How much of a punchline can you fit into 280 characters? It’s not a lot of words to work with, however, these users on Twitter proved it is definitely possible to crack a joke on the platform. The unexpected endings to their Tweets had everyone online dying of laughter. Once you see what they wrote, you’ll understand why.
From the classic boyfriend disses to the guy who got caught by his boss smoking weed outside the office, these Tweets are absolutely hilarious. They will take you by complete surprise. Yes, they start out normal enough, but the endings are when the real punchlines start dropping.
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Spaced_Cowboy00
1. Amazing Amazon
The Amazon rainforest is one of the most beautiful places in the world. It does beg the question though, which came first, the rainforest or the website? We’ll have to ask Jeff Bezos.
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KeetPotato
2. Nervous Jumper
Bungee jumping can be very stressful. It can cause you to do all sorts of things out of nervousness. Some people bite their nails. Others lick lips.
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FrenulumBreve
3. Intelligence Increase
It’s obvious that this guy is a fan of video games. Hopefully, his fiancé isn’t. If she realizes the new powers that she gained from the ring, it might come back to haunt him later.
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pleatedjeans
4. Meeting The Family
It’s always fun when the family gets to meet your partner for the first time. You never know how they are going to react. You just hope it goes well and pray for the best.
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DanMentos
5. Open Mike Night
Open mic night is a classic event at coffee shops and bookstores all around the country. How about “open mike night” though? It turns out, it is a little different.
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Diversion50
6. Grown Up Behavior
It’s not easy growing up. Being an adult just isn’t as much fun as being a kid. Although, sometimes you just have to give in, especially if it’s your wife criticizing you.
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iwearaonesie
7. Shouty Museum Man
Do not touch the displays. Everyone knows that it is the number one rule when visiting a museum. At least, almost everyone…
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Dawn_M_
8. Genetically Modified Carrots
It’s important to know where the food you are eating came from. Otherwise, you might end up with some toxic radioactive vegetable, or even worse… it could be genetically modified!
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TheToddWilliams
9. Morning Hater
What face do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning? Is it the face of a winner or the face of a loser? This guy definitely leans towards one of these extremes more than the other.
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pakalupapito
10. Intimate Touching
She thinks about him all of the time. She even touches herself while she does it. Although, it might not be in the way that the guy hopes.
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1MeLrO
11. Bee Sting
It’s a husband’s duty to protect his wife from danger. It’s a tradition as old as time. However, protection can mean different things to different people.
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ruinedpicnic
12. Almost Got Caught
It’s common courtesy to say “bless you” after someone sneezes. It’s just being polite. However, in certain situations, it’s better to say nothing.
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kylegotjokes
13. Only Child
Being raised as an only child has its positives and its negatives. It means you get a lot of attention. However, there are some downsides too.
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WheelTod
14. The Power Of Music
Some people like pop music and some people don’t. However, if one thing is for sure, it’s how powerful some of the songs can be. They can make you feel all sorts of strange feelings and do things you wouldn’t normally do.
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jordanboodie
15. Adventurous Sex
When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it’s important to mix things up in the bedroom. Otherwise, the sex can get kind of stale. For some people, that even means taking things outside of the bedroom.
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pleatedjeans
16. Tough Decision
There are some decisions that you make that can affect a lot of people — decisions like whether or not to have kids. No matter what you choose, there’s bound to be someone who disagrees with the choice.
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Cpin42
17. Concerns About Alcohol
Admitting you are an alcoholic is tough to do. You might be judged or you might not. Really, it depends on the audience.
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DanMentos
18. Easily Forgettable
Once you’ve dated someone for a long time, it’s hard to let them go. They will always occupy a place in your mind. Unless, of course, they don’t.
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pakalupapito
19. Awkward Goodbye
It’s not easy saying goodbye. Trying to decide what to do can be really awkward. Do you give a hug, a kiss, a handshake, or something else entirely?
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generaldietz
20. Crying Baby
One of the most annoying things on a plane is when a baby is crying and screaming. It’s very disturbing to the passengers who are trying to relax. It’s even worse when the baby is sitting next to you though.
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mommyshorts
21. Guard Dog
Dogs always like to sound the alert when an intruder enters the home. They instantly notice anything that is out of the ordinary. However, their sense of judgment isn’t exactly perfect.
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KeetPotato
22. Lost Son
When you’re a little kid, it’s easy to get lost. That’s why it’s important to always stick close to your parents. They’ll protect you, right?
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david8hughes
23. Sexual Fantasy
Everyone has different sexual fantasies. We are all unique individuals. Although, some people’s fantasies are definitely more kinky than others.
