60 times technology hilariously malfunctioned

Technology is pretty mind-blowing for the majority of us. The way it seems to just know what to do – you can leave it to it, and it will do exactly what you ask of it. The majority of us don’t even know how technology works; we just let it get on with whatever it’s supposed to. Which is why it’s nothing short of hilarious when technology malfunctions and produces something very unlike what you were expecting.

We’re taking a look at some of the most laughable mistakes and malfunctions of the tech we couldn’t live without today, so sit back and prepare to have a giggle.

1. Stubborn microwave

Late at night, many of us have wondered whether technology is secretly out to take over the world. This microwave certainly seems to think for itself. Perhaps this person attempted to reheat last night’s takeaway pizza and their microwave was just trying to do the best thing for their health.

2. Robots, beware

Nobody is safe from the “I am not a robot” test anymore. Even if you use your Where’s Waldo skills to successfully suss out the traffic lights on images taken 20 years ago, and are rewarded with a big happy tick for your efforts, you may still fail ultimately. It just depends what mood your computer is in, usually.

3. Poor image placement

Unless MSN has a not-so-secret dark side, this heading and image were not intended to sit next to one another. Someone must have had a firm talking-to after such an unfortunate blunder, surely.

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4. A little slow on the uptake

It’s always nice to know your phone is there for you when you need it. Like 155 days after your message failed to send. Because of course, that message will still be highly relevant today, and if you resend it successfully, you can continue the conversation where you left off.

5. Makes complete sense

It’s always reassuring to read clear, comprehensible digital messages at a tube station. Like this one, which reads like some sort of blackmail threat from Windows. Computer owner, beware.

6. Lost in translation

When you see Siri communications like this, you have to question why a bot would ever choose to take the long, complex route to come up with a ridiculous answer, when they could have just gone the easy way and saved us all the hassle. We’ve never heard of “quadrillion kilometre US dollars squared”, but we’d be interested to see physical evidence of such a thing.

7. Unrealistic expectations

Research is needed to support why this particular glitch is so unrealistic. 3 kilometres is about 9842.5 feet, and takes the average person just over half an hour to walk. If you ran very quickly, you could cover the distance in 10 to 15 minutes. In no way, shape or form could you walk the distance in one minute – so stop being so unrealistic, Google.

8. Your gender is incorrect

Some technology thinks it’s too smart for its own good. This person’s school cafeteria’s survey was insistent that all pupils were female, and it wasn’t afraid to say it. Unless they happen to be at an all-girls school, the chances of this are very slim.

9. Must be plagiarism

Anyone who had to use Turnitin will know the tense wait while the plagiarism detector does its thing. Did you manage to cite everything correctly? What if one of your sentences reads a bit too similarly to something else on the internet (which you definitely did not copy)? Imagine being this guy, who was penalised for putting the word “the” in his work. We’re not sure we know a good synonym for that.

10. Technology the teacher

It’s true that you really do learn something new every day. Who knew that Despacito, the summer anthem of 2019, is actually the national anthem of Bulgaria? Oh, technology, where would we be without your extensive general knowledge?

11. Mysterious crystal ball

Someone call IT support – the crystal ball’s playing up again. This mystical artefact at a Harry Potter exhibit isn’t quite creating its intended impression. Unfortunately it seems that the performer quit unexpectedly. Ah, the reliability of technology.

12. Cool sign

Well, this is awkward… It seems that this person managed to view the location of a “cool sign” before the sign itself was revealed. Instead, we get a glimpse of a random computer file, which informs us that we’re in for an absolute treat.

13. The train of doom

Even coping with one train stop is annoying enough as it is, so imagine the horror of learning that your train is set to make a grand total of 9,223,372,036,854,775,798 stops on your journey from A to B. Once logic kicked in, you’d realise that you were reading an error, but the initial shock must have been upsetting for this person.

14. Password protection

We all know the importance of a good password, but it can be a bit annoying when you’ve been creative with numbers, symbols and all the fancy stuff, only to be told that your word of choice needs to be longer. But if you think you’ve had it bad, try being this guy. a 255 character-long password is something else entirely.

15. Define “pleasant”

This person’s weather app is like that family member who always insists the windows are wide open in the winter because “it’s hotter than a sauna in here”. We’re not quite sure we’d consider -999 degrees (an obvious glitch) to be “pleasant” ourselves, but each to their own.

16. A message of kindness

Anyone who does a morning Subway commute will know the feeling of being only one breath away from a small breakdown. As if travelling in confinement with a load of strangers wasn’t bad enough, this lovely message was on hand to make this person’s commute even cheerier.

17. Glitched sign

This glitched sign has managed to make an entirely innocent dentist’s advert into something a little awkward. To make a valid point, the woman does look a little too happy to be sedated as it is, which certainly doesn’t help matters.

18. When your unpopularity hits home

It’s never fun being a minus in anything, but a minus in messages is something else. Trying to understand the physics behind this is befuddling. Best to just shrug it off and blame a tech malfunction.

