Life
Here Are The 41 Worst Tinder Dates Ever That Are Straight Out Of Your Worst Nightmare
Cedric Jackson
01.07.19

Everyone knows that the world of online dating can be complicated. It’s become even more so since apps like Tinder came around. For some people, meeting up with someone via Tinder has become a quick way to go on a date that was absolutely terrible — or at least just plain weird. These 41 people know what it’s like to be let down by the dating app. Some of them were stood up, some of them had an awful night, and some of them just left feeling confused. Hopefully, they can all laugh about those memories now, even though they probably won’t be back any time soon.

1. Third time’s the charm?

“I once got stood up twice in one night. With the first girl, me and her had an actual planned out date a few days in advance. I get to the place and texted her. She texted me 20 min later and said she had met up with a friend beforehand so she was running late. She never showed up. I started Tindering at the bar, matched with someone, told her about my situation and asked her what she was up to. She said she was at a bar by herself, and told me that it sucked that my date just didn’t show up. I asked her if I could join, and she gave me an enthusiastic-sounding “sure!”. She wasn’t there when I showed up lol. I sarcastically messaged her ‘Wow stood up twice in one night! I feel like I should get a prize or something.’ She didn’t respond and un-matched me the next day. The first date later said that she showed up late and I had left already, and wanted to re-schedule. I just wasn’t feeling it anymore and got off Tinder after that one.”

Former Tinder user Isansa says he had the fantastically unfortunate experience of being stood up … by two Tinder dates in one night. After matching with a girl who seemed sweet, he made plans to meet her at a restaurant a few days later, only to be left waiting. He decided to go to a nearby bar, where he matched with another girl, who excitedly agreed to meet him right away. But she was another no-show. When the first girl made contact again and apologized for “being late”, Isansa says he decided to delete the app altogether. After that terrible night, we’re not sure we blame him.

Groupon
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Groupon

2. Love you, hate your food.

“I’m an Asian dude. Matched with a white girl who was very clear in her profile that she only wanted Asian dudes. Normally, I don’t like being with anyone with a racial preference, even if it’s my race, but everything else about her (job, hobbies, etc.) seemed pretty interesting. Took her to a Korean restaurant and she revealed to me that she’s one of them picky eaters that grew up eating chicken fingers her entire life. Everything else about her turned out to be as boring as her culinary preferences. How do you expect to land an Asian dude when you’re afraid of any cuisine outside of fast food?!?!?”

Reddit user JonNYBlazinAzN is Asian, so he matched with a Caucasian woman looking for an Asian man. He was hesitant because he thought it was odd for anyone to have a preference when it came to the race of a potential significant other. But her profile was interesting enough that he wanted to take a chance. He decided to take her out to a Korean restaurant. Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, her taste for all things Asian didn’t extend to food. In fact, she ate almost exclusively fast food and hated everything else. It sounds like a pretty awkward date with a lot of leftovers.

3. Talk about a frosty reception.

“Not me but a friend of mine.

So he met this girl on Tinder, they chatted an after a month she invited him to her town, around 100km away. He agreed because he had a f***-ing date! So he drove to the town and a nice evening, eventually they got dinner. They eat but after the meal she ‘gotta go to the toilette’ but never comes back.

He had to pay the whole bill with his leftover money. He got back home and it was an pretty expensive trip for him…”

Reddit user SikvoII told the story of an unfortunate friend, who met what he thought was a lovely woman on Tinder. They spent a full month talking before deciding to meet up for a dinner date. The only issue was that they lived 100 km apart, so it was going to take some planning. After dinner, the woman excused herself to the bathroom and pulled an Irish exit, leaving her date with the full bill and a long trip home. Talk about cold: that’s a lot of gas money and the cost of dinner that she stiffed him on. Not to mention a month of talking and a cross-country drive.

4. He was inexperienced … very inexperienced.

“Matched with an insanely hot guy. Told me he was a virgin but figured I’d let it slide. Go to his place and he was super handsy and sucked at kissing. I decided I was over it and told him I had to leave. He hugged me at the door and said, ‘I love you.. I mean I love your body!’

