There’s no simple answer to help us navigate through different relationships in life. And try as you might, there will always be a few difficult people who will test your boiling point.
Think of them as stepping stones where a lesson is always learned. Of course, that depends on your response to the situation.
The following entries are examples of how to deal with the almost impossible men and women who seem to enjoy spreading dark clouds wherever they go. Just remember to play it cool.
1. There’s nothing like embarassing an ex
His attorney goes blah blah blah for what felt like forever. My lawyer (yes, I had to freaking get one) stands up and simply hands the judge the divorce papers showing the disbursement of funds and how my ex isn’t owed anything. The judge looks at ex’s lawyer and basically asks, “did you even ask for this document before filing?” and dismisses the case.
2. Coffee up or shut up
I took great pleasure in telling them that I would not stand for such behaviour in MY house and, if they didn’t lower their voices, they could stand outside until they learned some manners. The meek apologies tasted so sweet. As did the coffee.
3. Planting in prison is not pleasant
When we asked her wtf she was doing, she said she had just planted them to make the house look nicer while it was listed for sale and that she really liked them and didn’t want to have buy more for her new house. We got to meet the local cops that day. She had the choice of re-planting them all back exactly how they were before or get arrested.
She spent the next 5+ hours making that s*** right again. The cops said to call them when she was done and looked everything over before they let her go with the warning that if she ever came back she would be arrested. Never saw her again.
4. You lose, princess
I thought I was doomed. Low and behold, the VP wasn’t there that day and the art teacher was filling in for this sort of thing. We told him what happened and I mentioned that she acted like she was better than everyone else because she has nice clothing and money.
She yelled that I was a liar and the art teacher said “you do act like you own the place”. She was shocked and shut the hell up. Knowing someone finally believed me was just blissful.
5. How to get rid of a toad
When I pointed out that I did not in fact work there she went off me about how important she is etc. I go to the interview. Head of IT and the toad woman walks in. She has this evil grin on her face. I stop everything. I point at the toad woman and I say something like “I have seen how your management treats people, and I have no interest in working for you” and I take my resume out his hands and walk out.
The look on her face was priceless. Oh and he had walked in with a print of a resume, so I took his copy.
6. He knew the drill
I was a cashier working at the returns counter for a big box store. Customer wanted to return a drill that stopped working after he dropped it in wet concrete. I told him I couldn’t take it back. He got all huffy and wanted to see the manager. The manager backed me up and refused to take it back as well.
Things escalated and the customer threatened to call the CEO, “who was a personal friend”, and get us both fired. I had recently done some volunteer work that the CEO was heavily involved in and had directly work with him on it over the past few months, so I had his personal phone number. I took out my phone and brought up the CEOs contact page on my phone.
Showed it to guy and asked if he wanted me to place the call for him. He threw the drill in the trashcan and stormed out. The look on my manager’s face was priceless.
7. Armed for the soaking
The other evening I was out gardening and I thought I had gotten the hose twisted, as it kept getting stuck. This went on for a bit, when I realized that it wasn’t stuck, but being pulled. I looked into the dim area just past the illumination of the street light and spied my father, crouched over and tugging the hose.
Well I did the only reasonable thing to do, and I sprayed him. He yelled and ran inside with me chasing. Once he got inside he made a face and goes “You can’t get me now! I’m inside!!” In that father-to-daughter-don’t-you-make-a-mess tone of voice. I readied my hose, looked him in the eye and said, “It’s my house.”
And just f***ing let loose with the hose. He was soaked. Worth cleaning up the mess for that moment of true fear in his eyes.
8. Denial does hurt when done right
When I was doing tech support for a mobile phone company I had some guy call me. His account had the “notable person” flag on it that usually meant they were a celebrity or politician or some s***. Anyway, he’s got an issue with his blackberry, I do my checks and it looks like a hardware failure.