19. It ran away

When the pressure gets too much, fight or flight kicks in. Some people kick up a fuss, while others, like this computer, quietly take their leave. There’s no knowing when he’ll be back, but it’s best to busy yourself with something else until he’s ready for responsibility again.

20. Blatant lying

This person’s antivirus software seems to have taken on the role of a government official during a crisis. “Yes, everything is fine, I can absolutely assure you of the fact.” Meanwhile, just down the street, chaos continues to unfold.

21. The biggest tune of them all

If you’ve never jammed to “System Preferences”, you’re missing out – it’s an absolute banger. Some words of advice: turn it up loud and play it through your highest quality speakers. Play it for your mates, and it’ll be the most requested song of the year.

22. Teleporting dogs

Many of us wonder exactly what our pets get up to when we’re away from home, and it seems this person has finally found out. Logically, based on data from their Doggo Tracker, their dog Nutmeg is skilled in the art of teleportation. Either that, or he’s just a very fast runner.

23. Lots of love for Iraq

We’re curious to know exactly what this website was selling, as it seems very keen for the product to be used in Iraq. Either that, or a very biased glitch has occurred. You have the choice of Iraq (9 times) or 8 other random countries.

24. Reassuring readings

Because we all want to learn that our heart has stopped. There has quite clearly been a bit of a mix-up here. What isn’t so clear is why this person’s phone thinks it’s “great” that their heart rate is at a steady 0.

25. Terrifying Snapchat filters

We fear that one day, Snapchat’s filters will be massively toned down, because let’s face it, they often produce terrifying results. Anyone who has face-swapped with their baby or their dog can attest to this. This man managed to create something truly horrifying with a filter that somehow extended his face onto his lower chin area.

26. Roller-coaster bridges

Google Maps doesn’t always quite get it right. To be fair, taking endless photos and managing to merge them into a three-dimensional representation of what the world actually looks like must be pretty tough. That still doesn’t make these roller-coaster bridges any less hilarious. How much is a ticket?

27. A “local” hospital

We can normally rely on Google to provide us with the closest options for whatever we need, but in this person’s case, Google clearly thought they were due a road trip. We’re not sure that anyone would be prepared to drive 34 hours in a medical emergency from Sweden to Bulgaria.

28. The notification for no notifications

Because it makes complete sense that your phone would notify you to let you know that you shan’t be receiving any notifications. The irony is not lost on us. We would suggest a silent notification in the future, or better still – no notification at all!

29. Rideable cyclone

It’s always pretty amusing when an app malfunctions and the visuals get a bit crazy. This person’s Scooter app created a cyclone of scooter and bike options across their city. Looks kind of fun, but it definitely won’t pass a health and safety inspection.

30. Those awkward mix-ups

Here’s proof that as clever as the likes of Siri can seem, they’re only really repeating back what we tell them. So if you ask your own Siri for a reminder for dye, you best believe she’ll remind you to die when the time comes around. She’s always there for you.

31. Speeding delivery driver

Checking out the maps on your food delivery app is a time of anticipation. So imagine this person’s mixed feelings when they discovered their driver was five minutes away – then noticed their “location” on the map and realised they were several states away. Two words: call support.

32. Netflix’s dark sense of humour

You didn’t know that Netflix was a fan of awkwardly dark comedy? Here’s all the proof you need. We’re not quite sure that’s the right caption. Just an inkling.

33. The logical quiz

Online quizzes are fun until they try to demean your impeccable knowledge with their ridiculous logic. This person somehow managed to answer an extra question correctly, and was still given a “you tried” metaphorical pat on the back for having a score of 107%. Go figure.

34. Siri being helpful

The sarcasm from some of these bots is real, I tell you. They genuinely do seem to have their own personalities. Why else would Siri waste someone’s time like this? Nothing but rudeness.

35. Beautiful Christmas tree

Isn’t Christmas breathtaking? The whites, the blues, the “quit” sign… Now wait just a minute. Something’s gone wrong here. We’re not quite sure that this is the tree people had signed up to get a glimpse of. Someone fix it, quick.

36. The message we all dread

Well, isn’t that a reassuring pop-up for a Monday morning. It seems that this person’s computer has malfunctioned to the point of sharing messages in rhyme. There’s only one solution: burn it and get a new one.

37. Settings addiction

Okay, we did some math here, and it turns out there are 168 hours in a week. According to this guy’s screen time stats, he spent 107 of these hours on his settings. That would mean he was sacrificing sleep to hang out on his settings page. Something seems a little odd here, and we’d like to think it was with the phone, not the user…

38. When Uber messes up

Uber is a life saver for so many reasons, but when our phones don’t quite have the right location vibes (or whatever the technical term is), Uber’s map can display some pretty hilarious results. We’d like to think this guy’s driver isn’t really deep sea exploring.

