Life
‘Rent-a-sister’ in Japan is helping coax hermit men from their homes
At least half a million young men in Japan are thought to have withdrawn from society, and refuse to leave their bedrooms. They’re known as hikikomori. These women are trying to help.
Elijah Chan
07.08.24

Hikikomori, a phenomenon primarily affecting young men in Japan, is a situation where individuals completely withdraw from society, often staying confined to their bedrooms for years or even decades.

This lifestyle choice, or rather a forced existence due to various societal pressures, has created a significant social issue in Japan.

Estimates suggest that around 4 million people in Japan fall under the category of hikikomori, with the majority being men aged between 18 and 35.

The severity of this issue calls for specialized interventions to help these individuals reconnect with society.

Pexels - Tomáš Malík
Source:
Pexels - Tomáš Malík

One such intervention comes in the form of “rental sisters,” a unique initiative employed by the organization New Start.

These women, although not medically trained, are hired to help coax hikikomori out of their isolation.

For a monthly fee of about 100,000 yen (just under $900), they make weekly visits, patiently working to build a connection and encourage social reintegration.

The role of rental sisters is crucial as they offer a bridge between complete isolation and gradual engagement with the outside world.

Pexels - Haugenzhays Zhang
Source:
Pexels - Haugenzhays Zhang

Take Kenta, for instance.

A hikikomori in his late 20s, Kenta retreated into isolation after being bullied at school.

His story could have remained one of ongoing solitude, but Ayaka, a rental sister, stepped in.

For the past six months, Ayaka has been working diligently with Kenta, helping him move out of his parents’ home and slowly start participating in societal activities.

Her patient and non-judgmental approach has made a significant difference in Kenta’s journey towards reintegration.

YouTube Screenshot - BBC News
Source:
YouTube Screenshot - BBC News

Similarly, Mr. Haruto’s son has been a hikikomori for two decades, retreating into isolation during his teenage years.

Despite experiencing violent outbursts and refusing medical help, Mr. Haruto sought assistance from New Start.

Atsuko, an experienced rental sister, now visits his son regularly.

While his son still refuses to leave his room or engage fully, the consistent and gentle presence of Atsuko offers a glimmer of hope.

The efforts of rental sisters like Ayaka and Atsuko highlight the importance of trust and patience in helping hikikomori individuals.

YouTube Screenshot - BBC News
Source:
YouTube Screenshot - BBC News

The work of rental sisters often involves months or even years of dedication before noticeable progress is made.

Their gentle, non-judgmental approach is key to making their clients feel understood and supported.

By building trust and providing consistent support, they help hikikomori individuals gradually regain confidence and the ability to engage with society.

This slow, empathetic process is critical in addressing the deep-rooted issues that lead to such extreme withdrawal.

YouTube Screenshot - BBC News
Source:
YouTube Screenshot - BBC News

New Start also operates a dormitory as a halfway house for recovering hikikomori.

Residents of this dormitory must adhere to strict rules, such as giving up their phones, avoiding computer games, and engaging in part-time work and volunteering.

This structured environment helps them develop life skills and reestablish routines that are crucial for independent living.

Impressively, about 80% of the 2,000 people who have lived in the dormitory over the past 18 years have managed to reintegrate into society.

YouTube Screenshot - BBC News
Source:
YouTube Screenshot - BBC News

One inspiring story of transformation is that of Iko, who became a hikikomori due to societal pressures.

After moving into the New Start dormitory, Iko met Ayako, a rental sister.

With her encouragement, Iko began to work as a rental brother, aiding others in similar situations.

Their relationship blossomed, and they eventually married.

Their marriage not only symbolizes hope and recovery but also demonstrates that former hikikomori can lead fulfilling and productive lives.

YouTube Screenshot - BBC News
Source:
YouTube Screenshot - BBC News

Professor Tamaki Saito, a leading expert on hikikomori, suggests that this condition is a form of social exclusion prevalent in Japan and is becoming an issue in other countries as well.

Recognizing the global implications, the Japanese government is working to better understand the phenomenon.

New Start’s rental sisters have already helped about 3,000 individuals reintegrate into society, highlighting the effectiveness of this compassionate approach.

YouTube Screenshot - BBC News
Source:
YouTube Screenshot - BBC News

Despite the challenges they face, hikikomori individuals often possess unique, gentle qualities and a fair perspective on society.

Those who have worked closely with them emphasize these positive attributes.

By focusing on the empathetic and patient work of rental sisters and the gradual recovery of hikikomori, there is a light of hope for those affected.

This ongoing effort offers a glimpse into how dedicated support can make a profound difference in the lives of individuals who have chosen, or felt forced, to withdraw from the world.

Watch the full video below.

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