I got out of there so fast that I left my favorite cardigan. I have no desire to get it back.”

Reddit user officialkinzie decided to take a chance on a guy who told her he was a little inexperienced when it came to physicality. It turns out that that was all that was on his mind … and he wasn’t very good at it. She says that in spite of his amazing looks, he was a horrible kisser. She also didn’t appreciate that he was pretty darn free with his hands. She fled (without her beloved cardigan, she says), but not before he told her that he loved her — her body, that is. He sounds like a guy who needs experience with the whole human race before he can try with women again.

5. At least clean up your own vomit!

“In 2013 my buddy hit it off with a young lady on Tinder. She lived in a college town about an hour away and he invited her out drinking in our city. He, I, and a dozen of our male friends were pregaming hard before a fraternity mixer. She shows up to his new and expensive highrise condo and she’s gained at least 40 or 50 pounds since her profile pictures were taken. Then she got riggity riggity rekd on shots and beers. Most of the party clears put to get changed and it’s just the owner of the condo, her, and me. It’s maybe 10pm and we want to go out but she’s slurring her words. She starts vomiting. And doesn’t stop for an hour, that’s when I went left. Why the owner of the condo decided comes with me is a question lost to history, but he leaves her in the bathroom. When he got back he said she had curled up on his bed and puked on the night stand. So he sleeps on the couch.

And when he awoke, she had disappeared without paying for or cleaning anything.”

Reddit user JailBaitFBIAgent also had a story about a friend whose dating life went off the rails on Tinder. The culprit for his terrible evening was a round of shots and beer. He had a new condo in pristine condition … until he invited a woman with whom he’d recently matched on Tinder to a fraternity party. After a lot of alcohol, she got sick … for hours. She vomited in the bathroom and on the nightstand before passing out in her date’s bed. When he woke the next morning on the couch, he found that she had gone, leaving her puke behind. Seems pretty rude not to say goodbye, or at least grab a mop before you go.

6. Wait for the third date to unleash your crazy side.

“Not me but a friend of mine met a girl who was fine, he went out with her a few times but on the third date she went f***-ing crazy. I don’t have all the details but she was sitting in his truck talking to herself and at one point threw her phone out saying she didn’t want any attachment to material possessions. He says it got worse from there. It ended up with the cops taking her away.”

TurtleMan20 tells the story of his friend, who matched with a woman who seemed perfectly pleasant … for the first few dates. But by their third evening out, she was starting to go off the rails. From having conversations with herself to spontaneously deciding to get rid of her earthly possessions (and throwing her cell phone out) the girl seemed to be doing her best to convince him that dating her was a terrible idea. He couldn’t have continued anyway after the police came to take her. That friend can honestly say “Thank God for the boys in blue” for saving him from a truly crazy girlfriend.

7. When you find out that you’re the mistress…

“Matched with a girl, dated for about a month/month and 1/2. Introduced me to her ‘neighbor’ at one point that she car pools with and I figure okay, whatever.

We end up having sex a few times, she comes over my place again, I (wanting to have sex again) make a move and she slips s*** and leaves.

I feel awful wonder holy f*** was I that much of an ***hole? Look at her FB page because I was thinking about her we finally added each other earlier that day and see that Mr. Neighbor and her had been in a relationship for 2 years and either still were or had just broken up and are most likely living together.

Never got a chance to confront her because she hasn’t spoken to me since. I sent a few texts but she unfreinded me on FB so I got the message and deleted her number and our kik conversation.

Some people use that s*** for one night stands or FWB and if that was what would have been established I’d have been fine with it. I didn’t think it was that starting out.”