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ChloeAngyal
24. Nice Gesture
Opening a car door for someone is a very nice thing to do. It shows that you have a lot of respect for that person. At least, in most situations…
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BradBroaddus
25. Grief Therapy
When a loved one passes, therapy is one of the best ways to work through it. It can help you to understand what happened and get some things off of your chest.
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david8hughes3
26. Changing The Baby
Dealing with a newborn baby can be very challenging. A lot of parents wish there was an easier way. Luckily, this man has a really creative solution.
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jonnysun
27. Volunteer Work
Fans love it when sports teams do good in the world. There are all sorts of volunteer activities that the teams can get involved in. Although, sometimes it’s debatable who needs the most help.
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PeterNurse1
28. Word Swap
How words are capitalized can change the meaning of a phrase. This Twitter user has a prime example of what capitalization can do. We have to agree, the two sentences are very different.
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thenatewolf
29. Sending A Message
There is more than one way to send a message. According to mafia bosses, the best way to get your point across is with violence or a horse’s head. That’s what they do in all of the movies.
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KeetPotato
30. Shoulder Massage
Everyone likes a good massage. It’s a great way to relax the muscles. People, animals, and even inanimate objects can all appreciate the feeling.
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Cpin42
31. Baby Pictures
One way to endear yourself with coworkers is to compliment pictures of their kids. It could have some unexpected results though. You have to be careful about what you say.
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pleatedjeans
32. Tropical Scent
They say that if you lose one of your senses, your other senses get heightened. For example, if you can’t see, you might be able to smell or hear really good. The downside is it’s also easier to get tricked by people.
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Ch4BrickTamland
33. Good In Bed
Different people have different ideas of what it means to be “good in bed”. If you ask a bunch of men and women, you’ll probably get a wide variety of answers. This guy’s answer is one of the funniest.
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Spaced_Cowboy00
34. Funeral Etiquette
There are a lot of etiquette rules at funerals. It’s a delicate occasion and it’s really hard to know what you should or shouldn’t say. You don’t want to offend anyone.
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KeetPotato
35. Counterfeit Bills
A lot of businesses don’t like to break big bills. Especially if you are trying to pay with a fifty or a hundred for something that costs a few dollars. It’s annoying for the cashiers, not to mention the counterfeit money concerns…
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BlindChow
36. Cheating Spouse
It’s extremely hard to be honest about infidelity in a relationship. You never know how the other person is going to react. There is a wide array of possible responses, some bad, and some even worse.
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ruinedpicnic
37. Sex Break
There are few things worth interrupting sex for. However, there are some rare events that can definitely justify a pause in the action. Hopefully, both partners are on the same page about it.
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msdanifernandez
38. Crying Diner
What would you do if you were out at a restaurant and saw someone get stood up by their date at the table next to you. Would you laugh, ignore them, or go over to say something like this guy did?
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pleatedjeans
39. Surprise Visit
Leaving work early to surprise your husband or wife is a very lovely thing to do. It’s a very thoughtful action. Although, there are multiple ways that the situation can be interpreted.
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TheBoydP
40. Enjoyable Evening
It’s okay if you and your partner have differing opinions. You aren’t going to agree on everything. Sometimes you have to make compromises to keep each other happy.
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hippieswordfish
41. Car Rules
This man has some very straightforward rules for riding in his car. At least, they start off pretty typical. They get progressively crazier afterward.
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pleatedjeans
42. Married Sexting
A couple’s sex life changes after getting married. That’s what everyone says. Here is just one example of how things might change.
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WilliamRodgers
43. Getting Kittens
When it comes to decisions, there is always one person in a relationship that has a little more influence than the other one. Perfect equality is hard to achieve. Eventually, someone is likely to submit.
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JustinGuarini
44. Cherished Memories
There are some memories that stick with us more than others. Normally, they involve emotional moments with the people that we love. However, not always.
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KeetPotato
45. Texting A Crush
One of the best things in the world is texting back and forth with a new crush. It is so exciting. What are they going to say next?
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pakalupapito
46. Surprise Proposal
What is the most romantic way to pop the question? Does asking while on the Eiffel Tower and watching a sunset count? It turns out, it depends on what question one is asking.
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EndhooS
47. Fisherman Saying
Have you ever heard of that saying about teaching a man to fish? It’s one of the all-time classics. It imparts a valuable life lesson.
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DanMentos
48. Conjugal Visit
If your spouse is in jail, it’s your right to have a conjugal visit. That’s how many jails operate. Although, you should probably think long and hard about when to actually exercise that right.
