We all have different ways of dealing with perpetual boredom. One highly proactive way you can approach time in isolation is to pick up a new skill or hobby. A popular choice for people during this time is to pick up baking for the first time and expand their repertoire of kitchen skills.
The problem is…it’s not quite as easy as it seems. Enjoy, 50 slides of people’s quarantine baking fails. and DON’T get any ideas!
— Heidi Allen (@heidiallen75) March 28, 2020
1) This bread got the chop!
Now it’s one thing to over-bake bread, but it’s another thing altogether to produce break that can withstand an axe chop. They should get hold of your recipe to make bullet-proof vests!
— shambles klutz (@shamblesklutz) April 19, 2020
2) These rolls have got the distancing thing down!
Well it would seem like “overnight baking”, may not be the best way to get those soft tasty rolls you’re trying to bake, but if you want rock hard, pitch black golf balls instead, that’s how you do it! Similarly if you’re trying to demonstrate social distancing, that’s the way to go!
My friend Zam, editor of the first 3 River Cottage series, has been doing a bit of “overnight baking”. Consequently his bread rolls detected some risk to their well-being and made the decision to start social distancing… pic.twitter.com/ACFNDDRDok
— Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall (@HughFW) March 31, 2020
3) Well, she’s got the spirit, but she’s a bit confused
It’s all good and well using tray liners to bake your muffins. Problem is, you kind of need the try to line! Otherwise what do you get? Well, you get puffy muffin textured cookies…but at least they’re in liners!
When making muffins, one must remember to put the liners in a muffin tin! 🤣
Guys, my Mom sucks, I mean she really sucks at baking!!!! I love with this woman, send help! pic.twitter.com/ENbpxuKoLo
— 💙🐾Beetle & Bailey🐾💙 (@BeetleBMD) April 1, 2020
4) That’s lights-out for a lighthouse!
#StayAtHome & be productive.
How do you think they turned out? pic.twitter.com/kKmB07XPmB
— Justice Seeker is sheltering at home ☮️ (@tizzywoman) March 28, 2020
5) Baking is not for everybody
Remember kids, if you’re baking for the first time, follow the instructions VERY carefully. Any number of things can go wrong for the unexperienced. Think of recipes as parachutes! Otherwise your scones, can become stones.
So like many people at home I tried my hand at baking today. They’re meant to be scones btw ! 🤷🏻♂️ pic.twitter.com/dbx4DMGTIT
— Miles Briggs MSP (@MilesBriggsMSP) April 7, 2020
6) Is this how Oreos were invented?
Not sure if these are burnt to a crisp, or simply trying to fit in with the whole “activated charcoal” fad. something tells me however, it’s probably the former. Youch!
— Heidi Allen (@heidiallen75) March 28, 2020
7) You can teach an old dog new tricks…
But can you teach an old bread maker to make new bread? No. You cannot, it would seem. You can try, but you may just end up with a pile of…whatever that is.
Tried out my 30 year old bread making machine today. Didn’t go well pic.twitter.com/TvRmLcEgPb
— Cecily Tynan (@CecilyTynan) March 22, 2020
8) Mmmm, maybe baking isn’t for you…
I mean, look, if you want to bake scorched hockey pucks, I will not stand in your way. It’s hard to tell if these were originally made with oats, or if that’s just the texture you get when you roast cookies to within an inch of their life.
Sorry I haven’t posted in a while; I’ve been baking pic.twitter.com/wS59AONAlY
— Jacq the Stripper (@JacqTheStripper) April 4, 2020
9) Well Tommy, you try it then!
You have to agree with him though, that is one pretty messy…whatever that is. But hey, fluffy sponge covered in sweet, sweet frosting. t may look messy, but looks like it still tastes pretty good!
My wife has started baking. And now we know why she doesn’t normally bake cakes. pic.twitter.com/fK3hA37fas
— Tommy (@NYCFirm) April 1, 2020
10) Cookies can’t social distance
Once again, who dropped the ball on telling these cookies about social distancing! Common choc chips, flatten that curve! Instead these cookies are just a flat mess!
🙄😑🤦♀️ WHY CAN’T I BAKE. pic.twitter.com/UrHQKq21OF
— Allison Rogers WLWT (@AllisonWeather) March 19, 2020
11) Well that should just be illegal
Some people love cilantro, some people hate it. Either way, this is a crime against taste buds. Even if you’re a devout fan of the common herb, there is no place for it in a chocolate chip cookie!
Tried putting cilantro in my cookie today while baking pic.twitter.com/AHba5317dE
— Taeha Types (@taehatypes) April 4, 2020
Now I don’t know a lot about banana bread, but I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to be the same color and consistency as volcanic rock. I mean I have heard of lava cake, but I don’t think this is it.
