Dating at any age is hard. But if you’re middle age or in your senior years and looking for a new life partner, you may wonder, what’s a lonely person to do?
For hundreds of people in Beijing, the answer is in Changpuhe Park.
The beautiful park, which lies close to the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square, has become a dating ground for people who are in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and even 80s.
Some of them are widowed, some divorced, and just a small percentage have never been married at all. But now, on certain days, they all get together to mingle. They swing dance, have music events, and of course, try to find someone to be their new partner.
And they say despite some of the cultural stereotypes of their generation, they care more about love and affection than you might think.
“Seniors here are not concerned about finding mates of the same social status as themselves,” says one man. “We’re no different from younger folks. We, too, believe in love at first sight. We believe in yuanfen.”
Yuanfen is a unique concept shared by the people who come to the park.
It’s similar to the idea of karma or destiny. It’s a way to describe your destiny with another person, whether that includes a relationship, marriage, or a break-up.
While some have found their future life partner, others haven’t been so lucky — but they still have an eye for spotting couples that have a future together
“Out of 107 couples I’ve introduced, 13 have gotten married,” says Li Yan, a widow who lost her husband in a fishing accident. “They’re all doing extremely well. I’ve done very well for others, but not so well for myself. Although I haven’t had any luck, I’ve met many great sisters here.”
Trying to find a new relationship in middle or old age can be difficult, especially in China, where there are many things to consider, including family ties, money, and social status.
But in spite of it all, the park remains one of the greatest senior hangouts, even drawing people from outside the city looking for a partner in Beijing.
While some people are looking for love, others have realized they simply want to share the last part of their life with someone.
“Everyone told me that, at my age, I shouldn’t keep looking,” said one woman. “But a few years ago, I was very sick, and there was no one to take care of me. That was when I realized that having a significant other is important in a different way as you approach old age.”
It’s not exactly sure how Changpuhe Park, which was completed in 2003, became the dating spot for seniors in Beijing.
But its regulars say it really happened organically, with people simply spreading the word. For dozens of couples now, it provided the scene to set their yuanfen in motion.
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