Lins105 wasn’t expecting his girlfriend of one month, whom he’d met on Tinder, to be cheating on him. He definitely wasn’t expecting that she was cheating with him, on her boyfriend of two years. She was almost definitely still living with him, but she told the poster that he was her neighbor and they carpooled together. Unfortunately, Lins105 never got to the bottom of the matter. His girlfriend broke all social media ties once he confronted her and ghosted him from there on out. It’s pretty cowardly to end a relationship … but it’s also cowardly to cheat in the first place.

Car Breathalyzer Help
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Car Breathalyzer Help

8. She went to great lengths for a guy who didn’t deserve it.

“This was my friend… but it was a great story.

She agreed to go out with a guy. They made plans that included her being picked up by him. She gets in the car and notices that he has one of those breath start contraptions that you get with a DUI. Bummer, but not a deal breaker. They get to the restaurant and it is a terrible Mexican spot. She is a not a picky eater, so she said she would give it a whirl. The food was okay, but not great. They are talking and getting to know each other, and she notices that he orders a couple of margaritas. At the end of the meal he lets her know that he doesn’t have any money. She pays for the dinner and just wants to go home. They get to his car and he says he can’t drive because he had drinks. She is way nicer than I would have been and decided to drive his car to his house, then Uber home from there. She had to keep blowing in the device and was just really pissed about the whole thing.”

Reddit user cda555 has a story about a female friend whose Tinder date went from bad to worse all evening long. It started out when her date picked her up in a car outfitted with a breathalyzer, indicating that he’d recently gotten a DUI. His date decided not to judge and to still give the night a chance. After a bad dinner at a Mexican restaurant, during which he drank several margaritas, he broke two pieces of news: he had no money, and since he’d had alcohol, she’d be driving them home. She did and had to regularly blow into the breathalyzer as she drove. One thing is for sure: she was way more generous than most of us would have been.

9. Well … that escalated quickly.

“I was having a great conversation with guy on Tinder. Then he asked me what I’d like to do in the future. I said I’d like to work for a company like Monsanto (Ag Business major in college here). Then they proceeded to call me ‘Lucifer in the flesh’ and unmatched me (blocked). I shortly deleted Tinder.”

Reddit user HorseRacing was an agriculture business major, so when she started chatting with a guy on Tinder and the conversation turned to what she wanted to do as a career, she gave an honest answer. She said she might like to work for a company like Monsanto. At that point, their pleasant conversation got weird fast, as the guy told her she was “Lucifer in the flesh” and blocked her. She says the experience was enough to get her off Tinder for good, and we don’t think we blame her. Wonder what that guy’s opinion on genetically modified foods is?

Family Dollar
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Family Dollar

10. Tinder and hot dogs lead to happily ever after.

“I knew the girl before the date, because she’d worked at my job before being fired. I’d always thought she was cute, and she liked Batman, so I decided I’d try her out. We match, and decide to meet at a local hot dog stand. We’re eating, and everything is going great, and then I feel something get stuck in my throat. Turns out a piece of hot dog was completely blocking my esophagus (luckily, past my lungs, so I could still breath). I excuse myself to a nearby bathroom and attempt to hack it up for about 5 minutes, and then I started coughing blood. Long story short, I end up in the hospital, had to get an endoscopy, and ended up texting her a bunch of graphically explicit things about her ass while on anesthetics.

And that’s how I met my future wife.”

Doofalicious has a story that is horrifically awkward with an unexpectedly happy ending. The two of them had known each other casually before matching on Tinder. Their first date took place at a hot dog stand. There, the poor guy got a piece of a hot dog stuck in his esophagus, coughed up blood, and landed in the hospital for an endoscopy. If you think that’s as bad as it can get, he also sent her some inappropriate texts while high on painkillers. But believe it or not, they both moved on from their disastrous first date and got married. Now they have a horrible (but pretty funny) story to tell their kids.

11. A lot can happen in 20 minutes.

“She said she was voting for Ben Carson.

She called her father ‘Daddy’

She made me sit through an entire Joe Jonas song.

That or when I showed up to the bar and she just started talking s*** about all her ex’s and then she ended up making out with one dude and went home with another… This all happened within 20 minutes.”