— Nic Hilton (@NicHilton1) April 3, 2020
13) When does it become just “one” cookie?
At what point does it stop being several cookies and just become one giant melded together cookie? And don’t get me wrong, there is nothing at all wrong with the idea of a giant cookie!
14) Looks like these cookies didn’t get the memo…
When cookies all meld together like this…do they technically just become one giant cookie? Either way, these cookies are officially breaching the social distancing instructions.
help my cookies are not social distancing pic.twitter.com/n8yVSdjSvJ
— Yasmine Salam 🇱🇧 (@yasminesalam_) March 26, 2020
15) Banana bread or sinkhole?
As a fan of a nice fluffy, soft piece of banana bread this does hurt a little. Looks like this banana bread is little more sunken than I would otherwise like, but hey, banana bread is banana bread.
I made banana bread. I followed the recipe exactly ish, but it failed .. pic.twitter.com/f4h9fSD9Hr
— Riley Alexander (@xRileyAlexander) April 3, 2020
16) Mmm, tasty rocks…
They say the rolling stone gathers no moss, but when the roll is as hard as a stone, what then? It gathers no interest in someone eating it?
Been waiting for this in the oven not knowing I was baking the rubbish. Who knows how to bake bread pleaseeeeeeeee. pic.twitter.com/6V54VwC0Mp
— call me when you feel sick💉💊 (@CocoMoneek) April 6, 2020
17) Now that’s being optimistic
As aforementioned, it’s best to take these little baking losses in your stride. Rather that just throw in the towel (along with the baking itself), you should walk away with a checklist of lessons learnt. Just like this guy did!
Quarantine baking Take One. Half of the cookies are burnt, half are raw, and the fire alarm is going off.
Lessons for the future.
1) My fire alarm works well
2) My neighbours are alert
3) My baking skills can only improve from here. Good thing I didn’t start with bread. pic.twitter.com/LU73Vp2u6f
— Scott Searle (@scottsearle) March 30, 2020
18) People are uniting over their blunders
In the eternal struggle of isolated citizens attempting banana bread, yet another casualty has inspired others. Under the hashtag, #Mysham, other bakers have been sharing their own baking mishaps.
19) Those poor bunnies…
It’s not just banana bread that’s getting a hared time right now, these poor baked bunnies aren’t exactly in great shape either. In fact, they actually seem a little miserable. In fact, if nobody told me those were bunnies I would think they’re some sort of ghost cookies.
What was supposed to be a braided chocolate circle (whatever that is…) ended up looking more like…well…I’ll let you decide what it looks like. It seems like this baker already has…
This was supposed to be a nice, neat, braided circle of chocolate, caramel, and banana filled chocolate yeast bread, but the strands all burst and it ended up looking like a pan of Sasquatch feces. Tasted ok, though 😀 pic.twitter.com/gRv9PmyUjn
— amanda hugandkiss nobody nearⓋ (@wendybyrdm) April 12, 2020
21) And it goes further than banana bread
I know that you CAN make bread out of potatoes, but I’ve never seen a loaf of bread BECOME one! In fact this disasterous loaf seems to even be growing roots. Hey, maybe before long they’ll be able to grow a whole plantation of loaves.
Hello. You may win most-failed banana bread, but I am champion of most-failed normal bread. I give you this: pic.twitter.com/X6OLr9DAF8
— Kelly Hevel (@KellyHevel) April 12, 2020
22) Some even throw their S.O.’s under the bus
Sometimes the shame isn’t even theirs! This guy’s poor girlfriend spent her time, sweat and effort baking him an isolation birthday cake, but I guess it didn’t quite work out so well. Well, it may be good if those are strawberries…but there’s a small chance that they’re tomatoes.
The cake my gf made for my quarantine birthday. pic.twitter.com/NonW9vTBOA
— Travon Free (@Travon) April 12, 2020
23) Puts the “pan” in “pandora’s box”
Typically cinnamon buns are, y’know…separate. Also they don’t usually amalgamate into this giant, heaving mess of cinnamon chaos. But…it may still taste good?
24) Not even microwave baking is safe
We’ve all seen the ol’ cake-in-a-cup trick, but sometimes it can go pretty wrong. One of the classic blunders that is just too easy to make, is putting way to much of the magic powder in the cup.
25) They say that baking is like chemistry…
…but that may not strictly be true. This baker and science maker is not all that successful in the techniques required to bake this…I guess cake?
