Sex & Relationships
The strongest relationships are the ones we don’t flaunt on social media
The most precious moments of a relationship aren't necessarily photographable for your social media profile.
Jessica
10.12.21

Social media has become a huge part of most of our lives – in fact, that’s probably how you got to this article.

We have a tendency to post about everything going on in our lives on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc., whether it’s a meal at a restaurant or an outing with friends. But what about those “I love my significant other soooooo much” posts?

Pexels - Omkar Patyane
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Pexels - Omkar Patyane

A new, albeit small, study suggests that boasting about your relationship on social media may be a sign that things aren’t actually all that they seem.

In a survey of over 2,000 people in a relationship, only 10% of those who posted images of their happy coupledom on social media described their relationship as “very happy.”

On the other hand, 46% of those who didn’t publish relationship posts said their relationships were very happy.

We’re finally learning that social media may not be the best thing for our mental health or relationships. One reason is that social media trains our brains to crave constant validation from our online “friends.”

Pixabay
Source:
Pixabay

But in the end, that can make us obsessive and depressed when we don’t get what we seek.

At one point or another, we’ve all spent too much time trying to get the perfect pic or writing the wittiest caption. And doing so can be fun! The fun parts of it are why we all got so into posting on social media in the first place.

Our time online has trained our brains to constantly expect – and value – positive input from all sorts of people about our lives. It’s become so extreme that many people rely on “likes” and praise-filled comments to be happy.

Pixabay
Source:
Pixabay

This can lead to a damaging thought pattern, where you think that what gets the most likes is better and makes you happier, which isn’t necessarily true.

People go way overboard trying to get the perfect relationship ‘gram.

Pexels - Hoàng Ngọc Long
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Pexels - Hoàng Ngọc Long

From elaborate wedding proposals and gender reveals to over-the-top gift reveals for anniversaries, we think that our love needs to be photograph-friendly. But, oftentimes, people are more preoccupied with doing what will get them the most attention on their social media, and not with nurturing their relationship.

Sometimes people (of all ages!) post about their relationship to overcompensate for what’s missing.

Unsplash - Adam Nieścioruk
Source:
Unsplash - Adam Nieścioruk

All those lovey-dovey posts you keep seeing may not be the whole truth.

When people get too wrapped up in creating the perfect social media life, they might focus more on posting rather than facing the serious relationship problems that need to be addressed.

Pixabay
Source:
Pixabay

According to Psychology Today, this is most true for those over-the-top couple posts.

Gwendolyn Seidman writes:

“Those who are less satisfied may post Facebook content that shows levels of affection that they aren’t displaying in their actual offline relationship. These individuals then believe that engaging in these types of posts has helped their relationship.”

Pixabay
Source:
Pixabay

While it isn’t bad to want your partner to feel special, it’s more important to make them feel special in person, rather than online.

Happy relationships are grown through quality time and attention.

Pixabay
Source:
Pixabay

The precious moments of a relationship are not the ones you can post a picture of on social media.

Those midnight giggle sessions in bed that come out of nowhere? A deep talk that allows you to share your secrets and dreams without judgment? Those things don’t exactly make great Facebook posts.

And, when you’re really caught up in the joys of a happy moment, you most likely won’t even be thinking about social media.

Spending too much time on screens takes away from nurturing a healthy relationship

Contrary to the point in the last paragraph, if you spend too much quality time with your phone, you lose out on moments spent with your significant other. While you are trying to find just the right picture to prove to the world how much you love your partner, they are lonely and waiting for you to just share a nice dinner with you. Being addicting to our phones and online validation can breed resentment in a relationship pretty quickly.

Unsplash - Clem Onojeghuo
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Unsplash - Clem Onojeghuo

There are ways to make your relationship stronger, without social media.

Unsplash - SJ
Source:
Unsplash - SJ

It’s important to do things offline, like planning private time, communicating clearly, being honest, and apologizing and forgiving.

If you do these things, you and your partner won’t even need social media to feel like you have the best relationship in the world!

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

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By Jessica
hi@sbly.com
Jessica is a writer at Shareably.
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