It didn’t take long for Reddit user stavarz to realize they were on a date from hell. But they didn’t have to suffer for long. After 20 minutes, the date decided to go home with another guy who was a complete stranger. That happened after she decided to have a heart-to-heart about her ex-boyfriends and then go kiss another guy. Oh, and he wasn’t the guy that she ended up going home with. On the bright side, at least he got out of it before things got really crazy.

SWAGGER Magazine
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SWAGGER Magazine

12. How do we broach this topic, exactly?

“Not exactly my worst, but potentially most confounding. Completely different girl showed up to my date. I’m not talking clever use of camera angles. This was a completely different person.

I was honestly just amazed that someone had actually done this, and that I was witnessing it. It was one of those things that I’ve heard stories about from friends, but never actually experienced.

It was super weird. She mentioned facts about me as if she was the one I was messaging, so who knows. I left after a drink. Met up with some friends.”

ineedabulldog had an awkward experience that they never exactly managed to resolve. After chatting with a woman on Tinder and arranging a date, they were confused when … a completely different woman showed up. She never explained and seemed to know all the details of their online conversations. The Reddit user decided not to ask and to stick around for a single drink before leaving to go hang out with friends. Maybe some things just aren’t worth getting into when it comes to Tinder dates.

13. This guy is the king of multitasking.

“Guy invited me on a date to a bar to watch a band play and get a drink or two. I show up and wait around for a good 20 minutes. Turns out it was his band that was playing and he had invited 3 other girls on ‘dates.’ I was so mad, and waiting outside for my Uber when he came out and told me I was being incredibly rude and he never wanted to see me again.”

No girl (or guy, for that matter) likes to find out she’s just one out of a crowd. Reddit user rosieyourealright found that out during a disastrous Tinder date. She thought she was meeting a guy to have a couple drinks at a bar. He was 20 minutes late, and they weren’t meeting for drinks: his band was going to play and she was going to listen. But she wasn’t the only one. There were three other dates there for the exact same thing. She left, but not before the guy told her that she was rude for doing so.

Single Steve
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Single Steve

14. If you run into your ex, just call the cops.

“Back in college, met a girl on Tinder. Invited her over after meeting out at the bars that night. We hook up and she was gone in the morning. We went out 1 more time sober and realized it wasn’t working out/what we wanted so we stopped talking.

Anyways, 2 months later. My roommate brings her home and they hook up. Apparently they met on Tinder as well. I wake up to her coming into my room. I wake up and ask her to leave since I had class the next morning. She ends up pushing this red button that was in all the bed rooms at this particular campus. For those who have never seen this, it is a small red button that sends the police a distress signal.

Anyways, later I have the police at our apartment as I explain to them that she thought it was funny to be press the button and I want her to leave. Meanwhile, she goes on saying it was an accident. Luckily, she finally leaves after all that.”

SlayOwensSlay says he spent a drunken night with a Tinder date, but after talking while sober, they realized they weren’t a good fit. A couple months later, she started seeing his college roommate. When the two of them ran into one another, she decided to push a police distress call button in the dorm room, leading to an awkward explanation to the cops. Seems like a pretty petty move without a lot of rewards.

15. Who doesn’t love watching someone else play video games?

“I got tea with this guy as a first meet-up, and that went decently so I agreed to go out with him again. This time he suggested Dave and Busters. It was like a Wednesday night; the place was totally empty. This had the potential to be either really lame or really fun; it was definitely the former. He had no desire to drink (I offered to buy), revealed that he goes there by himself rather often, and by the end of it I was basically watching him play video games. First time I ever contemplated leaving while someone was in the bathroom.

After the date he kept texting me and I was pretty unresponsive, hoping he would take the hint. After a couple days I told him I wasn’t interested, and he responded by cursing me out. Good times.”

