55 Hilarious Tweets That Sum Up Midwest Culture

driving in the midwest:

🌽🌽🌽| || ⚫ |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🚘 || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🦌 || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| ⚫ || |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| || 🚧|🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🚜|| |🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| 🕳️|| 🦌|🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽| || |🌽🌽🌽

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) December 21, 2019

1. Time To Leave

Time operates differently in the Midwest. It’s largely out of politeness. You might have someplace to be, but if you are in the middle of a conversation, whatever appointment you have is just going to have to wait.

Midwest goodbyes are 45 minutes of continued conversation while your hand is on the doorknob in the tiny entrance area and hugs and kisses have already been given.

— Sally Keckeisen (@sallykeckeisen) December 28, 2017

2. Windy Days

The prairie winds blow strong across the great open states. No matter how long you live there, you never really get used to it. Could it just stop blowing for a day or two?

How many of you have felt personally victimized by this wind? #midwestproblems #prairiewinds pic.twitter.com/qWsXsxCaUQ

— 𝔬𝔩' 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢 (@_camtasia) February 28, 2016

3. Ranch Fanatics

“More ranch, please!” It’s a phrase that you’ll likely hear pretty often. It’s a dressing that can be applied to almost every dish.

Midwest culture is just ranch dressing that’s it

— kt (@katieakin) May 13, 2018

4. Small Town Life

There are a couple of sizable cities, but really, most people don’t live there. The rest of us are all out in the boonies. We live in tiny podunk towns that no one has ever heard of.

When asked where you're from:

*Names the biggest city you live by bc it's not worth explaining where you're actually from*

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) April 5, 2019

5. Ranch Camp

Have you ever heard of Ranch Camp? It’s totally a thing. It’s where parents send their kids as a punishment for bad behavior.

if you're from the midwest and you don't like ranch dressing they send you to ranch camp (trust me, it bad)

— Ingrid Ostby (@ingridostby) August 2, 2016

6. Weather Forecast

Midwesterners can tell you what the weather is going to be like tomorrow just by taking in a deep breath. It’s something in the air. It blows differently out here.

someone: omg do you smell the air??

californians: ??

new yorkers: …

midwesterners: yep i can feel it in my joints, there’s a blizzard coming in two days y’all better get ready

— Midwestern Problems (@midwesternprobz) November 20, 2018

7. Midwest Language

Is it a yes or no? It can be pretty confusing to those who aren’t from the Midwest. It’s a bit of a puzzle to figure it out, but it all depends on the order of the words.

Midwest language be like:

No Yeah = Yes

Yeah no = No

Yeah no for sure = Definitely

No yeah no = Oh no, you’re fine

Yeah no yeah = I’m sorry, but unfortunately, the answer is yes

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) June 21, 2019

8. Big Attractions

Most people on a cross-country road trip just breeze straight through the Midwest. They are totally missing out. Don’t they realize how many different cool places there are to stop at?

Todays drive included passing Duck Tape world headquarters and the RV/mobile home Hall Of Fame. #midwestlife

— 𝕊𝕋𝔸＄ℍ (@ashstarr88) August 24, 2015

9. Long Lectures

If you are a student in the Midwest, you have to watch the clock like a hawk. Otherwise, class could end up lasting forever. No one is ever going to just leave without permission.

https://twitter.com/incognitothot/status/905482368861036548

10. Daily Temperature

When it comes to hot and cold weather, the major factor is the wind. It can change things dramatically. If a big gust rolls through, you can feel it deep in your bones.

I am a midwesterner and I am

🔘Cold

🔘Not cold

☑️Wouldn’t be that bad without the wind

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) December 16, 2019

11. Important News

Journalists don’t have much to work with in the Midwest. Chicken farms are an important beat. The biggest story of the week is when a tractor flips over or something.

https://twitter.com/CassidyGrom/status/662449610703679488

12. Favorite Store

Shopping trips typically only involve one destination — Target. There aren’t exactly a lot of different options. Luckily, you should be able to find everything that you need there.

Wanna go to target?

— Sunkissedhoney (@TaylorNoe3) November 20, 2018

13. Oh, It’s Going

Positivity is one of the main traits of Midwesterners. If they even hint at things in their life going poorly, it’s a bad sign. You had better call in the reinforcements as it’s likely a major emergency!

If you ask a Midwesterner ”how are you” and they respond “well, im here” or “oh it’s going” send help immediately. It’s a desperate cry for help that loosely translates to “i need you to push me off the roof.”

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) February 14, 2020

14. Dairy Obsession

Cheese and cream are two of the most important ingredients. You can find them in almost every meal. If you check the nutrition labels, you’ll definitely find them listed there.