He’s calling in at 9pm so I say that he’ll either need to visit a store in the morning for a warranty replacement or I can order one for him and he’d have it before 9am the day after tomorrow. Well, that wasn’t good enough. He lost his s*** as he was clearly so important he had to have his phone working at that precise second, then he pulled the “do you know who I am”.
“No I don’t,” I said, “now would you like me to order you one or would you prefer to go to a store.” I’ve never heard the wind fall out of someone’s sails faster.
9. Coming full circle in silence
I wasn’t good at returning library books when I was a kid. I got lectured by my school librarian about it a lot. Fast forward twenty years and I’m a supervisor at the local public library and my former now retired school librarian goes there. One day I see her sneaking around the front desk instead of coming back to say hi to me and I immediately figure something’s up.
I go up to say hi and she acts exasperated and tells me she was trying to avoid me because she had overdue books. So I put on my reading glasses, pulled them down over my nose, and delivered the same lecture she’d given me countless times about being responsible and turning in books on time.
– daecrist
10. Hell hath no fury
When I was in my very early twenties, I learned that my BF had cheated on me for months and the other girl was pregnant and keeping the baby. It was 100% certain and I was so traumatized by this that I broke up with him over the phone in about 15 seconds, without revealing what I knew, and then went hard no contact.
I didn’t even want to yell at him. I wanted him to cease to exist. About a year later I ended up with a short-term contract with his company that was too good to pass up, so I did my best to avoid him. Until one day cornered me and started into me, in front of about six of his co-workers, about how it was s***ty it was we couldn’t just be friends, how immature I was to avoid him, and how I couldn’t even be ‘basically civil’ to him.
I blurted out “Congratulations on the birth of your child. Remind me how old the babe is?’ and ran from the room. His coworkers put 2 and 2 together and I hear he didn’t last much longer there.
– MLeeks
11. Honesty is the best comeback
I once had a boss try to give me a disciplinary (three months later I may add) for my behaviour as it was noted I was ‘rude to her’ by several of the Groups CEOs in a Board meeting. On the disciplinary forms, you both have to write your version of the events and it goes to HR for an adjudication, she did her part and I casually filled in something to the effect of “manager continually pressured me into deleting files from our client management system prior to a regulatory audit which is against the ethical code of our profession and not aligned with my moral standards. I accept I was short with her but she was trying to force me into performing an illegal activity.”
I watched her collect up the paper and the colour drained from her face. I never did hear from HR. She got fired not long after when I casually mentioned to the CEO in a bar if she remembered the encounter and explained why I may have appeared a little frustrated and upset. Bye Felicia.
– nocnox87
12. No more nagging
My ex and I were moving out after a breakup, cleaning out the garage. She was being critical of my post-breakup plan of moving in with a coworker until I could find a better place to live, as most options weren’t great. I took a deep breath and laughed. This puzzled her.
“Why are you laughing?” she asked. I collected myself and said “Because this is the last time I have to listen to this. you don’t get to be critical of anything I ever do, ever again!”
13. Japanese CEO could care less
We had an HR lady who was extremely power-hungry. She is walking around with the president of the company who flew in from Japan. She rushes him though the warehouse. Just spits out “oh these are the warehouse guys we don’t have to stop and talk to them.” He stops walks over and starts talking to me about my last vacation. How buying my house went.
You could just see her fuming behind him as we talked for almost 45mins. I’ve had multiple meeting with him we knew each other really well. I don’t think he liked her and was doing it on purpose but I was thrilled to see her just standing there bored as hell.
14. Lucky him it wasn’t a dojo
One of my new employees came from a competitor who is, shall we say, not as put together as we are. Her former boss had actually called me to yell at me about “poaching” his consultants. Which, in and of itself, is weird enough. However, a few weeks after she started the dude rolled up to our office.
He had apparently been calling her to get her to finish an analysis for him and she just ghosted him. I went to the lobby to see what he was doing here. He started in on me again and then she happened to walk by. I didn’t fully understand the conversation but at one point he literally “demanded” she do this analysis.
