55 Hilarious life resolutions for kids by kids

Sometimes listening to a child describe their hopes and dreams for the future is charming and endearing. In other cases, that can be comical and even a little bit disturbing – like in this compilation of classroom bloopers.

Whether they are being sincere or cheeky, these students know how to make their parents, teachers, aunts and uncles roll in laughter. And it seems like no one had the heart to tell them just how unrealistic some of their goals can be.

1. Seems reasonable

Us too kid! Who wouldn’t want to live a life of luxury basking in playtime, someone else cleaning up after us and pure joy over the smallest things– squirrel. Good choice.

2. Setting sights high

Alina is a kindergartener who has a good head on her shoulders. In her class profile, she shares her strengths like good listening, creating, writing. Her future goals? She just wants to make a bowl of soup on her own. Is that too much to ask?

3. A slight misunderstanding

This elementary student simply wanted to express how proud she was of her mom – who sells things like snow shovels at Home Depot. Later, the mother provided this disclaimer to the teacher, Mrs. Nolan, “I wish to clarify that I have not now, nor have I ever been an exotic dancer.”

4. Dream big kid, dream big

We don’t want to crush this child’s dreams when clearly, everyone loves potatoes. But it’s possible this inspirational child is referring to his dream of being a couch potato – in which case, we don’t want to crush that dream either.

5. This kid is going places

It seems likely that this kid will grow up and one day reach their full potential, according to this preschool drawing. When they are so young, even the simplest things can spark a moment of creativity. Who knows maybe there is a future in the fashion industry for this one.

6. A twist on superheroes

“I’m not sure why, but I lost it after seeing my nephew’s response to what he wanted to be when he grows up,” wrote this user on Reddit. For the record, there is a black Spiderman character out there, but this kid still deserves some points for creativity.

7. First things first

“My 8-year-old self had his priorities in order,” is what this adult keenly realized looking back on their elementary school days. Given three wishes, most of us would probably include pizza, and there’ really not anything wrong with that.

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8. And speaking of food…

Literally, this is something you can’t argue with. Would any person turn down a taco? Would any person turn down a plethora of tacos? We didn’t think so.

9. A ‘foodie’ in the making

“My friend’s kindergarten student has real aspirations,” writes this Reddit user. It would appear that school lunches and lunchbox snacks are subpar. Notice the hilarious caption this kid has put on their cartoon that reads, “Help.”

10. Realism at its finest

“My son, the realist, brought this home with some of his kindergarten schoolwork,” wrote this parent. Few five-year-olds consider the brevity of life, or any other grim fact of aging. Well, it looks like Warren is pretty ok with it.

11. Dreams really do come true

“I had realistic dreams as a kid.” This adult posted a hilarious old photo to reminisce on simpler times. We can confirm that, yes, adults are able to cut their own food.

12. Wholesome life goals

“As his mother, I’m naturally glad he’s thinking about college (“collage”) at his age.. but goal #8 made my day.” True, because #8 reads, “Get a fat cat and make it be mine.” No one knows where this came from, but thanks for the humor, kid.

13. Proud sibling

If you grew up with Super Mario and Maro Bros., then you know just how important this personal goal would be. Plus, sibling rivalry is almost always involved. Props to this big sibling for their show of support.

14. The results are in

Does half the class want to be Batman? We have a couple of repeat princesses as well. Clearly some childhood movie characters are just too good to pass up. Either that or for the entire year there has been a competition over who’s the best batman.

15. Well ok, we haven’t seen this one yet

According to the story, a teacher asks her students to create a New Years resolution. When they spark a genius idea, they let their teacher know and it is written in permanent ink – Forever commemorated into the paper chain of childhood aspirations. The old saying, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest link” just took on a whole new meaning.

16. A frugal dream

You have to wonder what was this $3.50 item that was so important to the little guy. To be fair, if any of the rest of us found a few extra dollars lying around or in a coat pocket, we wouldn’t be complaining. Good luck to you, little guy, and may the riches of $3.50 come to you.

17. Say that again?

“I hope my 5 year old sister achieves her goals,” writes this Reddit user. Regardless of how realistic they may be, who would want to crush a moment of hope for this 5-year-old? Besides, in the age of fantasy novels and box office hit movies, she’s not entirely off-base with this non-typical wish.

18. 6-year-old priorities

A child’s drawing found at a school reads, “My New Year’s resolution is to get my dad to give my Skyrim back to me.” We all remember what terms of punishment were most undesirable as kids. For most kids these days, it’s the loss of a mobile or gaming device. And this kid is feeling it right to his core.

19. Don’t bother me, please

This kid actually as the right idea. Yes, having a multitude of friends could be nice, but let’s be honest. Too many people bothering you throughout the day simply isn’t worth it. So unplug the phone, power down the electronics and the stay-cation begin!

20. “Unless I’m eating fried chicken”

Ah, young love at it finest. And most angsty. Two 8-year-old love birds exchange a message back and forth. The reply? “Yes I am ready unless I’m eating fried chicken.” Seeing a potential problem, she replies, “So chicken is more important than me?” And the rest is too adorable.