Trying to avoid diary products is waaaaayyy harder than just cutting out meat they hide cheese and cream in everything! #MidwestStruggles

— @ConsiderYourMind (@ER1CK1NG88) January 9, 2014

15. Exotic Groceries

Krogers is essentially a vacation destination. It’s so fancy compared to the other options. People actually get excited about going there.

midwest culture is going to the fancy kroger

— hudsonian godwit (@swampboyfriend) July 11, 2018

16. Cows For Days

There sure is a lot of livestock in the Midwest. Everywhere you go, there is another dairy farm. It’s cows on top of cows on top of cows.

Cows :) pic.twitter.com/MD66fUAhVj

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) May 18, 2020

17. Eventful Weekends

Only in the Midwest is something like this possible. Country bars are poppin’ at night, and in the day, barns are where all of the action is. It’s a really good combination.

My coworker just told me her wkend consisted of drunk dancing on tables at night & chasing pigs that escaped the next morning. #midwestlife

— What the Elle (@elleblue216) April 11, 2016

18. Deer Problems

Driving at night requires a lot of vigilance. Every time you pass a field, a deer could run out in front of the car at any second. You pass one field of deer and then immediately pass another. It goes on like this for the entire drive.

https://twitter.com/kaylaroebling/status/1064718066863546370

19. Telling Stories

You never know what time period Midwesterners are referring to when they talk about the past. It could be decades ago or it could be a day or go. It’s really hard to determine.

It’s funny when midwesterners say “the other day” because it could mean yesterday or 1992

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) October 19, 2020

20. Special Delivery

Only in the Midwest do people send farm animals in the mail. A post office containing livestock is just unheard of outside of the rural regions. If the package you bought starts crowing in the morning, you know that you are in the right place.

There was an actual live rooster waiting to be picked up at the post office this morning. #midwestlife

— Lisa is not really here (@lisa_cerezo) May 4, 2016

21. Beautiful Day

The weather is all over the place. Sometimes it’s cold, and other times, it’s even colder. A nice balmy 30 degrees actually sounds pretty good right about now.

Midwest culture is saying “it feels so nice out” when the temperature is in the mid 30’s

— bailey (@c1aar) January 21, 2018

22. Midwestern Anger

There is a scale for the eight different levels of anger you might experience in flyover country. It goes from “woah woah woah” to “listen here pal”. Even when anger is at an all-time high, it still seems pretty tame in comparison to the east coast.

The 8 levels of midwestern anger

8. “Woah woah woah”
7. “Hold your horses”
6. “Jeez Louise”
5. “For Heaven’s sake””
4. “If I had a nickel for every time”
3. “Well, now wait a minute”
2. “For Pete’s sake”
1. “Listen here pal”

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) June 9, 2019

23. Funny Arguments

It’s often a competition to see who can be more polite. Everyone is trying to one-up everyone else. It’s a never-ending cycle of escalation.

I love the Midwest. Just got in a polite but firm "You go ahead", "no you go ahead!" argument getting off the plane.

— Jordan (@jordanleediehl) July 31, 2016

24. Spelling Quiz

Do you know how to spell Cincinnati? Sure, it’s easy to do when looking at the word right in front of you. However, what if you close your eyes and try to do it without peeking?

https://twitter.com/katewitko/status/1035132857247772672

25. Snow Days

Growing up in the Midwest means that school could be cancelled at any moment. You have to watch the TV if you want to keep up to date. Watching the scrolling list of cancellations is a daily activity.

Kids these days get a push alert to let them know school is cancelled. They’ll never know the thrill/terror of watching the list of schools scroll through on the local news.

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) January 3, 2020

26. Cleaning Cars Off

When the snow does hit, you have to use whatever you got on hand to clear it. In the Midwest, that likely means a lacrosse stick. Sometimes, it’s all that you have available.

Just witnessed my neighbor shoveling his car out with a lacrosse stick #MidwestLife

— Eric Smith (@esmitty29) January 23, 2016

27. Ah Jeez

We can hear that sweet Midwestern accent in our head just thinking about the phrase. It’s definitely a classic. Even when writing work emails, it is a typical thing to say.

