A woman who was on a Tinder date was so ashamed of the fact that she is a human being that sometimes poops that she picked up her own feces out of the toilet and threw it out the window to hide the evidence.
This story is about the worst date of all worst dates. We’d cringe to hear of a story that can beat this one.
Liam Smyth says that the date started at Nando’s, a Portuguese restaurant in Bristol, UK and then he took his date back to his apartment.
“We had a lovely evening, and enjoyed each others company very much,” Smyth wrote on his GoFundMe page. “After our meal, we repaired back to my house for a bottle of wine and Scientology documentary.”
That’s when his date got up to use the bathroom. His date was visibly upset when she returned.
“I went for a poo in your toilet,” she told him. “And it would not flush. I don’t know why I did this, but I panicked. I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window.”
The pile of excrement fell between a gap near the window and the side of the house, but his date was convinced she could reach it.
“She climbed in head first after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came.”
She called out to her date to help her out of the window. He grabbed her by the waist but she would not budge. She was upside down in the window gap and very stuck. “Stuck fast,” according to Smyth.
Smyth began to get concerned for her health hanging upside for so long so he called the fire department.
“Bristol’s finest were on the scene sirens blaring in a matter of minutes,” Smyth said. “Once they had composed themselves after surveying the scene in front of them, they set to work removing my date from the window using all of their special firemen hammers and tools.”
Smyth started a GoFundMe page to raise money to fix the window that was destroyed by the fireman.
Smyth said he was keeping his name and his date’s name anonymous “for pretty obvious reasons” and asked people to be respectful of their privacy. He also said his date gave him permission to start the GoFundMe page. So, far Smyth has raised a lot more than what he was originally asking and says the rest of the fund will be donated to charity.
An eventful evening for Temple fire crews. https://t.co/FNbCNuVu5z pic.twitter.com/gZS8Cpmn9q
— Avon Fire & Rescue (@AvonFireRescue) September 5, 2017
The Avon Fire and Rescue confirmed the story and said that that two crews were sent to remove a woman trapped between interior and exterior glass.
As for a love connection between the two, Smyth said it still could happen.
“We did go and meet for a drink to discuss setting up the crowdfunder,” he said, according to the New York Post. “She’s a lovely girl. I’m not sure what’s going to happen — I’m really busy with my dissertation at the moment — but I’d certainly be open to seeing her again.”
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