Reddit user halfadash6 says that her first date with this particular Tinder match went well, so they decided to go for a second one. Unfortunately, the guy’s idea of a perfect second date was to go to a deserted Dave and Buster’s location, refuse drinks, and invite his date to watch him play video games. It was mind-numbingly boring and the poster lost interest. Of course, video game guy didn’t pick up the hint, so when he finally realized there was no spark, he launched into a curse-filled verbal attack. He sounds like an all-around great guy.

Huffpost Canada
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Huffpost Canada

16. Go on, get out of here.

“Not only was the guy I met up with not the person in his pictures, he told me I looked different than what he expected, and offered me gas money to leave.”

Buzzfeed contributor victoriaf4f2309550 was so disappointed with her Tinder date’s opinion of her appearance, they didn’t even finish their evening. She says he didn’t think she looked as good as she did in her online photos and offered to give her gas money to go away. That’s a pretty harsh blow, to offer someone money just to get them to leave. The real kicker here? The guy wasn’t the person from his own Tinder pictures.

17. Just make sure to let her know when the wedding is.

“The whole date he kept putting his hand over mine and cutting me off to say, ‘You’re so pretty!’ He asked me to stand and turn for him, and told me to not talk politics. When I asked what his plans were for the rest of the week, he said he’d be introducing me to his family, and maybe looking for a place to live together. I dodged the goodnight kiss, and got very emotional texts from him for weeks after.”

Buzzfeed contributor meredithb9 had a horrible experience with her Tinder date, who had already pegged her for his own happily-ever-after. He continuously interrupted her to tell her how beautiful she was and desperately wanted to hold her hand. When she did get to talk, she was told not to talk about politics. But don’t worry, he had other plans in mind: they were going to meet one another’s families and then go apartment hunting for a place … together. She says he continued to text her for several weeks after their date.

Mens Health
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Mens Health

18. There are no possible red flags here.

“My date explained that he had picked me up late by saying, ‘The ex-wife took our kids home in our van even though she knew I was using it tonight.’ Turns out they still lived AND worked together. Then we went to a baseball game where he told me that he was about to go to trial for assaulting a police officer. The baseball game got rained out, and we couldn’t find where he parked his (their?) van, and when he dropped me off he said, ‘Have a good night, buddy.’ Ya, have a good life, buddy.”

Hannahbalrising matched with a man who had an ex-wife and kids. No big deal, right? Until she found out that he still lived and worked with her. He was late picking her up and furious that the ex-wife had been using their van even though he’d notified her he needed it that night. Don’t worry, that’s not the only truth bomb he dropped on her during the date: he also let her know that he’d once assaulted a police officer. They were going to head to a baseball game. Fortunately for her, it was canceled due to rain.

19. That’s not what splitting means!

“I met up with my Tinder date at a coffee shop. I ordered a latte, while he ordered a coffee and six appetizers. When he got the last plate, he offered me some, but I declined. When the check came he asked to split the bill and I assumed he was joking. I didn’t eat his food and the check was over $100. When I realized that he was dead serious, I told him that I wasn’t splitting the bill because I hadn’t eaten anything of his. He then said, ‘So? That was your decision.’ I put down $10 and left.”

Elianny1626 matched with a seemingly nice guy on Tinder and they decided to make a date at a coffee shop. But there, things took a weird turn: she decided to get coffee, and he decided to get a total of six separate appetizers. He offered to share one of them (out of the six), but she wasn’t interested in sharing. After he ate a huge amount of food and racked up a $100 bill, he asked her if she’d be willing to split the bill. She pointed out that she hadn’t eaten anything and got the reply: “So? That was your decision”. She was nice enough to throw him $10 on her way out the door.

20. Eat my ice cream, fat-shamer.

“This guy and I decided to hang out, and he asked me to pick him up because he didn’t have a car…that should have been my first clue. I went to pick him up, and the first thing he did when he got in the car was pat my belly and say, ‘A little too much beer, yeah? You’re gonna have to lose that if we date.’ I kicked him out and got ice cream.”