Midwest culture is using “ah jeez” in a professional email

— Parker Sofia 🏳️‍🌈 (@praiseafork) December 14, 2020

28. Delicious Dishes

Paper plates? Barbecue? What’s not to like? Even if your cooking is bad, everyone is still going to tell you that it’s great.

midwest nice is putting your paper plate upside down in the trash at the Labor Day BBQ so you don’t offend whoever made the stuff you didn’t eat

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) September 6, 2020

29. Watching The Clouds

In the Midwest, you can see all kinds of different weather patterns, all on the same day. A storm can quickly transform into a rainbow. Plus, if you’re really lucky, it’ll be a double rainbow.

https://twitter.com/Sallyacious/status/753398946253316097

30. Tornado Warning

You know you’ve been living in the Midwest for too long when a tornado approaching doesn’t even get you worried. It’s just another day. Unless you can visibly see it coming, it’s still not really a threat.

https://twitter.com/sydiest/status/1011678817679790083

31. Midwest Thanksgiving

If you’re not from the Midwest, you likely won’t understand this picture at all. However, for those who grew up in the region, it’s absolutely hilarious. It makes total sense!

Midwest Thanksgiving:
⊂_ヽ
　＼＼ ope, excuse me
　　＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
　　　 >　⌒ヽ
　　　/ 　へ＼
　　 /　　/　＼＼just gonna sneak
　　ﾚ　ノ　　ヽ_つ
　　/　/
　 /　/|
　(　(ヽ
　|　|、＼right by ya
　| 丿＼ ⌒)
　| |　　) /
ノ )　　Lﾉ
(_) and grab some stuffing

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) November 28, 2019

32. Summer Months

When it’s winter, we long for summer again. However, in the Midwest, summer never really comes. It’s just a brief seasonal gap of slightly less cold weather.

the fact that it's the middle of July and it's cold enough for there to be frost on the windows #midwestlife 🙄😒

— . (@gaftomlin) July 15, 2016

33. Flying Isn’t Easy

Getting up to go the bathroom on a plane is not a big deal. Although, if you are flying through the Midwest, the etiquette is quite different. You wouldn’t want to be rude, now, would you?

midwest culture is needing to pee the entire flight but having a window seat and not wanting to disturb the people in your row so you just suffer

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 20, 2018

34. Nice House

The value of a house in the Midwest is directly correlated to the slope of the driveway. Steep driveways are a disaster, especially when it’s icy out. They are impossible to drive up.

Being from the Midwest is admiring a house and then saying “but imagine that driveway in the winter”

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) December 22, 2020

35. Proud Coworkers

Hunting is still an important sport in the rural areas. Everyone has some random pelt or hide to show off. Taxidermists are in high demand out in farm country.

I appreciate my coworkers at least asking me first before trying to show me their taxonomied fox and deer hides. #worktweets #Midwestlife =/

— Ay (@WbyAy) July 29, 2016

36. Hey Buddy

There are some phrases in the Midwest that can mean multiple things depending on how you say them. Voice tone is everything. You don’t want to accidentally make a mistake.

“Hey Buddy” either means hello friend or there is a fight starting in 5 seconds

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) January 27, 2021

37. Midwestern Goodbye

Getting out the door isn’t easy after visiting someone. You have to go through a whole process just to say goodbye. If you miss a step or two, you’re just going to have to start all over again.

The 8 layers to a Midwestern goodbye:

– about to leave warning (stand up)
– a "we've gotta go" statement
– hugs
– walking to the doorway
– one more conversation in the doorway
– more hugs
– continue talking while everyone's piling in the doorway
– placing hand on doorknob

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) September 4, 2019

38. Long Distances

Towns in the Midwest are spread out pretty far apart. You end up driving through miles and miles of cornfields to get to where you are going. It’s a frustrating ride through the middle of nowhere.

midwest culture is driving 24 hours instead of going on a 2 hour flight

— sexi (@olivermalibu) January 25, 2021

39. Change Of Seasons

Here’s the catch: there basically are no seasons, or at least, there aren’t any good ones. Every month arrives with another new headache to deal with. Just take your pick.

How seasons work in the Midwest:

Jan – Cold
Feb – Bitterly Cold
Mar – Potholes from hell
Apr – Cold with Rain
May – 🌪
Jun – Mosquitoes
Jul – instant sweat
Aug – Surface of the sun
Sep – Tiny Black Bugs
Oct – Bonfires
Nov – Winter Preview
Dec – Cold, with decorations

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) February 1, 2021

40. Interesting Scents

If you live in the Midwest, let’s hope that you like the smell of farms. There are a lot of them. They can be pretty smelly too, especially when the fields are getting fertilized.

https://twitter.com/fierisguy/status/1331403708056395777

41. Storm Preparation

Windshield wipers often get stuck to the window in a snowstorm. This is the solution. It’s a common sight here, but outsiders might think that they are dealing with crazy people.