She just said, “or what?” and waited a few beats before turning on her heels and walking away. I did the ol’ hand on his back point to the door universal symbol for “leave or a large security man will make you leave.” Never heard from him again.
15. Talk about being very patient
I had worked for a company for 12 years. They had cut staff about 18 months prior and assigned the senior engineer workload to me, a normal engineer, on top of my existing workload. After about a year I began the conversation of a promotion to account for the increased work.
Months and months went by with nothing and then a 2% raise in April. They fired my boss so I now worked for the plant manager, the highest level in the building. After three meetings of being blown off and “I’ll see what we can do” I started looking for opportunities.
I had one bite and give me an offer that I couldn’t refuse (25%+ raise for the exact same position down the road). I made one last attempt to argue my case as I really wanted a counter offer. The plant manager would not accept a meeting and I finally found him up at the water cooler.
I told him I wanted to hash this out today (it was the 2 week mark on the dot) and he said “I don’t have time for you”. So I let him know then and there that I would be leaving in two weeks and I was on my way to HR to turn in notice.
16. Fall of the narcissist
My ex-husband had some narcissistic qualities. Nothing was ever his fault, no respect for differing opinions etc. When we separated, I took him to court for child support as I didn’t trust we could work it out amongst ourselves. While in the courtroom, he starts getting mouthy with the judge.
Same behaviour he would have with me whenever we disagreed. He was upset about the amount he was being ordered to pay even though he and I had discussed prior what the amount would be as I had run it through the formula available on the state website.
Anyway, he starts getting mouthy and talking over the judge. It was apparent he had no regard for the situation and proper courtroom etiquette; again, he always acted as though he was above everything and could do no wrong. The judge wasn’t having it. At all.
He raises his voice and states “Mr. ____!!! If you don’t CUT IT OUT in my courtroom I will have you detained!!!”. He motioned for the sheriff in the courtroom to walk over. I have never seen my ex-husband shut up so quickly.
17. Let her presence be felt at the back of the line
I was waiting for a friend to finish work – she worked at a restaurant so fancy they had someone vetting guests at a podium outside. The place was glitzy and the folks were glam so the great and good would descend in droves. Those with a reservation were sent in; prospective walk-ins had to queue.
A car sweeps up, the driver jumps out and holds the door open to unleash a hat and dress. The woman accompanying said finery – a C-list actress from a regional daytime TV show – looked through everyone present and moved to enter. She froze, appalled, when the guest-vetter intercepted, asking “Do you have a reservation?” She mustn’t have heard the question because she didn’t respond.
Instead, she drew herself up to the full height of her couture and demanded: “Do you know who I am?” “Yes” said the maitre d’, “Back of the queue.”
18. Someone had a horrible evening
I worked in management at a theatre for a while. If the concession counter was slammed and I was able, I’d leave my post and help them sling popcorn. One night while helping out, a particularly belligerent man started cussing out a 16year old girl on a cash register for being too slow, even suggesting she quit since she clearly couldn’t handle pushing buttons or scooping popcorn.
It was pretty disgusting and I felt so bad for the girl, I stepped in and told the guy that our employees have the right to refuse service to customers who harass them as part of our anti-harassment/discrimination policy, emphasised that the lines were longer than usual, and suggested he should apologize and move on. He was P***ED.
Left half his order on the counter and started fuming off. Anticipating his next move, I went back to my original post that night – as manager of the customer service kiosk. Oh boy, the look on his face when he saw me.
19. Calm and steady over hot and angry
One day, I get a call at home from him and he just starts unloading – cursing, name-calling, insulting over some technical issue he just found out about. After a couple of minutes, I just looked at my phone and hung up on him.
The next day, I get called into a meeting with his boss, who basically wants to know who the f*** I think I am hanging up on this guy. I calmly explain that no one gets to yell at me on my time, in my home, on my phone. You have to wait for me to be on the clock to pay me for that privilege, and I’ll gladly take that money- If I’m busy being yelled at, I’m not busy with anything else. Seemed to work.