39. Long waiting times

One of the most frustrating things in the world is when you enter a wrong password and you can’t try again for another 24 hours. Even more annoying is when that password is correct, but your phone insists otherwise. But this person has it even worse than that – they need to wait three and a half weeks before they’re allowed to try again. Good old technology.

40. Unreliable or smart bots?

If you ever try and set reminders on your phone, you’ve probably been in a similar situation to this. Sometimes it seems like Google and Siri want to play. And by play, we mean play with your mind. In an unfriendly way.

41. Lift-off

According to this person’s flight map, they’re set to rocket-launch into space just north-west of Hawaii. We don’t know whether we’re more disturbed by the map or annoyed about this woman’s hair, which is definitely an invasion of personal space. Ah, the joys of flying.

42. Sassy computer

Look, no-one ever stops to think about just how hard it is to be a computer. Especially computers for those of us with office jobs. Computers have to put their metaphorical feet down at some point. This one’s going on strike.

43. Thrilling conversation

Communicating with a phone really is the highlight of anyone’s day. Who wouldn’t want to exchange “OKs” with their device throughout life? It’s like the “OK” scene from The Fault in Our Stars, except non-verbal.

44. When your phone controls the universe

On the split second after receiving this message, you would genuinely wondering if your phone was announcing something that only the cleverest of bots had so far figured out. A world-wide time freeze! The apocalypse is coming! Oh, wait – it’s just the Time app…

45. The missing 0.0000000000000%

This person got full marks on their test. 19 out of 19. Yet they’re still apparently inaccurate by 0.0000000000000%. How was this data figured out? Is there a secret unanswered question? Do they need to get 20 out of 19? Or are math quizzes destined to fail us?

46. Failing successfully

I mean, failing successfully is a bit of a contradiction of terms, but it technically is possible. Whether this computer was actually in a good state of mind when it coded out this message, we can’t be sure. The likelihood is no.

47. The irony

We’re slightly confused here. How else would you explain the shrug emoji other than what it is? “Person holding up hands”? “Non-committal emoji”? Either way, this person has landed themselves in an ironic situation. Best to just copy and paste what’s on the screen.

48. Tinder’s awkward honesty

We know what’s happened here: the ‘0’ is almost always supposed to be an actual number. Which changes the context of the text to something much friendlier and far less hostile. When this person starts racking up the likes, they’ll have Tinder back on their side again.

49. Well duh…

This computer seems to be suggesting that the user can’t claim to be 21, because someone aged 21 already exists. Because of course, there is only ever one person aged 21 in the world at any given time. We’re not sure how this can be resolved.

50. Naughty coupon code

This person experienced every person’s dream come true when their 30% coupon code ended up taking a little more than 30% off… hello, 98% discount! Our advice here is to take it and leave, before someone realises the mistake…

51. U OK, Windows?

Windows is supposedly known for being glitch-free, but we’re pretty certain nobody’s toolbar should be looking like that. Half those icons don’t even make sense – and a question mark is always a bad sign. Log it off and on again, and it’ll be okay for a bit.

52. Time travelling messages

Isn’t it amazing when you can go back in time and send or receive a message yesterday? Well, no, because it’s not possible. This person’s phone seems to think it is, though. It’s probably time for the dreaded system update.

53. Nice to know it’ll take that long

Downloading software is never an easy task. It’s pretty horrifying when your computer estimates it’ll take several hours to complete a download, never mind an infinite amount of time. This person might be worth giving up before they even get started.

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54. Miscalculations in time

Here’s another example of a miscalculation of screen time. When we last checked, 1 + 1 + 1 didn’t make 9. This phone seems to have lost a grip of basic math sums. Someone send it back to school.

55. Yep, makes sense

We’re getting very mixed signals from this person’s Windows set-up notification. Are they or aren’t they connected to the network? Can they or can’t they finish getting set up? So many unanswered questions.

56. Spot-on graphics

Either this person has defied the laws of physics in their new way of holding a gun, or there’s something not quite right with the graphics of this slightly dated computer game. Pretty unconventional, but if it works, it works.

57. That’ll make typing easy

Um… we’re pretty sure the keyboard belongs at the bottom of a page. And half of it is missing. This person’s phone is quite clearly surrendering itself and insisting that they buy a new one.

58. A bit off

If there’s one thing we can rely on our phones for, it’s to tell the time…. Ah. Maybe not. This person’s phone seems pretty insistent that it’s nearly 20 minutes into the future. Or is that the past?

59. What is the meaning of this?

I mean, you’re either on the 7th floor or you’re on the 25th floor. This new elevator doesn’t seem to want to co-operate with the old one. It thinks that as the new kid on the block, it gets to make up a whole set of new rules.

60. A very old file

According to this person’s phone, they have a file on there that dates way back to 1969. Considering computers only came on the market in 1977, it’s safe to say this is a definite glitch. Still, it’s probably worth checking that file out.

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