This is why I’m a scientist. In case you were wondering this cake doesn’t taste good either. Think I’ll keep supporting local bakers and find a new quarantine hobby to try. #bakingfail pic.twitter.com/v0EOkwfoq1
— Shelby (@wxcastershelby) April 12, 2020
26) Great if you want to bake yourself a golf-ball holder..
If you’re trying to bake cupcakes however, this may not be the result you’re after. Plus, aren’t cupcakes usually in, like, cups? In fact, whatever this baking is, sort of became the cups.
looks better than some cupcakes I once tried pic.twitter.com/9KuEArVEj3
— biddy lynn (@hooptylau) April 12, 2020
27) This loaf was a bit of a reach
So desperate was this loaf to escape its fate, that it appears to even have been reaching for a way out. Stay strong, strange loaf, maybe one day you will be free of this world!
28) another…reaching attempt
Here’s another loaf of bread that seems to just be happy hanging out. Not sure what it is that this loaf expects to grab at, but hopefully the next time around this baker may have more success.
29) Cake news…
I mean… your kid knows what a cake is right? At least some of these turned out OK, not sure about those ones on the edge though. I guess at least some of them were worthy of icing.
My daughter made a cake last night. Mmmm pic.twitter.com/v4Z1j3uYhZ
— Trash Ass Poodle (@Mdarbyreid) April 12, 2020
30) Is there such a thing as a cake exorcist?
I mean, I’m not here to judge. But also, I am. To be honest, this cake looks like it still tastes pretty good, even if it looks a little ghastly. The good news is, a one year old probably won’t discriminate between a pretty cake and an ugly one so long as it is loaded with sugar.
— Josher (@josherwalla) April 12, 2020
31) Send those macarons back!
I guess as it turns out, homemade almond flour isn’t ideal for making these (usually) delectable treats. They’re usually soft, which a slightly crunchy outer. These however, seem to be hard, with a hard outer, not to mention charred to a cinder. I’m no macaron expert but I’m sure that’s not how it was meant to go.
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Baking fail ☹️ My macarons exploded and didn’t grow feet. I’m pretty sure it had to do with my almond flour. I made my own and I think it was too moist. I haven’t been able to find ready made almond flour but almonds are readily available. I’m gonna try again 😃 #macarons #bakingfail #quarantinebakingfail #quarantinebaking #frenchmacarons
32) It’scone badly
I’m pretty sure there’s supposed to be a difference between scones and cookies. And I’m pretty sure it’s not just that one of them can’t be mispronounced. I won’t even get started on the whole cookies vs biscuits debate…although if I were, I would point out that a biscuit is something that you dip in your tea…so it has been and so it shall always be. Wot wot!
The other day I tried baking scones 🤣 what a fail 🤦🏾♀️ they didn’t even bother rising pic.twitter.com/Ona4lMPULH
— MaNdaba (@_Teegan_) April 10, 2020
33) How do you burn something without even burning it?
According to this tweeter, they somehow managed to create these black-as-night banana bread muffins, but without actually burning them. They point to the colour being caused by some other sort of drastic chemical reaction, which I do have to call BS on. I’m no baker and so I know a burnt muffin when I see one!
I see your failed banana bread and will raise you…failed banana quarantine muffins! Yes, they are black as tar. No, they aren't burnt. An unfortunate ingredient sub created a unique chemical reaction which added to the aesthetic appeal. 👩🍳 pic.twitter.com/JgTW9o6vcf
— Krista Creighton (@CreightonKrista) April 12, 2020
34) Somewhere over a horrendous mess
What delightful little cookies (biscuits) this person set out to bake. What they got however, seems like more of a surrealist painter’s nightmare, put on a baking tray and shoved into the oven at 350 degrees for five minutes too long.
35) Well I’ve heard of lava cake…
But I’ve never seen it actually molten! Did somebody try actually scooping lava from the earth’s mantle, then dust it with frosting just to throw it back in the oven for another hour? Not going to lie, a little curious about how it tastes…
36) This funny bunny
This ambitious baker set out to make an adorable bunny cookie. Instead, what they ended up with was some sort of grotesque, molten horror-rabbit. Just going to say though- still looks delicious.
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Everyone Easter Baking? 🐰🍪 My make-shift attempt at making a bunny failed me, but I think I baked a fat cat instead? [Swipe right for Garfield] 🤣😂 Tastes great though! Learning Moments…Very open to tips! Will try again next year #maybe but for now will order from @shortandsweetcupcakes 💜 #supportlocal #therealfoodvibes #easterdesserts #easterbaking #bakingfun #bakingshapes #baking #chocolatechipcookies #pillsburycookies #pillsbury #quickbake #homecooking #bakingfail #sweettooth #thegoodandthebad #baked
37) Silly Rabbit
Well, they got the ears and eye-holes right, but the shape…not so much. Instead of cute little round bun-nies, they ended up with these messes which seem to have amalgamated somewhat, just to be broken into square rabbits.
