As a woman, when you sense someone walking too close… you immediately go into panic mode. It’s an unfortunate response that we’ve evolved into having.
But sometimes there are people, complete strangers even, who are willing to stick their necks out to protect women. One of those people is Karlos.
He made a posting under the subreddit TwoXChromosomes explaining how he went out of his way to make a sure a woman was safe when a few thugs pointed her out and seemed to want to do her harm. Unfortunately, he looked like a creep in the process. So, he decided to plead his case in his post and explain his “creep-like” actions.
To be fair… the way he described the situation didn’t help.
“To the girl that I followed today for almost four blocks to her car:
We were walking in opposite directions near the new student accommodations, you briefly looked at me and kept walking and a couple of seconds later I turned around and started following you. I notice the moment you realized that I was following you by how your pace changed, your shoulders squared and you grabbed your phone. That didn’t stop me, you just kept walking and I maintained the distance (some 50 feet behind you) pretending to talk on my phone. I thought a couple of times on closing the distance and introducing myself, talk to you, but I didn’t, so you kept walking, throwing glances to check where I was.”
Once they turned the corner, Karlos kept up his distanced pursuit of the woman.
“I could also tell you that once you turned around the corner to the dead end street next to the motorway (the only one near the city centre were parking is not measured) were your car (and mine) was parked that if you had being wearing tennis shoes you would probably have started to run, but wisely you kept you pace in your high heel boots. I stopped by my car, yours was further down the street, and used my phone again, and I saw you taking a picture or video of me when you passed by my side in your car.”
This woman had no idea whatsoever that two other men were pursuing her and presumably trying to do her harm. She had no idea that Karlos was the one trying to make sure that she was safe.
Karlos said that the men seemed intoxicated and that even he was scared of what they could be capable of.
So, he decided to call the police.
“What you probably never noticed was the other two guys, the ones in the other sidewalk, the ones that pointed at you and started to follow you before we crossed the first time. You didn’t notice how they looked at you or the fact that they seemed to be on drugs, or a bit drunk, or maybe both. You also didn’t notice when you passed me in your car that they were in the corner of the dead end street, looking at you in your car passing by and then at me. You also missed the next 10 minutes while I waited in my car for the police to arrive (that I called while you were getting into your car), the 15 minutes of questions that followed and me showing them the picture of the two guys that I took while I was following you.”
“I really sorry that I scared you, but to be completely honest, I was really scared myself. I’m no hero by any means and my instinct was telling me to get the f*** out of there, but you could have been my wife (she parks in the same street) or my daughter and I wouldn’t forgiven myself if something happened and I did nothing to stop it.”
Karlos is so thoughtful that he even posted a link to the map where the incident occurred in Belfast so that others could be safe. Karlos’ post ended up going viral. It got so much attention that people had a lot of questions so he had to add a few comments
“Edited to clarify a couple of things:
1) I shared this because the situation scared me, and if a similar situation happened somewhere else I wish that the situation is not ignored or shrugged off. Do I have any advice? Dunno, probably just this: if you think that you are being followed or that something is wrong, don’t wait to see what happen, call the police, call a friend, a family member, knock on a door or get into a shop. Worst case scenario you’ll look a bit paranoid.
2) She was carrying some sort of briefcase alongside her purse and was well dressed, I think that the briefcase was what called those guys’ attention.”
“3) They seemed to be waiting for an opportunity, that was the main reason why I didn’t approach, I was afraid that I would sort of trigger them and offer a second target (still, probably wrong on my side, but in the moment that’s what I thought).
4) I called the police because if those guys were trying to assault her, more than likely it wasn’t the first time and/or they would go for another victim if it was a mistake worst case scenario they spent 10 mins talking to the police (no idea if they caught them).
5) I parked my car in the dead-end street and was walking towards the city center, she was coming from the city center, obviously I didn’t know where she was heading, if instead of turning to the dead-end street she had continued walking I would have probably approached her, or she would have reached another street that has more traffic and there are more people walking around.
For the ones wanting to know where this happened: https://www.google.co.uk/maps/dir/54.5978716,-5.9353879/54.5969477,-5.9409572/@54.5973025,-5.9393942,17.75z?hl=en”
Not all of the Reddit readers agreed with Karlos’ response. Some said he should have just minded his own business so that he wouldn’t get accused or scare the woman.
Others said that trying to be discreet was pointless and she should have spoken up and said something to the woman. Karlos did have a final word about the incident before finally putting it to bed.
“Final EDIT:
1) For some reason I can’t see any new replies from the last 8 or 9 hours, I have seen some of them in the notification’s bar in my phone but not all the text is showed and I can’t reply from there (and I wanted to reply to some of them) and this is the reason for a final edit.
2) To the people that think this is BS: I wish it was, you don’t have to believe me and in fact, I don’t mind, just do yourself a favor and be safe out there (regardless of your gender)
3) I think that someone asked for the police report: REALLY??? Do you expect from me to upload a document with my personal information just so you can ‘believe me’?”
“4) To clarify what happened: I saw the two guys gesturing only a couple of seconds before I crossed the girl and I kept walking a bit trying to decide what to do (turn around?, keep walking?, shout at her?, shout at them?) I deceided to follow her just in case, I didn’t know what the guys intentions were (if any) or even if they knew her, but the constant glances at her and finaly the fact that they stayed in the corner (entrance) to the dead end street and the way they looked at her when she passed by in her car was what made me call the police (also, don’t forget that I was in that same f**** street and to go back to the city center I would have had to walk by them).
4.1 Adendum: Northern Ireland is part of te UK, not ROI (Republic Of Ireland) and here we call the police ‘the police.’
5) Was my decision the best one? Most likely not, but it’s what I did and no one was hurt (beyond being scared, that is). Now that it passed and reviewing the situation (alongside with some of the comments here) if anything similar happens again I would try to approach the person and explain the situation, or even maybe call the cops straight away.
Thank you all for your advices, skepticism, humor and good whishes, be safe out there and never be afraid of looking foolish if that will keep you safe (asking someone else for help, knocking on a house, going into a shop or even stop a passing car).”
Whether he went about the situation properly or not, at least everyone stayed safe. You can find safety tips about what to do if you’re being followed here.
Please SHARE this with your friends and family.
