Sometimes life can’t all be sunny skies and roses. There are a few immutable facts of life that everyone has to face at some point. The positive news is that by facing these facts (and sometimes that means facing ourselves, we’re often able to live freer and fuller lives. It can just take a good long look in the mirror to get your head around some of them.
So let’s get into it, with a list of some of the common hard truths to face. I’d encourage you to take the time to consider how these truths, good or bad may effect your life, and what you do about them every day.
1. Nothing is perfect.
As much as we may want every element of our life or personality to be absolutely perfect, things rarely are. Be it your living situation, your body, or your personality, being perfect is a societal standard that most often is unattainable. But here’s a truth that when you wrap your head around it, will set you free. That imperfection is beautiful. That differences, be they minute or huge, can be a badge of personal honor. There’s a Japanese concept, “kintsugi”, in which broken items are mended with gold. The idea is that the thing ends up being more beautiful because it was broken and is now imperfect. It’s helpful to think about our lives in the same way.
2. Having unrealistic expectations isn’t good
Similar to the previous point, but perhaps a more pro-active angle is that managing our expectations in the first place can save you a tonne of mental distress. If it’s in your heart to be the next superstar, by all means go for your goal, but it’s important to take a step back and evaluate what is realistically within your capabilities.
Not only what are you actually capable of doing in terms of talent or skill, but do you have a realistic path to your goals. That promotion, that waistline, that skill, it’s important to set smaller goals that you upgrade throughout your journey until you reach the top. Setting unrealistic goals means that you will more likely feel dissatisfied unless you get the full package, and will more likely hinder your determination in the long run.
3. Nobody can make everybody happy.
It can be a noble venture to sacrifice your own happiness in the quest to make other people happy. However, like everything, balance is the key. It is possible to lose track of yourself and your own happiness if you’re solely focussed on improving other people’s lives. It’s important to maintain the balance in the effort you put into yourself, so that you’re better equipped to help others.
4. Nobody actually cares about what you’re doing.
Now this one sounds way more aggressive than it actually is, but actually this is one of the facts that will free you the most. We spend our lives concerned about what people think about us. What we wear. How we look, sound, think. We live filled with insecurity about the opinions of others but here’s the simple beauty that will free you: nobody cares. In reality, the amount of mind that people pay to the clothes you wear, what you look like or behave, so long as it doesn’t directly interfere with them, is very low. The best way to live your life is to be authentic to yourself, and trust that people’s opinions of you certainly don’t matter as much to them as you assume.
5. Just because you’re busy, doesn’t mean you’re being productive.
Do you ever get to the end of a busy day, then realize you actually have nothing to show for it? There are many ways that you could measure productivity, but let’s assume that it resembles completing necessary tasks. Just because you’re occupied, doesn’t mean you’re actually doing anything. Make sure to write checklists of things that you want to see checked off at the end of your day.
6. You can’t completely control everything.
As much as we wish we could attach strings to the ends of our fingers and attach them to every element of our lives to gain complete control of everything that seems to get a mind of its own, alas we cannot. It’s important to have the sense to know what we are actually in control of and what we are not. Many sleepless nights can be avoided knowing when you cannot control something, and thusly there’s no point in stressing over it.
7. Less is more.
Many people’s lives have completely changed after watching shows like “Tidying Up”, Marie Kondo’s how-to guide for simplifying your life. Specifically, her method of keeping things that “spark joy”, and throwing out things that don’t seems to really have helped people to separate the things they genuinely want and need, from the clutter. Being surrounded by a lot of “stuff” can actually increase anxiety and cloud your mental clarity. Having fewer possessions, that mean more to you, is another way that you can set yourself free.
What do you think? Can you think of any truths that when you come to terms with, set you free?
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