Buzzfeed contributor d00289349 knew the date was going to go wrong from the second it began. Firstly, the guy didn’t have a car and asked to be picked up. That’s not necessarily automatic ghosting, but it doesn’t look good. But the moment he got into the car, he killed all his chances. He reached over to his date’s stomach, patted it, and said, “A little too much beer, yeah? You’re gonna have to lose that if we date”. To d00289349’s credit, she kicked the guy to the curb and celebrated with some ice cream.

21. He decided he saw something better.

“Matched with a guy and we talked for bit before agreeing to meet for drinks. Day of, he showed up late, then couldn’t find me (after walking by me twice). He finally sat down, and as we ordered drinks, he started flirting with the waitress. Halfway through the first drink he announced that he didn’t think we had any ‘chemistry.’ I chugged the rest of my drink and wished him luck with the waitress. He smirked and said that he thought he had a shot with her.”

Bethe4c9bfdbcc’s date hadn’t even ordered his drink before he started flirting with their waitress. As the date continued, it was clear he only had eyes for her. To be fair, he didn’t let the date continue very long: they got halfway through their first glasses when he decided to call it quits, saying he didn’t think they’d be a good fit. The poster downed the rest of the drink and said she hoped he had better luck with the waitress. He agreed that he probably would.

Oddity Mall
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Oddity Mall

22. Well, that’s … unique.

“I went on a date with this guy I’d met on Tinder who seemed pretty nice. We met up at a park, and when I saw him I noticed that he was carrying this really big backpack. At the end of the date, I asked him about it. He told me that it was a secret but that he’d show me anyway. We hid behind this tree and he opened the bag to reveal what seemed like hundreds of really creepy stuffed monkey animals! I was horrified, especially when he said, ‘They all sleep in my bed. Every night. Just like you can.’ What’s even worse is that sometimes I’ll still see him at the park with that giant backpack!”

FnchDarcy matched with a guy on Tinder who was seemingly nice — and seemingly normal. He showed up to their date with a giant backpack, which was pretty odd. What was even odder, though, was the backpack’s contents. He didn’t reveal his “secret” (yes, he called it a secret) until the end of the date. Don’t worry, he didn’t do anything creepy. He just led his date behind a tree and revealed dozens of stuffed toy monkeys. Then he said, “They all sleep in my bed. Every night. Just like you can.” The poster opted out of the offer but still sees Backpack Guy around occasionally.

23. This guy’s philosophy is ‘go big or go home’.

“He took me to see 50 Shades of Grey, and in the middle of one of the sex scenes, he proceeded to ask in a loud voice if I would let him do the same things to me. I could not get out of there fast enough!”

Mnmd25 decided to split when their seemingly nice Tinder date took them to “Fifty Shades of Grey”. That’s not where it gets super creepy, though. During one of the sex scenes, he wanted to know one very important question: if they’d be doing the same things themselves. That’s a super creepy question, since “Fifty Shades” isn’t just about sex — it’s about BDSM, which is definitely not everyone’s thing.

Auto Forward Spy App
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Auto Forward Spy App

24. Geez, you don’t have to leave town to get rid of me.

“I met up with a guy on Tinder who was in town that weekend. We went to the movies and two hours into the film he got up. I sent him a text to make sure he was okay. He ensured me that he was fine and just needed a few minutes. Twenty minutes went by and I texted him again telling him that we could leave if he wasn’t feeling well. It turns out that he had left the movie, went back to the hotel, packed his shit, and left. He wasn’t ready for that much ‘contact.’ So I was left crying in the back of the theater at 1 a.m. and had to walk back to the hotel by myself. I’ll never go see a movie again.”

Tristadthomas met up with a Tinder match who was from out of town and was only around for one weekend. Their movie date was going just fine … until the date got up and left. After a while, Tristadthomas texted him to make sure everything was all right and got a response saying he’d be back in just a few minutes. After another 20 minutes, the date texted again to say he’d not only left the movie theater: he was leaving town and had already packed his things. The reason? He wasn’t ready for so much contact.

25. Well, that’s as bad as it can possibly get.

“Finding my mom on there.”