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Cpin42
49. Gay Marriage Bill Passed
Depending on your political leanings, gay marriage might enrage you or make you extremely happy. This guy falls on the far end of the spectrum. Just see for yourself.
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pleatedjeans
50. Playing With Legos
Kids love putting things up their noses. Sometimes, it’s a finger. Other times, it’s an object like a Lego.
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EndhooS
51. Innocent Man
You are what you eat. We’ve all heard the saying before. But how does that apply in the courtroom? That is the real question.
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BRENTHOR
52. Breaking Up
When you break up with someone, it’s best to get out of their house quick before the arguments or crying starts. Just jump on your motorcycle, start it up, and flee the scene! That’s the ideal strategy.
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thenatewolf
53. Three Wishes
Whenever you find a genie in a bottle, you get three wishes. That’s how the story goes. Choose wisely though, because once you make the wishes, there’s no changing your mind.
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KeetPotato
54. Spider Phobia
A lot of people have a fear of spiders. It’s a pretty common phobia. Just the thought of them crawling around makes some of us very nervous.
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EndhooS
55. Magical In Bed
We could all use a little magic in the bedroom. It’s one of the greatest pleasures of life. Especially when your partner does something to surprise you.
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ProdigyNelson
56. Top Numbers
This ranking of top numbers is not what you would expect. One is number one, and two is number two, of course, but how about number five?
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hippieswordfish
57. Important Dreams
It’s so important to follow your dreams. At the end of the day, your dreams are all you have. You don’t want to let them slip away.
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pakalupapito
58. Place To Crash
Offering a friend a place to crash is common courtesy. It just means that you care about them. Sometimes, it’s offering up a couch, other times, it’s offering up a backyard.
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vineyille
59. Sobriety Test
Getting pulled over by a cop is never fun. What’s even worse though is when they ask you to do a DUI test. Nothing good can ever come from that.
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SconesMortensen
60. Same Shirt
It can be very awkward when you and another person are wearing the same shirt. However, it’s bound to happen every once and a while. There are only so many shirts out there to choose from.
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KeetPotato
61. Everyone Dies
Breaking bad news to kids is always tough. Things like telling them Santa doesn’t exist or that everyone dies one day. Normally, it’s the parents that handle letting the kids know, but not always.
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Cpin42
62. New Single
Are you as excited for this man’s new single as we are? He has some of the best jokes on Twitter. He always has us totally cracking up.
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pakalupapito
63. Sister’s Funeral
Funerals are painful. There are a whole lot of negatives. However, for this woman, there is at least one positive.
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aveuaskew
64. Grocery Shopping
What would you do if you saw a kid crying in the grocery store? For this man, shopping is an in and out affair. He doesn’t have time for nonsense like crying kids.
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pleatedjeans
65. Dropped Baby
People don’t like it when you drop babies. Why not, you might ask? Well, we have a few ideas…
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thenatewolf
66. Sex Ed
Sexual education is one of the most joked about classes growing up. It’s a learning experience for the kids, but there is also a lot of room for humor when covering the topic.
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Brampersandon_
67. Custody Hearing
It’s a game of hot potato with the baby. That’s how family court feels sometimes. You never know what the judge is going to say next.
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pleatedjeans
68. Remembering The Departed
What will people say about you when you die? It’s a question that we all ponder from time to time. Most of us hope that people only say good things.
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david8hughes
69. Lending A Hand
Helping old ladies cross the street is just what gentlemen do. Gentlemen, and creeps that is. Really, it all depends on how you approach the situation.
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thenatewolf
70. Never Came Back
We’ve all heard stories about people’s dads or moms leaving the house one day and never returning. It’s really sad. Although, if it happens to you, just give it time.
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ruinedpicnic
71. Fear Of Clones
We all have our phobias. For some of us, it is clowns. For others, it is clones — people that are identical to us.
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TheToddWilliams
72. Go Deeper
You never want to hear that you aren’t going deep enough. It’s a guys’ worst nightmare. This guy comes up short all of the time though.
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pakalupapito
73. Signature Acquired
Getting an autograph of one of your favorite musicians is a very exciting moment. Normally, you have them sign a picture or a guitar, or something like that. However, a formal document will do as well.
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murrman5
74. Sweet Story
He was so sweet. It was a pleasant change of pace for the woman. Most people aren’t sweet, apparently.
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ShipTale
75. Mindless Horde
A mindless horde is never something that you want to see approaching you. In most cases, it means that the world has ended and there is a zombie apocalypse going on. There are some other explanations though.
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JoiTheBoy
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