The only thing more exhausting than being mansplained to is having to explain to men what it is or answer their questions about whether or not they’re engaging in the behavior.
One heroic woman finally just made a chart to consult so that we can all just save ourselves some time and frustration.
Kim Goodwin is the author of the bestselling book Designing for the Digital Age. She’s also a consultant who does work in a number of male-dominated industries, such as aviation and consumer electronics, so she encounters mansplaining quite frequently.
After having to have one too many conversations with her male colleagues about whether or not they were mansplaining to her, she took to Twitter.
And the chart is a thing of beauty:
In easy-to-follow, no-nonsense fashion, Goodwin starts out with the ever-important first question: Did she ask you to explain it?
Most mansplainers could stop there since mansplaining relates to topics that women already know about and typically have to do with their areas of expertise.
But just in case a person doesn’t get the hint, she keeps going. It’s a great illustration of just how insulting it is to assume that a woman with a background on the topic in question who didn’t ask for an explanation needs male input on the matter.
Now, of course there are women who participate in this type of behavior as well, but mansplaining refers to a very specific phenomenon here that has to do with gender roles and the assumption that men have more expertise.
You’ll notice that unless a woman specifically asks for a man’s input on a topic she knows about, that man is encouraged to step back. In circumstances when a man might be unaware of his female conversation partner’s expertise, he should ask first if an explanation would be appropriate before he launches into a full-on lecture.
It’s not hard, it’s just basic respectful behavior that some men don’t grant to women.
And you’ll notice that no one’s making the accusation against all men. Of course, that didn’t stop men from responding with accusations of sexism. Sigh.
While there’s nothing amazing about receiving this kind of response from overly sensitive people, what’s truly commendable is the patience and tact that Goodwin used to further explain what she was trying to accomplish (since they asked).
And, alas, more men chimed in with the assumption that they were all under investigation for mansplaining.
By the way, when you’re dealing with a woman, it’s best not to use the word “girl,” since that’s an infantilizing term. It’s not the end of the world, but you should expect to be called out on it.
Some responses contained genuine questions, even if they somewhat missed the point.
But Goodwin took the time, since they asked, to explain why not all instances of a man explaining something to a woman constitute mansplaining.
Still, some were left confused and continued to ask for clarification.
And Goodwin continued to patiently respond in the spirit of education for one and all.
Of course, the post received some toxic responses, but those aren’t worth posting. But it was nice to see that men noted the reactions.
Of course, the topic hit home among women readers who experience mansplaining on a regular basis and they applauded Goodwin’s efforts to patiently and clearly explain.
And there was definitely interest in getting it distributed in permanent form for those moments when you just need to break out a flowchart instead of taking the time to explain gender relations and respectful behavior to your colleagues.
And some extremely self-aware men knew exactly what needed to be done with the flowchart (though we’re not sure about that bottom title).
Kudos on the chart rolled in from plenty of men and hopefully enlightened some people along the way.
And Goodwin’s patience and friendliness were noted.
The original Tweet received 126K likes, but also around 3,500 comments, and Goodwin took time to answer many of the questions posed soon after it went viral.
You know, since they asked.
Watch video below.
Please SHARE this with your friends and family.
