Diane Neves had endured a domestically abusive marriage for 17 years. Making the decision to finally leave her husband was one of the hardest things she ever had to face – especially as splitting up their marriage would make life much more complicated for her three children.
After three failed attempts, Diane finally ended her marriage for good.
But her confidence was at an all-time low after so many years of abuse. Her spouse had told her many things that she had started to believe about herself. One of these things was that no other man would ever want her because she had a handicapped child.
Diane’s middle son, Ben, has quadriplegic cerebral palsy that has left him wheelchair-bound. He also has developmental delay in communication, epilepsy, and ataxia (a degenerative disease of the nervous system). Ben is non-verbal, and at 20 years old, he has the behaviors of a 3-year-old. He will need care for the rest of his life.
Understandably, though highly protective of her son, the idea of being Ben’s sole carer was daunting to Diane. But she had no love or respect left for her spouse, so inviting him back to her life wasn’t even an option.
Diane had to do this alone. And somehow, she found the strength to do so.
When her ex-husband ceased all contact with Ben, she saw that as more of his punishment than hers. She was lucky to have her own large support network, and she felt a newfound freedom in choosing her own happiness after so many miserable years.
As Ben continued to grow, Diane’s role of a caregiver grew with him. She hired a contractor to make her home accessible for Ben’s wheelchair, including a roll-in shower.
The contractor, called Victor, was incredibly knowledgeable and compassionate, and Diane was amazed by how Victor interacted with Ben. A part of her wanted to know more about the stranger in her home.
Victor completed the bathroom, then returned a month later to paint Diane’s kitchen. It was then that the pair had a deep conversation – and Victor revealed that he had recently separated from his partner. The pair had a connection, now that they had learned they were both going through similar break-ups.
From that moment on, Diane and Victor spoke regularly on the phone, updating each other with their own “drama”. They also shared personal stories, and started opening up to one another about their likes, dislikes, and dreams.
Amidst rumors of affairs and parental alienation, Diane and Victor continued to talk to one another. They then went on their first date – and Diane knew there was no going back. The inseparable pair finally moved in together, and devastatingly, their able-bodied children disowned us. Sharing her story with Love What Matters, Diane said:
“There is nothing more heartbreaking. For your children to not care about you, not care about what’s in your heart, not care about your feelings or your happiness. That is difficult.”
Despite the outside interference, the pair continued to build on their relationship. And Victor got to know Ben on a more personal level.
It turned out that Ben and Victor too had an “instant connection”, and Victor learned how to care for Ben as Diane did.
Things were finally looking up for the happy couple… but then disaster struck. Ben had a medical crisis, and required urgent surgery for a twisted bowel. At this point, Diane thought that her ex-husband would finally swallow his pride and visit his son’s bedside. But he didn’t.
Instead, it was Victor who acted as Diane’s support while Ben struggled to recover, dealing with “one complication after another”.
Victor cuddled Ben at his bedside, helped Diane to get back on her feet when she fell apart, and showered both Ben and Diane with the love they deserved.
Now, Victor and Diane are happily married.
The pair’s children are finally adjusting to the idea of the pair being together. Diane shared just how lucky she felt to have a “best friend”, “soul mate”, and “love of my life”.
She said:
“We are two beautifully broken individuals who found our way to each other. Who both sacrificed so much in order to love what matters – ourselves.”
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