– blind30
20. Badge beats badgering any day
So my uncle is a deputy sheriff, and one time he was at an airport talking to my aunt over the phone in Spanish. Once he got done with his call some nearby Karen that overheard him went up to him and started demanding to see his green card (uncle has an accent too so you can tell he wasn’t born in the US).
Uncle decides to f*** with her and tells her he doesn’t know what a green card is and has never heard of one. She gets more p***ed and keeps demanding to see it. He messes with her some more then eventually he goes “Well I don’t got a green card but I got this” then takes out his wallet and shows her his badge. She immediately walked away while my uncle laughed his a** off.
21. No class in first class
A co-worker friend of mine was flying back from a sales conference in Vegas and he was able to upgrade to a first-class seat. We had this sales VP that was on the same flight – she was the snobby, entitled type with a full-time nanny and giant McMansion in the suburbs, and she generally treated people who worked for her like servants.
She sees him in a first-class seat as she is making her way to coach and asks him how he got that seat (he used points to upgrade). As people are getting settled in, she makes her way back up to the first-class cabin and asks to speak with the lead flight attendant. She tells him that one of her underlings is sitting in first-class and that she needs to switch with him since she’s higher on the corporate ladder.
The guy can’t believe what he’s hearing, but she won’t take no for an answer. Finally, he tells her she has to go back to her seat, or she will be escorted from the plane. She made a complete a** of herself in front of the whole first-class cabin.
22. Nothing wrong with that coolbox
When I went to a music festival. I brought a camping chair because I get terrible backache after a few days of sleeping in a tent and sitting without back support. I don’t mind others using the chair when I’m not around though. So I returned to my tent for a meal, and a guy (friend of a friend) sat in my chair.
So I asked him if I could get it back. He said “nobody is sitting on that coolbox over there” So I said “great, so you have somewhere else to sit then.” He kept arguing that it would do me no harm to sit somewhere else for a while and that he deserved to enjoy my comfy chair for a while as well.
So I said “Dude, I went to the store to buy a chair, strapped the chair to my backpack and hauled it all the way over here, while you were too lazy to do so, and now you believe you are entitled to make use of MY stuff? You can get out of my chair right this moment please, and you’re lucky I’ll allow you to sit on my coolbox.”
23. Standing up to authority
I was a registration supervisor in an emergency department. Our manager was out for heart surgery so the manager of a different facility was filling in. She was righteous and needed everyone to bow to her authority. During a staff meeting she tried to implement a policy that the president of our hospital has specifically rejected.
Nothing major, just a process change in how we checked in patients arriving by EMS. This policy worked at her facility but we weren’t equipped to implement it. She knew this but thought she was going to force us to do it as a way of showing how it was “the better way”.
After she gave the instructions she said, “any questions?” My staff all turned and looked at me for a moment, then one of them said, “is this okay?” “No. As you know, we’ve been told not to do this. Please continue arriving those patients as we have been.”
The manager flipped out and tried to write me up for insubordination. Took it to the director who knew we weren’t allowed to make this change. He shot her down and dismissed my write-up. It was super validating. It also helped me with my staff because they saw that I wouldn’t let them or myself be pushed around.
24. Know your place
I was working as a consultant for a company, there was a bit of a competition between me and this guy, the company starts to have some financial issues so I leave and start working for a client of theirs. Shortly after joining they bring in this guy I was competing with at my old job, he was technically my equal except now I was employed by the client and he was just a consultant.
He was trying to one-up me during meetings and my boss told him that decisions are made by the company not the consultants. It felt good.
– kaxobixo
25. Karen needs to go clean up after herself
Not sure if it fits but during an insanely busy weekend before Christmas, a Karen was complaining to every associate about how messy our store was. The manager had relieved the girl at the fitting room and was helping to hang stuff. Karen pulled her aside and was trying to make a point that we were messy and a horrible place to shop.