38) Fail? OR prevail?
While this person didn’t quite get what they set out for, but by the sounds of it, it kind of worked out in the end! I’ve certainly never heard of using wild yeast from dried fruit to make bread, but hey, maybe I’ll try it for my failed baking attempt!
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In my attempt at making pizza, i discovered my yeast had expired in 2010. And the supermarkets had ran out of yeast. Then I read about making yeast from dried fruit. I used dried longan and here is an interesting outcome. The dough was stretchy and after baking, I ended up with a very pleasant tasting crispy and slightly chewy sweetish flatbread. It went really well with crunchy peanut butter. #baking #yeast #dough #driedfruityeast #flatbread #homemade #bakingfail
39) What is it with the bunnies?
I guess that following Easter, everybody was in a rabbit state of mind, but maybe they should have looked a bit closer at those recipes. To be fair, this rabbit actually just looks jacked! That’s a gym bunny for sure.
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Sadly my challahday easter bunny didn't quite work out. Seems to have come down with some hip dysplasia, ear disconnection, and a touch of elephantiasis in the oven… I think the main culprits here were uneven working of the various strands, slight underproofing, and perhaps some rusty baking skills 🤷♂️ Next time… #challah #bread #baking #breadsculpture #easter #bunny #hipdysplasia #breadart #bakingfail #breadmaking
40) Oh the horror…
What fresh nightmare is this disastrous creation? What little bakery of horrors could produce such a hideous mess? I will say what I’ve been saying this whole time though- I bet that is still as sweet and chocolaty as if it were immaculate.
41) Pretzels have seen better days
The MUTANT pretzels went a little wrong when they went from being wonderful little bread knots to…whatever those folded lumps are. I can’t tell if those are salted, but, is this person eating them with Nutella? Is that normal? Am I missing something?
42) This terrifying cookie
It’s hard to feel good about your baking skills when your pug seems to be shaken to the very core by a mere cookie. Usually dogsa re all to ready to take any treat in front of them, but this pup is petrified.
43) This custard tart turned to…custard?
Either something went wrong with this recipe, or there is something evil in that oven because something is strange in this neighbourhood. Somehow the eggs in this custard have rebelled and spilled out into a separate omelette alongside. I guess there’s nothing wring with a bonus omelette.
44) Actually kind of cute
Y’know, I’m not even 100% sure that this is even technically a fail being rather cute in a way. I mean, that is a “face” in the loosest possible definition of the word, but still! How much is that doggy?
45)Well, at least this guy has the spirit!
The important thing is that when you mess up horrendously in the kitchen over this period, you learn from your mistakes and try again. Before that though, just follow the damn recipe!
— #RamaphosaDefenceForce (@vigorous_____pf) March 31, 2020
46) Nothing better to do?
While this is certainly tame as far as these fails go, I’m sure it’s not quite up to scratch for this quarantine baker. I don’t know, I feel like with a hefty dollop of cream and cup o’ tea, this would be pretty delightful!
— Berylsadventuresinartland (@Berylonart) April 24, 2020
47) Not as it appears
It seems like this video is just like Vin Diesel. Hard on the outside, but soft and sweet on the inside. Unlike Vin Diesel however, this break is probably not ready, and probably wouldn’t be cast in The Chronicles of Riddick. Probably.
— shambles klutz (@shamblesklutz) April 18, 2020
48) A flop of glop
Well it seems like many things went wrong with this, a perfect storm of missing ingredients, faulty equipment, and gloopy consistency. Better luck next time! Given that we’re all quarantined, that could be literally any time!
#BakingFail – making a vegan chocolate fudge cake and forgot to put the sunflower oil and vanilla essence in. Also my skewer lied to me when I checked if it was done and the cake fell through when I tried to tip it out… OOOOPPPSSSS pic.twitter.com/CTboZqdGE9
— Becky Minta (@Becky_Minta) April 23, 2020
49) Upside down cake, upside down?
Well I’ve heard of upside down cake, but don’t you need to turn it upside down first. And if this isn’t upside down cake, then why does it…appear to be upside down?
— Parker Sewell (@parkersewell1) April 22, 2020
Well, that’s also not how you spell focaccia, but I’m just going to let that one slide! You know what else is sliding? This sloppy, melty dough. Sorry, I meant “D’oh!”
— Bevin Roue (@BevinRoue) April 22, 2020
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