Tinder user downtodouch has a very simple and VERY unfortunate Tinder experience that is probably everyone’s worst nightmare. The short and sweet version? They ran into their own mother on Tinder. Suffice it to say, they weren’t suited. What’s more, they probably never talked about it. No one wants to have that weird conversation with Mom.

26. Tried to steal a cat.

Went on a date with this cute girl. We talked about an hour and she felt more fascinated when I brought up my cats. She was very eager to meet them so we proceeded to go to my place. Spent few hours just playing with my cats. She was about to leave and before she put her shoes on to go, she says to me, “Oh I forgot something.” And went to grab my youngest kitten, (during the time 4 months old) and picked him up and wanted to walk out with him. I stopped her and told her what was she doing. To her reply, “I thought you let me adopted him?”

27. Wait, dead bodies?

Met a guy on tinder, we talked for a while on fb before meeting. He decides to come to my work for my lunch break. I was working 3rd shift at the time so this was at like 3am. I hung out in his car in complete silence while he played on his phone. Then he started to show me pictures of REAL dead bodies on his phone. I hopped out of his car so fast. That was my first and last tinder date.

28. Sounds like an awful date, but I hope he’s doing better…

I matched with a guy I went to high school with and who I always thought was really good looking and really cool, played sports, well liked by everyone, etc. I probably hadn’t seen him in 2 years at this point but in his Tinder pictures he still looked the same, so we agreed to meet up for coffee. He comes in with greasy long hair, a beard, and actually looked homeless, and went on to tell me that he dropped out of college and has severe ADHD now. He couldn’t focus on one thing and was fidgeting the entire date, told me how he’s now one with the earth, and at the end of it told me he was gay. I’m a girl. I seriously thought I was being punk’d.

29. Why would he do that?

Him: Do you drive in to work?

Me: Yep, how about you?

Him: Public transport. How come you don’t take the train?

Me: Ah, I’m not a fan of public transport and besides, I have free parking at work so it’s win-win for me.

Him: How come you don’t like public transport?

Me: Ah, a few years ago some douchebag stuck his hand up my skirt when I was getting off the train. So anyway-

Him: Did he do it like this?

He then proceeded to put his hand up my skirt while we were sitting down on a park bench, and got high enough to touch the gusset of my stockings.

30. Drank a coke and left.

Guy kept asking me out for weeks and even called me (we had exchanged numbers eventually) to convince me, so I decided to give it a try. We decided to meet at a bar. He got there 30 minutes late and ordered a coke. Apparently, he was a recovering alcoholic. That’s not a problem for me, I just thought it was weird that he had agreed to go to a bar. And then, he proceeded to perform on me what felt like a job interview. At some point I even sarcastically asked “am I doing ok here?”. After 40 minutes of that, he got up, paid for his coke and said “I’m gonna go, I have to get up early tomorrow”. And left. We haven’t talked since.

31. This is a very weird interest.

I had been on a few dates with a guy I meant on Tinder, and things seemed to be going really well! We had common interests, he was funny, smart, attractive and incredibly kind. One evening he invited me over to his house (we had always had public dates beforehand) and I agreed. The night started out great, he cooked dinner, we watched a movie, and things started to lead towards the bedroom. Before we got there, he asked if he could show me his favourite room in the house. Somewhat confused, I agreed. He opened a door beside his bedroom, and we walked into a baby nursery. Not just any nursery, a nursery with and adult sized crib, changing table, diapers etc. He told me that he was into baby role playing, and would be very happy if I would agree to be his mommy. I’m a very open minded person, but that’s not something I would be able to do for him, and politely excused myself. He messaged me the next day, asking if I would reconsider and I once again politely told him that we could no longer see each other.

32. Things escalated way too quickly.

Went to a local cafe, date went well until she flipped the crazy switch. She started inquiring when we would get and apartment together, as well as have children. Also, how many children we would have. She ended up messaging every day, multiple times a day wondering why I didn’t want to talk to her. I ended up calling her and just telling her it wasn’t going to work. She flipped and told me our relationship was built in lies and she was breaking up with me…. we went on one date.