At this manager told her roughly, “Ma’am we’re messy at the moment because we’re a popular store. And the biggest reason we’re messy is because of woman like you who can’t be bothered to pick up after themselves. It’s not the associates making the mess. It’s people like you. Your type have us outnumbered.” First time I actually witnessed someone deflate.
26. Chill out and have a Coke
In 2006, I was working for Coca Cola in California. I had just left the U.S. after serving for 8 years. I’m working at a McDonalds in Hollywood when my phone chimes and alerts me that I have a text message. I ignore it because I’m in the middle of changing water filters and the water is completely shut off to every soda machine. A few minutes later there’s another text message and then another.
I get the water turned back on and check my phone. It’s a string of text messages from NCO’s and Staff Sergeants, and they are highly upset at me. They want to know why I didn’t show up for CQ duty (basically guard/ babysitting duty). Apparently, the roster had not been updated. They didn’t know that I was no longer in the Army. I replied back to them that I wasn’t coming in.
Didn’t feel like working today. Just messing with them because they didn’t know. Oh man, that’s when they really got p***ed. They threatened to give me an Article 15 unless I reported I’m 10 minutes. That’s when I took a photo of my discharge papers (DD-214) and sent it to them. They responded with “you could have told us that in the first place. Thanks a lot.” That felt so good.
27. The fast and the curious
A cop accused me of going 87mph in the right lane in traffic behind a truck, ticket and everything. In court I pointed out that the ticket said he lasered me at 297 yards. I told him in court at the podium that if he could hit a target moving through traffic at 87mph across 3 football fields that I would sponsor him for the Olympic shooting team.
The judge pointed out that they are only legally reliable at 200 yards and then she asked him if there was any other evidence that I was speeding. The best is that I had been speeding earlier on the trip but a mile ahead of my exit I moved into the right lane behind a truck and that’s where he lasered me.
28. Even the smallest candle can pierce the darkness
When I was working as an urban planner for the government in a Gulf country, we had a very strong mandate and that included environmental and social considerations. The developers were used to bullying their way to get anything until one wanted to put a nightmare project on a fragile environmental site. All the way from the Crown Prince down I received the go-ahead to do what’s best and that I’d be supported.
So I said, “nope,” to billionaire investors from the Gulf, Russia, and elsewhere, and I’m just this little American Urban Planner. I nope’d it all the way up to the Crown Prince who was behind me. I was their worst nightmare and yet such a small player to them.
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29. Tall order of mocha with a shot of rude
One day I’m like 15 minutes late and my manager rudely says “are you ever going to be on time for this job?!” I just said “Yeah… probably not” and quit and went home to go back to bed. It felt glorious.
30. If only he could read the signs
I was driving home and I saw a guy try to use a turn lane that was closed due to construction. The cones had enough of a gap for a car to fit through and this guy in a truck tried to use the lane. The guy in the forklift sees this, drives up in front of the truck, and moves the cone right in front of the truck.
He then stared down the driver before getting back into the forklift and going back to work. The dude in the truck was so flabbergasted he just sat there. I’m in the next lane over laughing my a** off when the light changes.
31. A cop without an ID
Lady at a convenience store threw a fit because the POS terminal asked for her ID when she was buying cigarettes. As in, it needs to be scanned to go any further. She started screaming how she didn’t need one, and she was clearly old enough to buy. She refused to give them her ID.
So the clerk just looked at her and with a deadpan look said “alright, have a nice day then. I can help the next customer over here!” Then the clerk told the lady “ma’am you’re going to have to scooch over a bit so I can help these customers. Thanks!” Lady threw a bigger fit and started screaming some more.
Clerk kept ignoring her and the manager came out to see what was going on. Tried to calm the screaming lady down but she wasn’t stopping. The manager said “Sorry, but we don’t serve children unless accompanied by an adult. You need to leave my store before I call the cops.” The screaming lady said, “I am a cop, you idiot.”