Midwesterners do this and think they’ve beat Mother Nature pic.twitter.com/28FEirVkCs

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) January 15, 2021

42. Cream Cheese Combos

Sometimes, cream cheese is a dip. Sometimes, it’s a cheesecake. It can pretty much be anything that you want.

Midwest culture is mixing cream cheese + 1 other thing and calling it cheesecake or dip depending on the sugar content of the other thing

— louis primadonna 💋 (@kalabarzrevenge) October 12, 2017

43. Understanding Measurements

Directions come with an important caveat. You need to use this key to decode them. People don’t use miles as a measurement out here.

Midwestern folk units of measurement:
Next door= 1-2 miles
Right up the road= 5-10 miles
Up North= 15-100 miles
A couple miles= 10-20 miles
Not too far= 20-50 minutes
A little ways= over an hour
A pretty good drive= 2 hours +
Drive down there= literally any direction

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) October 27, 2019

44. Morning Greetings

The head nod is a greeting that is common around the world. However, in the Midwest, it’s more of an acknowledgment of shared suffering than it is a greeting. It means that we are all in this together.

Midwest culture is that out of breath “Mornin” and head nod to strangers as you walk past each other in the cold

— Colin Sikic (@gotasick_itch93) December 29, 2020

25. Dad Life

Midwest dads are different than other dads. They have their own mannerisms and lingo to deal with. These are just a few of the commonalities that you might see.

Midwest dads:

gets bill at restaurant: "what’s the damage”

tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”

flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “oh yeah that’s money right there”

asked what time it is: “time for you to get a watch”

answers the phone: “YELLO”

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) September 3, 2019

46. Garage Storage

Who needs a fridge when you have a garage? That’s the Midwest motto. You can save big time on refrigeration bills while paying fortunes to heat up everything else.

Midwest culture is putting stuff that doesn’t fit in the fridge out in the garage to keep it cold

— KT (@the_KATE_gatsby) December 26, 2020

47. Patient Drivers

No matter how fast you drive, it’s always going to take a long time to get anywhere. If you’re comparing 70 miles per hour to 75, it really doesn’t make much of a difference. People from other states just don’t understand.

Anyone else get offended when someone passes you when you're already going 5-10mph over the speed limit? Like ope, sorry 70 in a 60 isn't good enough for you… I hope ya’ll get pulled over.

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) February 21, 2019

48. Receipt Question

Do you get the joke here? You need to separate out the words that are visible on the sign. The answer to the question is “Ope, yes!”

When the cashier asks a Midwesterner “do you want your receipt?” pic.twitter.com/drXZ4S8IfX

— ADHDean (@ADHDeanASL) October 16, 2020

49. Cold Tolerance

In California, 60 degrees is a state of emergency. In the Midwest, it’s barbecuin’ weather. It’s time to head out into the backyard for a cookout.

People in the Midwest when it’s 60 degrees vs people in California when it’s 60 pic.twitter.com/J6fiZ1aiUc

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) January 22, 2021

50. Midwest Vocabulary

Trying not to say ope is pretty much a lost cause. Good luck! No matter how much you try not to, you’re going to end up saying it eventually.

https://twitter.com/NGuggisberg/status/1062005020181192704

51. Apology Accepted

Sorry is a word that you will likely hear a lot in the Midwest. It’s ingrained deep in the culture. Apologizing for everything is practically a way of life.

Employer: what is your greatest weakness?

Midwesterner: I have a habit of apologizing to inanimate objects after bumping into them

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) November 29, 2020

52. Shorts Weather

Shorts are supposed to be worn when it’s warm out. Although, what people consider warm weather is all relative. If you are used to the cold, then 29°F can feel downright tropical.

midwest culture is wearing shorts to school when it’s 29° outside

— mikfly (@mikaylah02) December 21, 2020

53. Heat Wave

On the other hand, 75°F is like being cooked in an oven. It’s so hot! If it ever gets higher than that, people in the Midwest might start to panic.

Heaven on earth? 75 degrees with no humidity in the Midwest in August

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) August 30, 2020

54. Snow Storms

Driving in the snow is a disaster in the South. In the Midwest, it’s an everyday occurrence. A couple of inches of snow means that it’s time to have some fun.

*3 inches of snow*

The South: all activities are cancelled for the next week, drive like you’re taking grandma to church, this could be the end folks!

The Midwest: hold on grandma I’m drifting this next turn!

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) January 15, 2021

55. Midwest Sports

If the window is frosty, it’s all good. Just keep on driving. If you want to really have some fun, you can close your eyes too. Why not?

Driving in the morning with a frosted windshield https://t.co/K9E6fQWBtT

— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) November 13, 2020