50+ hilarious "dream home" photos by Real Estate agents that are so bad they're good

Trying to sell a house can be tricky. You have to hire a real estate agent and go through mountains of paperwork. Then you have to post photos online and make sure you get the word out that you’re selling. Then, of course, you have to find prospective buyers and settle on a good deal. A qualified real estate agent can help you do all those things. Of course, if your house needs some TLC, there’s only so much even they can do.

Houses go through a lot over the years, especially with multiple owners. If you’ve ever browsed through online real estate listings, you know that you can find some seriously weird stuff. From decor disasters to homes that would be better demolished, there’s no end to the oddities. Real estate agents have to roll with what they’re given. That means showing their client’s house off in the best possible light and scoring them a good deal.

There’s a reason that real estate agents make a lot of money. They have to deal with some of the most bizarre, ugly, and disgusting houses out there. Here are 55 of the worst real estate photos of all time.

1. Don’t forget to mow the pool!

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A pool is always an attractive thing to prospective home buyers. So is a lovely garden where you can spend time enjoying the sunshine. This home has the best of both worlds in one.

2. Pig not included.

This one prompts so many questions. Is that a pet pig that’s allowed to sleep on the couch? Why did they leave it in the photo? Or, is that pig the owner who refused to move out of the picture?

3. I wonder what that graffiti could possibly say.

What a lovely kitchen! It looks like a perfect place to cook a nice dinner for your family. Well, except not everything about the kitchen is family-friendly. I guess it’s possible the graffiti doesn’t say what I think it does.

4. You probably won’t get murdered here. Probably.

Real estate agents try to capture the best features of a property and show it in good light for prospective buyers. That begs the question: is an abandoned bicycle in a dimly-lit corner the best feature of this house?

5. At least they got rid of the body before taking the photo.

So many questions come to mind when looking at this photo. Unfortunately, we really don’t want to know the answers to any of them. I do want to know what that stain could possibly be but I really don’t want to think about the possibilities.

6. Do we want to know why they needed so many?

Having a fire extinguisher in your home is a very wise fire safety measure. Having seven in a single room might be overkill unless you usually set fires in the middle of your living room.

7. When you’ve got to go REALLY urgently…

Remember that old commercial that went, “Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now”? I’m not sure even people with severe irritable bowel syndrome need to stop between flights of stairs to hit the toilet.

8. This room is for the door enthusiast in your life!

Most rooms need one door — two doors at tops. We’re not sure why anyone would need so many doors in a single room. Our only conclusion is that they really, really love them. Or maybe they love Jim Morrison.

9. Don’t try to do it all in one stretch or you’ll pass out.

This house was apparently reconstructed from the bones of an old bowling alley, movie theater, or shopping center. The good news is that you don’t have to go find a track if you want to run laps.

10. I wonder what the owner’s favorite pattern is.

Have you ever loved a pattern so much that you put it on your walls, curtains, bedspread, AND bed skirt? No? Well, this person did and they really want you to know how much they love leaves.

11. In case you need some company on the toilet.

Is this a convenient home library toilet? It looks like a place of comfort where you can curl up with a good book. As long as you’re not bothered by the sound of flushing.

12. On hot days, we just throw all the furniture into the pool.

There’s nothing like enjoying the sunshine while floating in the pool on a wet mattress. Someone should tell these homeowners that pool floats are a thing.

13. This house features a load-bearing fridge.

Sometimes, your deck starts to collapse. Also, you might have an extra fridge laying around. Sometimes, things just work out perfectly.

14. This room is perfect for curling up in front of a fire or practicing demon rituals.

I’m not thrilled about the carpet in here. Why don’t we just roll it up and see what’s underne — OH MY.

15. No, the house doesn’t have central air. Why do you ask?

If your fan looks like it’s melting from the heat, you either need an AC unit or to rethink your taste in fans.

