We like to think of ourselves as an eloquent species. After all, we are fairly good at communicating. Unfortunately, there are also moments when we forget to human, and most of these moments don’t always come with the opportunity to redeem one’s self. There are so many (hilarious and embarrassing) things that can happen because of lethologica or plain and simple mental block.
1) Elevator scenes belong in movies.
There’s nothing like hearing someone say they love you back. Even if it comes from a complete stranger. Who completely misunderstood. Oh, well. It’s the thought that counts, right?
2) Cady Heron understands.
It’s “grool” all over again. Only she didn’t get judged and Aaron Samuels found it adorable. If only this person were as lucky.
3) “Tomayto”/”tomahto” 2.0
It does kind of sound like a fancy Italian dish – something that’s only available at the expensive restaurants. Whatever it is, I’d like a generous serving, please.
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4) Dad’s the word.
Not the cutest mistake but it’s still perfectly understandable. If only all kids were this grateful. And besides, who doesn’t love a family man?
5) Sometimes you just need to be held.
Life is tough. What’s wrong with wanting to be held? We smell a Freudian slip here.
6) Professor is probably concerned.
Perhaps this is solid proof that the workload in school has finally taken its toll? We can only hope Professor Allen was kind enough to inquire why. (And maybe make sure his student was okay?)
7) Why did that even come up, mom?
And number one on the list of “Just no, mom”… This must have been one hell of a conversation. We’re still seriously wondering where this mistake stemmed from.
8) It does have a nice ring to it.
Water. Animals. On display. Hey, it could work. We’ll consider this.
9) “The Leggo my eggo things.” What?
We’re as perplexed as you are. This could make for a funny game of Charades. Will & Grace would totally be up for the challenge.
10) Badassery.
This sounds so much better than plain ol’ spoon and fork. And hey, if it makes you a better fighter, we’re up for it.
11) “No.”
Just no. Sometimes, you don’t even want to explain anymore. We can hear the sigh of exasperation from all the way here.
12) Yes, which word? Do enlighten us.
Imagine the effort that goes into trying to make sense of this. Or the many possible stories behind the sentence. It’s all just… so wrong.
13) Well? Do you?
Maybe he was just too parched. Extreme thirst does fog up the mind. Doesn’t it?
14) This could totally be a cute new concept.
Holiday Armadillo, move over. It’s about time we added to the list of animals associated with Christmas anyway.
15) She’s not wrong.
It’s not breakfast. It’s not dinner. It’s not brunch either. So, technically…
16) A lot of bread? A ton of food? A bread basket? WHAT?
Cue Jeopardy music. This is honestly the type of description that could make anyone go hungry. I mean, bread, other types of food, and more bread? Yum.
17) Jerry is here.
It would honestly be so maddening if the receptionist didn’t understand. “What do you mean you don’t know which Jerry I’m talking about?”
18) “You wanna talk about mothers.”
When in doubt, go for a visual aid. We sure hope they were able to point her in the right direction. After trying to keep a straight face, that is.
19) It’s like a box, but not really.
Language barriers can be difficult. So can mental blocks. And plain and simple forgetfulness.
20) Still doesn’t describe it, but okay.
Servers who patiently stand there and wait until you figure it out don’t get enough credit. This fabulous customer probably tipped him well after giving him reasons to think hard and laugh harder.
21) She meant baby, too.
The brain fart was just too much. We love how transparent you are with how you feel about kids. No worries, no offense taken.
22) Safe sex, but make it fashion.
It’s all the rage in all the major cities. All the fashionable men are wearing it. I mean, really.
23) Just another one of those Halloween things.
You know, those three-colored things that make trick or treating worth it? If search engines had a habit of talking back: “Could you be more specific?”
24) I don’t always like you, but I don’t hate you either.
This could be one of the most accurate definitions of friendship yet. Friends… They’re the people you can actually stand.
25) So if it’s a length measurer thing…
Inventions are tricky. So is finding the perfect name. Exhibit A. If it can measure the distance or length from this end to that end, then it must be a…
26) “Show me who your people are…”
“…and I will tell you what you are.” I say, confused. Terribly confused and completely relatable.
