Mother Writes Funny Amazon Kleenex Review About Sons

July 16th, 2019

Living with growing young boys is no small feat — all mothers know this. A house with teenage boys usually means dirty toilets, simply never having enough food in the fridge, and smelly clothes everywhere. Of course, not every single boy is like this, but for the most part, it’s pretty guaranteed.

Do you know what else is probably guaranteed when living with boys? Well, not to beat around the bush: going through a lot of tissues. If you know what we mean.

Mothers spend a good chunk of their motherhood trying to not walk in on their sons “taking care of business,” but even if they successfully avoid that, they probably won’t always avoid all of the, uh, leftover tissues.

If the guys gotta do their thing, at least they’re cleaning up afterward?!

So how do moms take care of this? How do they make sure they are always stocked with tissues?

That’s where buying Kleenex in bulk comes into play.

This was perfectly described by one mother in particular, who left an Amazon review about her Kleenex. Warning: It’s the most hilarious review of all time. You might just laugh your face off. (It’s not a typical review, let’s just say.)

“I want to start this off by thanking Kleenex for selling these in 36-packs,” the mom starts her review. “I’ve put it on subscription, and if they want to start selling a 72-pack, sign me up. I have three reasons for needing this much Kleenex, and their names are Liam, Samuel and Hank.”

There’s no beating around the bush for this mother. She goes on to lay it out plain and simple.

“This is how it goes in this house. First, the Kleenex disappears. Then the toilet paper. Then they go for fabrics. And you don’t want it to get there, unless you’re ready to invest in a five-gallon drum of Febreze.”

“This used to be a good Christian home. But it’s not about moral judgment anymore,” she says. “I’m way beyond that. I’m in survival mode.”

This is a mother who is simply just trying to find the best way to survive. She wants to get her bang for her buck without sacrificing your poor linens.

“If I don’t supply absorbent paper products, I’m going to find my dish towels hidden in the basement, stiff as aluminum. The other day, I almost cut my hand on a sock. I am sorry to speak so frankly, but with three teenage boys, a woman has got to be practical.”

In other words, Kleenex is not an option. It’s a necessity.

“The funny part is, they think they’re being sneaky, with their 45-minute showers and sudden need for ‘privacy’, as if I’m going to walk in on them journaling. They slink around the house like unfixed cats, while I try to announce my location at all times.”

“No one needs to ask me to knock anymore,” she says. “I knock on the walls. I practically wear a cowbell. I’m not looking to catch anyone by surprise, believe me. I’m just trying to get through this.”

“The other day my husband was watching me unload the groceries, and he asks me, all sweetness and light, ‘Honey, what’re you doing with all that Kleenex?’ I about knocked him off his chair.”

Read the hilarious review in full here.

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Source: Scary Mommy