Inclusion. It’s a word that has somehow become politicized over the last decade, but more often than not it’s just the simple act of allowing people to feel welcome into groups or activities that would normally alienate, ignore, or even shun them.
The disabled community – which encompasses an enormous range of people – knows more about the importance of inclusion than perhaps anyone else.
So when a simple act of inclusion occurred for her son at a high school band performance this year, one mother took to social media to share the story and drive home the importance of just letting people in.
Carissa Brealey Bonacci adopted her son Isaac from Columbia when he was just 3 years old.
Since then, she said her son, who is “severely intellectually disabled,” has often been treated by others – even family – as a burden.
But now, he’s found a home in the marching band of his big brother Aiden at Oñate High School in Las Cruces, New Mexico.
In her original Facebook post – which now has over 3.6 million views – she began:
“My middle son, Isaac, is severely intellectually disabled and rarely gets to participate in the same activities as his siblings. When Isaac started high school this year, my older son, Aidan, convinced me to let Isaac join the marching band. Isaac cannot play an instrument and needs constant supervision, so I was extremely skeptical. But marching band is Aidan’s family-away-from-home, and I was touched at how much he wanted to share that with his little brother.”
Clearly, this mom knew she could count on Aiden to make sure Isaac had a good experience, so she sent them off to practice, hoping for the best.
“I caved, and I’ve been blindly sending the two of them off to band camp and rehearsals for the last six weeks. I figured Isaac was helping set up equipment or run water bottles, and he came home every day very happy and chatty. What more could I want?”
The result was the best-case scenario for all involved. Not only was Isaac included in the marching band, but he was welcomed in a way that made everyone feel good.
When the Bonacci attended the school’s first marching band practice in September, she was shocked to see just what role Isaac was playing.
She said:
“Last night the boys had their first marching performance of the season. Isaac did not set up equipment or run water bottles. He PLAYED. He played percussion just like his big brother. He stood front and center in the percussion pit and totally jammed on a drum pad.”
There was Isaac, performing with the band.
Granted, he isn’t able to follow the beat, so his percussion pads were turned off, but he’s there, having a great time, front and center as a part of the band’s performance.
His mom couldn’t believe her eyes.
“The pad muted his playing, which was pretty off-beat and completely out of sync with the rest of the band, but he had the time of his life. I bawled.”
Not only is Isaac not a burden, he’s an integral member of the group. Even students who have been interviewed by the local news since the video went viral have said Isaac blends right in, no big deal.
Touched, Bonacci ended her story on a simultaneously heartwarming and heartbreaking note:
“The band director has thanked me for allowing Isaac to be part of the band, and Aidan has told me many times how much everyone loves having Isaac there, but I don’t think I really got it until last night. I’m so used to Isaac being treated like a burden (with varying degrees of patience and tolerance), even by relatives. Seeing him be so thoroughly appreciated for who he is (and not judged for what he isn’t) is something I never expected outside our family. I just had to share. I couldn’t be prouder of both my boys.”
At the end of the day, treating someone like Isaac as a burden only makes things worse for everyone. He can’t change and concentrating on what he’s not able to do or the accommodations that need to be made on his behalf can only lead to resentment.
To see a school, a marching band director, and fellow students simply decide they were going to make it happen is a wonderful lesson for us all.
In this case, inclusivity led to everyone’s happiness.
The touching story has now been shared by the site Love What Matters and has gained another 1.5 million views on Facebook where thousands of people are commenting about how touched they were by this sweet story.
Be sure to scroll down and see the video of Isaac’s rocking performance.
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