21. A hundred years from now

So maybe this one gets a little dark. When Graham was asked what he will be doing in 100 years, he gives an answer none other than, “Breaking out of my tomb.” If anyone complains that we don’t teach kids logic enough in school then let Graham be a shining example.

22. At least it’s sincere

This child’s dream is that “there would not be killing or war.” It’s off to a fine start, even complete with a hand-made drawing of Dr. King himself. But then it goes on with a seemingly unrelated statement and you have to wonder what has prompted such a hilarious jump between the two figures.

23. A formal request

This child went to great lengths to ensure this situation was handled with the best interpersonal communication possible. In case you’re wondering, the salutation at the end reads, “Perfunctorily yours, Max.” Now, that should earn some points for both diplomacy and vocabulary.

24. Reading between the lines?

“My three year old daughter had her teacher write me a letter,” writes this mom. “Not sure what she’s trying to say.” Let’s just say this one doesn’t require reading between the lines because this mom got her daughter’s message loud and clear.

25. A sweet reminder

“A child left this note in a hotel room I cleaned today. Pretty solid advice.” Maybe this child was meaning to impart some life advice to unknown recipients, or maybe it was a daydream on a vacation stay. Either way, it looks like it includes ice cream, which means that either way, it’s a win.

26. Who wouldn’t want that

Some childhood career ambitions really do come true, so we applaud this little one’s dreams to go become a herpetologist. And the other things too, which are all sounding great until the end. Good luck with the breeding dragons, kid.

27. A cavewoman?

In case you are wondering, the supposed text would say, “Right Now Me” vs. “Future Me.” Her mother’s reply? “Apparently my daughter is going to be a homeless cavewoman when she grows up.” Maybe that’s a far cry from crowning Miss America, but it can’t be that bad, right?

28. An epic battle of Yorkies

It seems like what this kid is really hoping for is an army of Yorkies. Which to be fair, would be pretty fantastic if you were, let’s say, the ‘King of the Yorkies.’ For the rest of us, it seems a little terrifying, but you can’t argue it seems well thought out. It’s even complete with a drawing of, well, something that seems to be related.

29. Good priorities, bad spelling

“My sister asked her 3rd graders their priorities for the year.” This teacher simply couldn’t help but share the amusement with the internet world. Provided a little autocorrect, this 3rd grader actually has some great aspirations. Who wouldn’t encourage her to get better at math and reading?

30. A hometown dream

This is actually a rather accurate picture of retirement. Maybe this kid is describing someone he knows like grandpa and grandma and has fond memories of going out to eat with them. Or, he knows no one like that and he just happens to really like sweaters and pizza.

31. We’ve all thought it before

Kids are extremely good at saying what we are all thinking at times. Just wait until Albert grows up and realizes that every once in a while, adults want to stay home and do nothing, too. Unfortunately, we are no longer asked what we would like to be when we grow up, so we don’s have the chance to say it.

32. Is that so much to ask?

Someone snapped a photo of their 8-year-old nephew’s homework assignment. Kids love to dream big, if you allow them to. In order, the priorities are: Get a girlfriend, kiss her, and rule the world. We wonder if this would be easier if #3 came first, but you know. The steps of life don’t always work out perfectly.

33. Say what?

The caption on this Reddit post reads, “My 5 year old nephew’s list of his favorite vegetables. Kid has his priorities straight.” It seems like his parents might disagree, though. At least there’s always the ‘Five-second rule’ for ant questionable items off the floor.

34. Oddly specific, but ok

“My old school asked kids in preschool what they wanted to be when they grew up.” Everything appears to meet expectations. An athlete, a superhero, a princess, and so forth – that is, until the very last kid on the bottom right when he says, “A sprinkled red-frosted donut.” There are too many questions to know where to begin.

35. Marriage is off the table

“You need to get it together or you will never get married and that would be sad,” writes Rachel. “You should get married, just not to me.” Learning to say what we really mean the first time is actually a skill we have to learn as we grow up. Can anyone match the brutal honesty of a child?

36. And just like that, problem solved

When asked how the student got the correct answer to the previous question, they wrote it’s because of ‘my brain.’ The math checks out and quite frankly, so does the logic. At least this kid is trying to make his math homework a little fun.

37. Good intentions

This is quite the thorough questionnaire for elementary students. First, answer what you want to be when you grow up, then state how you are going to achieve this dream. This student’s hilarious numbered list just says it all.

38. Let’s try to aim a little higher

Are mailboxes handy? Yes. Should we aspire to be like them? Well, this is a question we never had to ask before this thought-provoking homework submission. And it’s memorable to say the least.

39. The rules were still followed

First of all, we are always trying to get kids to tell the truth and not lie. So, this kid should receive some credit at least for that. And how about the fact that the instructions require a complete sentence? “I never share” in fact, a complete sentence.

40. And speaking of honesty…

At the end of the work day, the last thing you want to find when you get home is the equivalent of another work day. Unfortunately for this kid, there was another sneaky pile of homework waiting for them, and they have let their complaints be known.

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