The manager replied, “yeah, cops get arrested all the time, you’re not a special case.” Lady just stared at her for 10 seconds, as if she was ready to fight before just deflating and finally leaving.
32. Stick around and find out
Went to pick up to-go food at the Chili’s I used to work for. My old manager was still there. His idea of teaching me the job was basically mocking me and making fun of me for any/all mistakes I made. Whatever, I lied to get the job anyway, saying that college just wasn’t for me and I wouldn’t be going anywhere in the fall.
Manager: “Oh, heyyyyy. You still in coooooooooooollege?” with a smug look on his face. Me: “Oh! How’s it going? Yep, still in college. You’re still here, I see.”
33. Now about that exhaust smoke
I’m thinking WTF Mike, you know I don’t smoke. Mike turns back to the customer with a eat s*** smile on his face.. “the tech who worked on your car doesn’t smoke, so we would appreciate it if you didn’t make false accusations”. The customer, who did smoke, had a cigarette burn in his seat and decided to blame me for it and was then politely told to pound sand.
– NZ_Guest
34. Wash your mouth, chef
35. Two cold shoulders are better than one
I worked for an AV company and was setting up a PA system in the rooftop bar of a hotel. As I was lifting a speaker onto a stand somebody came up and asked me what floor the pool was on. I responded, “I don’t know”. They then asked if I could find out for them. I said “Nope.” and kept working. They walked off in a huff only to return about 5 minutes later with one of the hotel managers.
Pointed at me and said ” He was extremely rude and refused to get me the info I asked for. The manager informs them that I’m not an employee of the hotel, but the hotel would still like to make it up to them and askes for the complainer’s room number. Complainer states they aren’t a guest at the hotel. The manager says “Oh, well then there’s nothing I can do for you” and walks away.
36. Talk to the captain
As I’m walking up the aisle to my coach seat in the back, some f*** in first-class shoves a glass in my chest and says “I’ll take another.” I shove it right back into his chest but with slightly more force and say “Get it yourself.” Just when he is about to mouth off, I point to my employee pin…with the logo of a different airline than the aircraft we were both passengers on. Felt amazing.
37. The real Cobra Kai
In my old karate club, the Sensei was middle-aged and content to just run a small club and not work to expand. One of his students (let’s call him Bob) got bigger plans, and started a new organisation. He ran it well and it grew, and the two clubs existed without bothering one another.
Until one student from the new club felt some bad vibes there, learned about Sensei’s smaller outfit, and switched over. Bob didn’t take it well. He came over during training one day, with two of his senior students, and my mate sees them coming in and warns Sensei.
Sensei goes to them at the door and listens while Bob has a rant. Finally, he just tells Bob the student is free to choose his own club, and if he chooses Sensei’s club then Sensei will stand up for that choice. Then Bob does the stupidest thing – he threatens Sensei. So Sensei played his ‘you have no power here’ card: “Do you think you can intimidate me with your two mates? I taught you everything you know, but I never taught you everything I know.”
What a line…
38. The Disney princess has spoken
I let it it slide because I had some cute kids chatting with me.. but then she loudly announces that “no one wants to see that, she needs to cover-up”. So I went over to her stroller where there was a blanket hanging over the handle and handed it to her and she said “umm what is this for?” I said, “oh dear, it’s for your head, so you don’t have to see someone feeding their baby, go on, cover-up.”
I never thought I’d see a grown-ass woman be so embarrassed by a girl in a costume, but it was glorious. Then she went over to MY attendant to tell on me and my attendant told her “well, you’re in her castle, house rules”.
39. Counting items is so easy to do
40. King of washful thinking
He said, “You’re under me here I’m in charge.” So he pulled out his phone and called the owner. “Hi, Mr. King, I have a worker here being insubordinate. Then he told me to get my stuff and leave when I told him he’s fired.” The owner said he would like to speak to me and he was put on speaker. I said, “Hi, Dad, how’s your day?”
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