16. For the person who just LOVES to watch themselves on the toilet!

What’s better than one mirror in the bathroom, you ask? No, it’s not two mirrors. It’s A HUNDRED BATHROOM MIRRORS!

17. Versailles meets a Halloween store. And a monkey pirate.

I have many questions about the design of this room, starting with the bizarre poufy pinkness of absolutely everything and ending with the weird mannequins, including the monkey dressed as a pirate.

18. In this house, they’re always dining al fresco.

In our imagination, this house belongs to an eccentric botanist who loves his work so much, he wants to be reminded of it at all times. Even while he’s eating his morning cereal.

19. “Am I in the frame?”

Jim thought he ducked out of the way of the realtor’s camera in time. When they went to upload the photo, they realized their mistake. But it was too late. They didn’t have another photo of that particular doorway.

20. The owners just love giving options.

Is this like the fine dining of bathrooms, with your choice of a toilet? Or, is it supposed to let multiple people go to the bathroom at once? You decide which one is less upsetting.

21. Fine china, a stocked liquor cabinet, and Jesus arm-wrestling Satan.

Really, it’s not asking what this living room has but what DOESN’T it have? Everything here makes this the perfect room for relaxing, or drinking, or whatever.

22. Have you ever been so fed up with laundry you just decided to move?

Usually, when you’re taking photos of your home for a real estate listing, you try to clean up a little bit to show the house off to its best advantage. This homeowner decided to keep it a little more real.

23. This room is perfect for a cozy den, or a terrifying doll museum.

This is really just one suggestion for this room. If you want to switch things up a little, you can also add all sorts of creepy things. Branch out and be creative.

24. Sad chair not included in the sale.

If you like staring out the window and brooding over the sadder parts of life, this is the perfect room for you. Apparently, the current homeowner is a fan of doing just that.

25. That mermaid should get those checked.

Most mermaids are depicted with a modest seashell bra, but not this one. She’s gone for a more natural look, and her proportions are … a little worrying.

26. The sellers decided to be upfront about their bat infestation.

Most people don’t want bats in their home. But let’s all be on the same page: this house comes with bats. We’re not even pretending it doesn’t. Bats are included.

27. So we’re guessing there’s limited storage space…

These sellers have amazing insight. I actually wanted to know what this room would look like with a pile of haphazard chairs and a bare bed. Talk about anticipating needs!

28. Sometimes, we just leave the front doors open, too.

When welcoming guests to our home, we give them the chance to go to the bathroom right away. But there’s no door. Well, there’s a door, but there’s no door.

29. I wonder if they like Marilyn Monroe.

There are interests and then there are obsessions that take over your life …and sometimes, your decor. Judge for yourself if these homeowners crossed that line.

30. But it’s got good bones, probably.

You see a black mold problem that is overtaking the entire room with a potential to cause serious health issues. We see that’s actually A LOT mold.

31. Perfect for history and gym buffs alike.

Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos
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Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos

There’s nothing like doing some reps while your suits of armor look on. It’s not the most traditional decorating choice for a home gym. We have many questions.

32. Take a break from cooking dinner with a visit to the kitchen toilet.

Have you ever been in the middle of making some spaghetti and needed to go to the bathroom so urgently that you wished you had a toilet right there in the kitchen? No? It must just be these homeowners.

33. No, there’s not a garage. Why do you ask?

Decorating can be difficult. Should you get a fabric couch or a leather one? Put in an armchair or a loveseat? How about a big ol’ car right in the middle of the living room?

34. Step right out of the shower and kick back.

Sometimes, you need to take a break from the stress of showering and kick back in front of the TV. Just remember to dry off before you push any buttons.

35. People with taste match their couch to their walls.

This homeowner is a living example of “stick with what you know.” They loved that pattern … so they decided to use it for everything. No really, they used it for EVERYTHING.

36. There aren’t enough frescoes in modern homes.

If you’ve ever visited a castle in Europe, you’ve probably seen walls covered in paintings. But let’s be honest: it doesn’t look quite as good when it’s in a regular house.

