Whether you’ve been married or not, you’ve likely heard stories and jokes about mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. Fortunately, most get along just fine. But there are occasions when things not only get uncomfortable but also downright nasty.
Why all the ruckus?
Sometimes, issues have to do with cultural differences. But other times, they’re because a mother-in-law doesn’t think her son’s new wife is doing a good enough job. When that happens, these women can overstep their bounds.
Listen up, husbands
You can be a “mommy’s boy” but remember, when you get married, your primary allegiance shifts to your spouse. That doesn’t mean you love or care for your mom any less just that now it’s your turn to be an independent adult who stands by his wife.
Not welcomed
Recently, a mother-in-law shared a story and shockingly, most readers are on her side. As she explained, her 22-year-old son, Jackson, recently moved into their house along with his new wife, Amanda. The mother made it clear to her son that she doesn’t like his wife.
Doomed from the start
That was bad enough. But this mother-in-law goes on to say that Amanda doesn’t like the nightly ritual she shares with her son. You see, Jackson works as an attorney. So, after a long day at work, his mom fixes him a drink and removed his shoes for him. What?
Not seeing eye to eye
From Amanda’s viewpoint, Jackson’s mom was trying to play the wife role, which was hers. Even though the mother-in-law knows how bad this upsets Amanda, she doesn’t care. Her words, “she can scoff all she wants.” In this woman’s eyes, Jackson was her son long before he became Amanda’s husband.
Things became verbal
One night following the ritual, Amanda became quite upset. So, she asked her mother-in-law if what she was doing was setting a good example for Jackson’s 16-year-old sister. The mother-in-law responded with, “Yes, I hope my daughter grows up to be a good partner.”
Speaking up
Amanda desperately wanted to say something but she also wanted to be careful knowing an argument would only make things worse. But she did tell her mother-in-law that the nightly ritual with her husband made her feel incredibly uncomfortable.
Involving the father-in-law
The mother-in-law wasn’t going to let Amanda have the last word. Her response, “It’s alright if you’re uncomfortable, but ultimately, I get to be comfortable in my own house. My husband said he’d be uncomfortable too, living rent free in someone else’s house.”
Jackson’s not very happy
At this point, Jackson is mad at both his mom and his wife. His mother explains that Jackson and his father have never had a good relationship. She also advises her son that perhaps it’s time that he talk to his wife about fundamental manners.
The verdict
People who read about this dilemma had the opportunity to weigh in with comments. One individual stated, “As long as you’re impressing on your daughter-in-law that good partners come in all different forms and as long as she and her husband are happy and healthy, then it’s all good.
On the other hand, some readers thought the mother-in-law was being hypocritical. This person said, “I would be just as creeped out as Amanda, but she should’ve held her tongue. You’re also the older adult but for some reason, you felt it was important to let your son know that you didn’t like his wife.”
Honestly, we can see both sides. But when two people become husband and wife, the mother/mother-in-law need to respect that they’re young adults who are learning. So, be patient and show kindness. As for Jackson, stand up for your wife while being kind to your mother.
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Source: The Stir, Mommy Bites
