The best way to discipline children continues to be a huge debate. Do you spank them? Put them in a time out? Ignore the behavior altogether? The current advice from many of today’s child psychologists is that spanking makes matters worse. In fact, according to a recent study, spanking is more harmful to children in both the short- and long-term.
“Our findings suggest that spanking is not an effective technique and actually makes children’s behavior worse not better,” says psychological scientist Elizabeth T. Gershoff, lead author on the study.
Alternatives to spanking have shown to be more effective in the moment, as well as in future behavior. Other options to disciplining children include providing logical consequences, taking away privileges, and teaching new skills. Check out the following alternatives to spanking and gain better control of your children’s behavior.
Provide Consequences
Providing consequences for misbehaving helps children with behavior problems. For instance, if a child continually refuses to pick up their toys, provide a logical consequence, such as not letting them play with the toys for the rest of the day. This method directly ties a consequence to the problem at hand.
Place Your Child in Time-Out
Spanking a child actually sends mixed messages. It says that it’s OK for you to hit others but not for them to hit others. A better alternative is to place your child in a time out. This helps them calm down in a quiet space and contemplate their actions. For successful time-out tactics, read this story.
Teach New Skills
Instead of spanking your child when they misbehavior, teach them a new skill instead. Teaching children to problem solve in different situations helps them cope with everyday life events. So instead of punishing, try teaching them. For instance, if you child has a temper tantrum at the store, wait until you get home to talk to them about how they could have behaved differently. This type of guidance will help them in the future.
Take Away Privileges
Spanking a child may briefly hurt, but taking away a treasured item, like video games or a toy, or privilege, like playing with a friend, has a longer-lasting impact. They will most likely remember the privilege being taken away and won’t want it to happen again. Take away a privilege for no more than 24 hours, and make the time frame of the privilege loss clear to your child.
Ignore Mild Misbehavior
Ignoring some attention-seeking behavior, such as whining or complaining, is OK. It can be more effective than spanking. But don’t ignore dangerous situations or anything that is inappropriate. By ignoring attention-seeking behavior, your child will learn not to keeping repeating such behavior.
Reward and Praise Good Behavior
Try rewarding or praising your child for good behavior instead of spanking when they misbehave. For example, if your child doesn’t clean their room each day, instead of spanking or handing out another punishment, set up a reward system or praise system for when they do clean their room. This positive reinforcement encourages good behavior.
Allow Natural Consequences to Happen
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Letting children learn from their own mistakes, as long as those mistakes are not dangerous, is more effective than spanking them. For instance, if your child doesn’t finish dinner, they will be hungry later. If your child doesn’t wear a jacket, they’ll be cold. And if your child doesn’t finish their homework, they will get a bad grade. From situations like these, they will learn there are consequences for their actions.