37. Don’t take a wrong turn or you’ll never make it out alive.

This isn’t exactly “Hoarders” but it sure as heck looks like a place that’s tiptoeing on the verge of it. Is it hoarding if you put three times the necessary furniture in every room?

38. Everyone loves having an angry dolphin watch them use the bathroom.

This dolphin is apparently not happy about being the bathroom wall decoration. Just do yourself a favor and avoid his angry gaze while you’re sitting on the toilet. He’ll only pick a fight if you make eye contact.

39. Apparently, they didn’t want to shell out for a crib.

I have multiple theories about this one and I can’t decide which is the most bizarre. Did they put a child in that bed? Was it a luxury doggie bed? Or did it host a sleepwalker prone to wandering into neighbors’ yards?

40. We can’t legally say this house isn’t a crime scene, but it’s got new countertops!

All I can say is that there better be a very convincing story about how that is anything but blood. Then and only then will I consider. Now, where can I rent a floor steamer?

41. So cozy you won’t even notice the walls are gone!

It’s great how this homeowner has their armchair all kicked back and ready to go, as though half the house wasn’t missing. Maybe when they want to take a nap, they snuggle up under that insulation.

42. If you squint, you can just make out the carpet.

Here’s someone else who didn’t think it was worth the time to tidy up a little before the real estate agent showed up. Of course, in their case, it’s actually tidying up a lot.

43. Using the phone on the toilet before it was cool.

Back in Grandma’s day, no one texted in the bathroom. But why stop your conversation just because you had to make a visit to the porcelain throne? Keep it nice and personal with a corded phone.

44. Blood-soaked bedspread and wall decor not included in the sale.

You have to wonder about the absolute minimum effort put into these. Was it really so hard to take the photo from a different angle or remove the disgusting bedspread? Did you think we wouldn’t notice that thing?

45. If you’ve ever needed to shower and make dinner at the same time…

To quote comedian Mike Birbiglia: “Do [women] also love it when your shower’s one foot from your toaster? ‘Cause I got that going on, too.”

46. We don’t talk about what happened to the bear.

This is yet another example of having so many questions and not wanting to know any of the answers. Was this a murder scene or a drunken rave? I’m afraid to learn the truth.

47. This will make for an interesting Thanksgiving with the family.

Just imagine being all together for the holidays, enjoying turkey and cranberry sauce and swapping jokes while the shadow of the stripper wall looms behind you.

48. This bathroom has it all…no toilet?

Some people may appreciate having no toilet in their bathroom although we can’t understand why. This one has it all, a vanity, toilet paper holder, and…no toilet!

49. Please buy our child.

Is it really that hard to move your kid out of the way while you’re taking pictures? Of course, there is that old saying about never waking a sleeping baby. Maybe that was the logic.

50. That’s where they host their morning show.

This living room setup is odd enough that it makes you do a double-take. Are there cameras set up somewhere? Where’s the place in the ceiling for the boom mikes?

51. Nothing like a semiautomatic to offset the pink walls.

Doesn’t everyone have a wall full of guns above their bed? It does a great job matching the lacy pillows and the bubble gum pink wall.

52. We really hope they own a dog.

Part of being a real estate agent is having a great eye for detail. This one obviously has a few things to work on. Is it really that hard to take a quick glance around the floor?

53. That’s the room where they spy on the neighbors.

Oh, this room with the table pushed right up against the window and a single chair set to look out on all the other buildings? That’s nothing. It’s a completely normal room.

54. So…is it in a safe neighborhood?

These are all completely normal things to have in a living room: spin bike, potted plant, suited faceless mannequin…

55. We don’t need the sellers to say anything about themselves, thanks.

In a world where one buck head on the wall is a bit excessive, just imagine the message that 10 sends. I’m guessing these homeowners aren’t vegetarian.

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