For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this. For those of you not old enough, you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean, and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one linerโs from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.
RED SKELTONโS RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. She saidโฆ โSomewhere I havenโt been in a long time!โ So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said โThere are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!โ So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasnโt running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, โIn the lake.โ
8. She got a mud-pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, โAm I too late for the garbage?โ The driver said, โNo, jump in!โ
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didnโt know her first name was Always.
12. I havenโt spoken to my wife in 18 months. I donโt like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, โWhatโs on the TV?โ I said, โDust!โ
Canโt you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were the good old days when humor didnโt have to start with a four letter wordโฆ It was just clean and simple fun.
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