Josh and Lolly, two best friends since high school, decided to get married in 2002, although they both knew Josh was gay. He had told Lolly in their teens when she had asked him and eventually he got to admit it to her. But, at the time, they were both sticking with the Mormon religion and cultural beliefs and traditions, that a gay person cannot go to heaven unless they remain celibate or marry a person of the other sex, although they are attracted to people of the same sex.
Josh and Lolly were best friends, they loved each other deeply and, as time went by, Lolly started to fall in love with him, which made it easier for her to say yes when he proposed to her, even though she knew the truth about his sexual preferences.
Eventually, in 2012 Josh came out as gay and stated he was married to a woman in a blog post that went viral. After that, their perspective on life, their beliefs and convictions started to change little by little. The contact with the LGBTQ community started to affect them and they came to realize that the arrangement they had made was not helping either one of them.
Lolly was not happy in a marriage with a man who wasn’t sexually attracted to her, while Josh had suppressed his sexuality for way too long. They also started to question and challenge the belief that gay people are broken straight people, who get “fixed” after death and go to heaven if they abstain from homosexual acts.
So on their 16th anniversary, they decided to get a divorce. And so they did. Many people around them questioned and disapproved of their decision, but, ultimately, it was their lives and their daughters that were being affected by that situation. What caused the most suspicion was that the family of six continued living together after the divorce.
“Lately, I get a lot of people coming up to me with apprehensive looks saying, “So…how are you doing?” Often, I think what they actually want to say is, “What are you guys doing anyway? Have you gotten divorced yet? What is going on with your living arrangement? Are you crazy?””
Lolly, through a blog entry, replied to anyone who was wondering if they were crazy and if there were any hard feelings for her ex-husband, that they were not crazy, just trying to do the best for their family. She also stated that she didn’t hate Josh in any way and she didn’t feel she was his victim.
“In fact, he is more of a victim that I am. Again, I need to remind everyone that I got to live a normal heterosexual adolescence filled with fun crushes and dreams of finding true love.”
According to Lolly’s post, they are living a happy life the way they want it to be. Josh has found a lovely boyfriend, whom the whole family adores, and she has also found her significant other.
If this story were to convey a message, that would be to accept ourselves and others no matter what the community beliefs are or what society might think of you. It is to show that, by complying with any kind of rules that dictate who you should be and how you should feel, you can easily be trapped in situations that make yourself and others around you miserable.
Whatever you do, stay true to yourself and spread only love.
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