33. I can’t believe this is a real story.

Had a girl come over who was first of all shoeless, proceeded to brag and laugh about recently glitter bombed EVERYTHING in her ex’s house, and talked about how she doesn’t vaccinate her kids and hates western medicine.

She went on to talk about how her kids are basically falling apart and going blind and having ear issues and what not. Tried to make herself at home and sleep on the couch within like 20 minutes of being there. I turned into ultra nice chatty guy to annoy her into leaving but not being able to hate me, that I just had a bad quality she couldn’t stand. Finally got her out the door and asked her why she wasn’t wearing shoes since she walked through the street and my driveway through snow and ice and she said that shoes were confining and she didn’t need to be in a prison.

34. A very close scare.

We had met briefly before, and she stopped by my house before we went out to eat, as she apparently lived close by.

We spoke for like 90 seconds then she asked to use my bathroom.

She must’ve been in there for a an hour. I knocked to see if she was ok and she didn’t answer. After a while I knocked again, a little worried that she’d fainted in my bathroom or something.

After like 5 or 10 minutes of knocking on the door, and her not replying, I was getting worried.

I had sudden fear that she was deaf or something and hadn’t told me, and couldn’t hear me, so I tried to call her phone, and I would hear it ring once inside and vibrate, then get muted. I was very confused and worried.

But I could still sort of hear her moving around on the other side of the door.

I was at that point even saying stuff like “uh, look, if something… embarrassing has happened in there, just don’t worry about it, just let me know you’re ok, and I’ll pass you in whatever you need” – just no reply.

I started opening the door from the outside with a screwdriver, panicking, and just as I got the door open, she just quietly said “occupied”, like you might say in a public bathroom.

I opened the door and she was standing in front of the mirror, doing something with her make up, but didn’t seem to be actually wearing any make up. Having been in the bathroom for like an hour.

I was like “What the h***?” And she was just like “are we late for dinner?”

35. Why is this person on Tinder?

Showed up to the date and the girl was pregnant, VERY pregnant. Like holy crap how did you get here on your own, should I be worried about your water breaking any minute pregnant.

No mention of her being pregnant anywhere on her profile, not even a hint about it.

36. This is just weird.

Met with a girl and we actually started dating. She always seemed awkwardly close to her brother, and after three months she says: “I can’t hide it anymore, will you have a three way with me and [brother]? I’ve been looking on tinder for willing guys forever.”

No, I didn’t.

37. This guy never got the message.

Went out with a guy and I wasn’t really feeling it. For some reason he was really into me and became visibly angry at the end of the date when I wouldn’t kiss him. After that he sent me 10-12 messages a day through tinder, text, Snapchat and eventually he found other social media. He never said or did anything threatening but he always was just like “hey” OVER AND OVER AGAIN. As if I’m going to answer the 57th time in a row!

38. I burst out laughing at this one.

She was 70 I was 18 at the time. Reason being the obvious huge age gap.

39. I want to laugh and cry at the same time.

I literally had a guy lean in to kiss me and s*** his pants. He was like “it feels really warm in my underwear for some reason”. Then I could smell what seemed to be a baby diaper. He ran into the bathroom and said he’d be free balling the rest of the night.

40. I hope she charged him for that.

I feel like I tell this story on here all the time, but once upon a time I went out with a guy who got wine drunk at Olive Garden and then in a drunk rage punched the windshield out of my car when I offered to drive him home because he was belligerent.

41. I can’t believe he said this.

Went to get drinks with a guy who seemed very nice, had great conversation, and about an hour into the date puts his drink down and says “You know, you’re kind of pretty, I can’t imagine how super hot you’ll be once I get you in the gym and you lose about 30 ponds.”

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By Cedric Jackson
hi@sbly.com
Cedric Jackson is a contributor at SBLY Media.
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