Just when you think grown-ups are the only ones who worry about being single for the rest of their lives, along comes a 4-year-old cutie named Mila, and she has a thing or two (or twenty) to say about her boyfriend-less woes!
“So um, I know I don’t talk that much about my love life…”
In this adorable video-style rant, the “single-but-definitely-still-looking” 4-year-old bravely opens up to the Internet about matters of the heart.
In fact, the pretty lil’ shortstop is so ready to let it all out, Mila fesses up to being a lonesome dove during the first few seconds of her very revealing “interview!”
It may seem like pure madness to take dating advice from a preschooler, but her smarty-pants comments are spot-on!
With dramatic flair worthy of an Oscar, Mila breaks eye contact with the camera and starts looking everywhere except straight at you. Then, right on cue, she coyly lowers her gaze down towards the ground.
When she looks up again, there’s a playfully sarcastic glint in her eyes. Through tightly pursed lips, Mila suddenly blurts out:
“Everyone has a boyfriend. Great. Everyone’s like, how are you single?”
We’re about to find out the real reason why Mila is single, and the truth is coming straight from her mama’s mouth!
“Mom says it’s cause boys think I’m intimidating.”
Mila nods at herself in agreement, then pokes an accusing finger at her chest to indicate that mom is absolutely correct.
Well, you have to admit, Mila does kind of have that “in your face” girl thing going on.
Then there’s also this other issue of the pity-party selfies Mila may or may not be posting on her Instagram feed.
“Karen says it’s because I’ve been spending all day crying and taking pictures of it.”
Since she isn’t exactly feeling the love, Mila rolls her eyes and throws a cheeky retort back in her (ex?) friend’s face:
“Whatever Karen. Who was there when your Farmville boyfriend dumped you? Me!”
According to Mila, the only consistent thing going on in her chaotic life has been her relationship status. She’s proudly maintained her single-dom for at least 4 straight years!
“Being a single woman is great. Until I leave my house. Or turn on the TV. Or listen to music. I’m honestly not that picky you guys!”
Then, realizing just how single she really is, Mila cradles her head in her hands in total frustration. Awww, she could probably use a good cuddle!
Her ideal boyfriend only has a single bullet point. Just one! And the universe hasn’t been able to deliver.
“My ideal boyfriend is… a boyfriend.”
“Everyone has a boo. Whenever I say, ‘Hey boo,’ boys run away! I’m not a ghost. Am I?”
Uh oh, poor Mila is starting to lose it! She wraps a white scarf around her head like a ghostly wedding veil, and begs anyone who’ll listen to just “love me.”
“I guess I’m sick of giving you guys relationship advice when my ship doesn’t even float.”
Mila’s 4-year-old “problems” might be slightly scripted, but her brilliantly funny performance certainly reminds us that life is too cute and short to take too seriously.
Be sure to watch the video below if you’re up for some fun’n’giggles. You don’t want to miss the ending that has a very sweet “ring” to it!
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