If you have a beloved pet, then you already know how devasting the day will be when they pass away. For so many of us, our pets are more than just an animal; they are more like family and friends.
Think about it.
When you are having a bad day or when you don’t feel well, your pet is probably the first living thing to come to your side. It’s just a special bond that nobody can replace.
Because our animals are so significant to us, it’s critical that we understand the grieving process is a genuine experience. Sometimes, petless individuals don’t realize how emotionally taxing it is for people when their pets pass away but make no mistake its one of the hardest days in someone’s life.
Here are a few tips to keep in mind as someone is grieving the loss of their pet
Recognize the Depth of the Relationship
Sometimes, it can be difficult understanding just how tight a person is with their animal. Perhaps you don’t see a person with their pet day in and day out, but make no mistake that it is a strong relationship that has regular interaction. Recognizing the depth of the relationship will help you appreciate the entire grieving process. While the pet may in fact, be an animal, for some people it’s a closer bond than they have with people.
According to a family grief counselor, Jill S. Cohen, the relationship between an animal can sometimes be more fulfilling for a variety of reasons. Cohen explains,
There is an unconditional love that a pet provides, where often a human relationship does not necessarily provide that. Also, a pet is reliable and has provided the security and stability through the owner’s life which often transcends other relationships. Children may leave home, a spouse may leave or be absent for a period of time. Parents may die. Friendships may drift. But the pet is always there — a source of comfort, a source of continuity in life, of constant companionship, a way for the owner to show love to a living being. A pet also provides a sense of routine for its owner. This may give the owner some consistency in life — feeding, walking, caring for the dog, tending to the pet’s needs. The bond between a human and a pet can sometimes be like none other.
It’s a complex relationship and because of that, it is only natural to need time to cope with the loss of a pet.
Avoid Saying Hurtful Things
Even if you don’t understand the intense emotional loss when it comes to the death of a pet, it’s important to at least identify that your friend is in real pain. Avoid making blanketing statements like “it was just a pet” or “you could always get another one.” While people may later choose to adopt another animal, it’s not usually something they want to do right away. While you may think you are helping move your friend along the process, it will likely just come as cold.
Avoiding risking your relationship and simply offer a listening ear if you don’t know what you should say. Sometimes all a person wants you to do is be there as they work through the grief process.
Appreciate the Process
This tip is for people who know someone who has lost a pet or someone who recently has lost a pet. Because other people may not understand the intense grief involved with losing a pet, we may feel like we should rush through or totally avoid the process altogether. While it’s true that most people will return to work and go about their regular routine, there is still an importance to creating a ritual for the passing of your pet.
Cohen offers this advice,
“Hold a gathering for people who knew your pet and would want to share stories or provide company for you during the beginning days of the loss. Make a photo collage. Frame or share with your friends through email or regular mail. It will tell the story that they may not know about your relationship and love for your pet. Visit friends who have pets and play with the animals. It will bring back the spirit of joy that the animal once provided for you.”
She also goes on to explain that there are even grief support groups that can help a person work through this very real loss.
For many of us, pets are just as important as the people in our lives. The more we understand the significance of the relationship between a pet and their owner, the more likely we give people the ample time and space to properly grieve.
Please SHARE this with your friends and family.
