A Harsh Reality For African-Americans
America has made it increasingly hard for black African-Americans to feel safe in their own skin. It’s a nation wrought with a bloody history of slavery and discrimination towards blacks for over 400 years. The harsh truths most African-Americans face is the ever-increasing danger for their lives whenever they take a step out of the front door.
A story about a mom raising her adopted black son has gained the attention of many who share commonalities between the experiences of having to face that treacherous reality. Rachel Garlinghouse documents her experiences in raising four black children and how the insurmountable pressures of society have made her fear for their lives.
Rachel writes that she considers herself to be a, “large, multiracial, adoptive family.” She and her husband are both white and all four of her children are black. She writes about the changes in how people and strangers perceived her two black daughters from the time of being infants and toddlers to the attention they received when they got older from people calling them, “adorable” and “cute”.
Rachel further elaborated on the fact that some white people would, with no evidence whatsoever, assume that the girls liked hip-hop. In addition, they would call them “girlfriend” and also noticed many white women attempt to grab the girls’ hair.
“However, when we had our son, we noticed how much more quickly strangers went from calling him “handsome” to perceiving him as a criminal.” Rachel wrote. She stated that he would be stared down, many times by white mothers, whenever a minor scuffle would break out in a public space or among a group of children.
She noticed that her son was clearly not the culprit and would even catch the women talking softly amongst themselves as if making all the wrong assumptions about her boy. “He was (and still is) what a lot of white America fears: a big, black boy.” Rachel wrote.
A Stirring Comment
One fateful day, Rachel experienced something that would change her life forever. A moment where all her fears manifested into a horrid nightmare. While her daughters were at school, Rachel went to go take her son to an appointment when they ran into an acquaintance. The lady had not seen her son in about a year and was elated from how much he had grown. Rachel smiled and said, “Yes, he is a big boy!” and the woman replied, “What a cute little thug.”
Her comment came at the wake of the aftermath concerning Michael Brown, a black teen who was killed by a white police officer in Ferguson, Missouri which was located about thirty minutes from Rachel’s home. At that moment, the experience made Rachel realize how clear it was that for some, black lives really didn’t matter at all. A few days after the Michael Brown murder, Rachel turned on the television and a photo of Michael Brown popped up on the screen.
“Who is that, Mommy?” her oldest asked. Rachel’s eyes quickly filled with tears as she realized how dreadful it feels to realize that the world her children would grow up in would treat them as if they were lesser people. “How would I prepare them for a life as a person of color in a society that has racism woven into the fabric of its existence?”
Rachel writes about the fact that she and her husband have taken this adoption very seriously. Along the way, she has learned many lessons on how to be incredibly sensitive and caring in regards to the racist issues America has to deal with day in and day out.
“I am his chosen mom, and I’m honored to be the one who gets to prepare him for adulthood,” Rachel wrote. “But since he is a big black boy, I know I cannot raise him on my own. We don’t have the experiences to fully prepare him to be a black man.”
It’s terrifying to realize that the world will never see you for who you are. This is the fear that haunts black African-Americans in this country. As for Rachel and her four beautiful black children, we hope for true change to come to allow a life of equality for people of color.
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