Most of us dream of finding our special someone and riding off into the sunset with them to live happily ever after in wedded bliss.
And lots of the time it’s like that.
Love, after all, is the greatest thing on earth. But married life can get downright weird, and gross, and kind of boring, while also cozily comfortable. It’s not always lovey dovey and hot and steamy all the time. Some of the time, but not all of the time.
Lots of the time it’s just like living with your best friend. If you need a glimpse into what marriage is like, you’ll want to check out the examples below to get a true taste of married life.
1) You Get to Watch Your Spouse Sleep
Which is both creepy and beautiful at the same time.
2) Most Arguments Are About Money or Whose Doing Laundry or Cleaning the Toilet
About 90 percent of them.
3) Trust Issues Don’t Often Involve Infidelity
It involves who ate the last brownie.
4) Eventually, You Pee With the Door Open
This usually happens around somewhere in between you getting engaged and taking out a mortgage.
5) The Majority of Your Relationship Revolves Around Food
Specifically, discussing what you’re going to eat for dinner via text.
6) Acts of True Love Are Simple
And involve things like popping the pimples on your spouse’s back that they can’t reach.
7) Seducing Your Spouse is Easy as Pie
This involves letting them sleep in late or bringing them baked goods.
8) Sleep = Currency
You can trade it for chores, sex, and various other commodities.
9) Lingerie Becomes a Thing of the Past
Married people are just happy to be in bed. Being naked is a bonus.
10) Husbands Have Pictures of Tampon Boxes in Their Cell Phones
That’s so they don’t buy the wrong ones at the store and have to go back.
11) Using the Towels Set Aside for Guests is a Serious Offense
Dry off at your own risk and suffer the consequences.
12) You Have to Work Together
Partnership in marriage involves passing your spouse some toilet paper when they are stranded on the john without it.
13) Invest in a Very Large Blanket
We’re pretty sure most divorces happen because of small blankets.
14) There is One Forever Lasting Unspoken Competition You Will Always Be In
And that is who your children love more, you or your spouse. Hint: moms usually win every time.
15) Sex Always Begins the Same Way
16) Men Learn Why They Need to Put the Seat Down the Hard Way
When their wife is screaming from the bathroom at 3 a.m. because they fell in.
17) You Share Everything
Except for your toothbrush. That is yours and yours alone.
18) You Look Out For Each Other
Which means you make sure your spouse doesn’t look fat or weird in their Facebook photos.
19) One of You is on a Diet… the Other is Not
And is eating something that you can’t eat.
20) Prepare BEFORE You Assemble Ikea Furniture
It’s best to call the marriage counselor ahead of time to book that appointment you’re inevitably going to need.
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