27) Is it a dinglehopper?
Don’t feel bad. This writer sure didn’t. And isn’t four stabby fingers such a mood sometimes?
28) This would be a great name for a song. Or a movie.
Wouldn’t it? It sounds like something out of a children’s book or a fantasy film. We can imagine the possible plots.
29) Cute, mom.
Unintentional mom jokes/puns should be a thing, too. They’d probably give cringe-worthy yet endearing dad jokes a run for their money.
30) Mortal Kombat should consider this. “Finishment!”
“Finishment.” It sort of has a nice ring to it. Like each week always has an epic ending waiting for you.
31) Is it a weapon? A ride at an amusement park? A game?
She’s brilliant but she’s only human. This brain freeze moment gives us a classic case of “charming and adorable without meaning to be”. Egg torpedo also sounds like an item that belongs in the kids’ menu.
32) Sh*t happens.
This person knew what she wanted to say. Unfortunately, it came out wrong. No pun intended.
33) You sure about that?
A little more convincing and perhaps we’ll finally take your word for it. We are known for claiming to be good at saying things… and proving ourselves wrong.
34) Sing it with me: “I’m a little…”
You’ve been hanging around preschoolers for too long. Also, A for effort on the charades move. It’s a non-existent answer but hey, you tried.
35) There can only be one Arctic band.
Wife may have laughed but you have to admit, it’s not totally far-fetched, either. Iceberg… arctic… you catch his drift.
36) This belongs on Sesame Street.
Isn’t it the kind of game you can visualize Elmo and Abby playing? Or the kind of thing Ernie and Bert would have a slightly maddening conversation about? We can totally see it.
37) It’s a newfangled invention.
We love how the person who replied understood perfectly and gave a suggestion of her own. It’s nice to come across people who just get you, isn’t it? Even when you don’t get yourself.
38) But is there really such a thing though?
This is the kind of brain fart that would totally get you thinking. Are man panties really a thing? Should they be? No? Okay.
39) Pupper? Sploot? Pupperino? Woofer?
But we totally get you. Oh, how things have changed! Here’s a guide to make you feel better.
40) “Dude, what does mine say?”
If science has branches, so does broism. It pays to stand out. This is going to be one fun wedding entourage.
41) “Old MacDonald had a…”
So what came up in the search results? It sounds like a funny-looking false idol from ancient times. You know, the kind people would offer plants and weird sacrifices to.
42) Who doesn’t love concise instructions?
Kids and grown-ups alike will appreciate this, that’s for sure. It does capture the purpose of the object perfectly. That’s exactly what happens: noodles stay, water goes.
43) Was this in a Goosebumps book?
Yet another mistake that makes total sense to us all. What else would you call it, right? We love how blurting things out results in interesting yet comical labels.
44) Mom brain + too much Stephen King =
They do feel like prisoners sometimes. It does kind of give off that vibe. But then again, it’s only for a few hours a day.
45) They make a great team.
Get you a friend who would automatically send random words until you get close to remembering what it is exactly that’s on your mind. We love the support.
46) We’d like a word with your anatomy professor.
“That thing.” That isn’t a thing, you see. But we’re not here to judge.
47) This sounds way nicer.
Budget always sounded so dull anyway. And aren’t all of us technically on money diets now? We’re all for this.
48) Pepé Le Pew is hurt.
We feel bad for their widely misunderstood, always-made-fun-of defense mechanism. We feel even worse for this person who had to endure confused looks and possible judgment from his or her colleagues.
49) Now doesn’t that sound fancy?
I’d like my coffee to go, please. And I’ll have one of those savory doughnuts, too.
50) We understand what you’re saying.
There really is no room for both. We totally get what you’re trying to say. And we’re having none of that. Cheers.
In a serious world brimming with perfectionists, critics, and grammar nazis, it’s refreshing to be around your kind. The non-judging, funny, only-human kind who would gamely laugh at you and with you because they, too, have been in your shoes and totally get what it’s like.
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