40 Ridiculously Funny Kids And Their Life Goals

Do you remember when you were a kid, and you wanted to be a princess, fireman, or doctor when you grew up?

Well, children these days still want to be all those things and more, but they also have very specific goals in mind for what’s in store for them in the “feuchr.”

Making it rain tacos, driving trucks in ninja turtle attire, and putting their fried chicken habits ahead of their girlfriend’s needs are just some of the 40 hilarious ways that kids are going to go far in this world.

1) “My kid is sharp…”

Totally relatable. If I had 100 friends I would put down the rotary phone and invite them outside to go play!

2) “My old school asked kids in preschool what they wanted to be when they grew up.”

The very last cutie had me at “sprinkles.” The red frosting and donut were just added bonuses! As for dreams of being a garbage man, don’t knock robot trucks!

@pinky0926:

“No kidding, I dreamed of being a garbage man as a kid also. When I was 4 and that truck would roll up every week and extend its amazing robotic arm to pick up the trash, I knew. I wanted to drive a robot truck.”

3) “Albert is going places.”

Forget Albert, he’ll be too lazy to ever be a problem. I’m more worried about David making his own fireworks!

4) “My friend found this on the floor of her 8th grade classroom.”

This is the sweetest love note ever! This boy says he’ll be there for his girl when she’s mad, needs to cry, or just wants to do stuff she doesn’t feel safe doing with anyone else.

There’s only one thing that can ever keep them apart…

His fried chicken habit comes first!

5) “Stand up for what you believe in.”

OMG I love “trains” too! It’s so nice that his parents let him play along in this rainbow parade in such a cute and cheeky way.

@Slinkman:

“The world would be better off if more people would walk around with signs that are showing what they love, instead of all the hate. Good thinking kid!”

6) “A hundred years from now…”

A hundred years from now this kid is going to break out of coffin jail and lead the zombie apocalypse! What can your kid do?

7) “Kid opposes Trump’s policies; just wants to Netflix and relax.”

Do you want to live in a world where there’s no Netflix? Didn’t think so. This kid knows how to get straight to the nitty gritty stuff that really matters in our lives.

8) “Since my niece could write her name, we have been mailing each other letters. We have both been pretty busy and haven’t sent or received in a while, but just got this today and this kid cracks me up!”

Her niece starts off by asking how her aunt is doing, but then she gets down to business. The booger kind of business!

“I regret to inform you that the last time I saw you, I could not deliver you my booger. So I will put it on the bottom of the page. P.S. I farted in the envelope.”

9) “Dream big, Dr. King”

It’s called collective consciousness, kiddo. We all have that dream where Justin Bieber just goes away!

10) “Some children give me hope for the future.”

Parents just don’t raise sharp-witted kids like this anymore. Perfunctorily yours indeed.

@accountabilitycounts:

“…he presents himself remarkable well for a child young enough to still be drinking juice boxes packed in a lunch box by his mom.”

11) “My three year old daughter had her teacher write me a letter. Not sure what she’s trying to say.”

Mom was putting one of those Babybel cheeses that’s wrapped in a wax wrapper into her daughter’s lunchbox. Since she couldn’t get it open, she wanted it gone!

@tarabloom:

“She’s kind of a control freak, like most three year olds.”

12) “My wife is a teacher and sent me this. This kid is going places.”

I guess that’s why plutonium is so hard to get a hold of, too. If you could just buy it at Walmart, everyone and their granny would be going back in time.

@MissTCShore:

“It worked for me. I went back in time and changed history. Bad thing is, now JFK got shot instead of being re-elected in ’64. Sorry.”

13) “Neighbor kid put this letter in my mailbox, I’m tempted to do it.”

The kid next door left him a note asking for a wifi password. Apparently, it’s not because he did anything bad and was grounded, but it’s because his mom is Asian.

“Parent will not let me use any wifi the whole summer. (She is a asian so yeah…)”

14) “So my kid has now realized the full potential of the little recliner we got him.”

I bet he already has a subscription to the new Disney+ streaming service already lined up. All he needs is a sippy cup holder in the armrest to hold his orange juice, and he’s all set.

@SaintVanilla:

“Come on Mom…I had a rough day at preschool. We’re already doing shapes. Shapes. Can I just have 5 minutes to relax, please?”

15) “I am a lawyer, my son told me he had to tell me something, but first wanted me to sign this.”

This looks like a totally airtight contract to me! The only thing it’s missing is the date. Don’t forget that, or dad has the right to get mad.

@EricTheAckActor:

“And father, please note clause 3.c. The ‘no take backs’ clause. – kid lawyer.”

And what they’re learning is that everything is a potential lawsuit.

16) “A child left this note in a hotel room I cleaned today. Pretty solid advice.”

Life advice from children is always super sweet. This one certainly seems to have their priorities in order!

@fordr015:

“When I was in middle school my teacher said dessert has 2 s’s because you always want seconds. But desert has one s because you only need to go there once. Now every time I have to spell theses words I think of that.”

17) “Kids in Cleveland these days…”

When someone asks for your street name, they’re not looking for your home address. Terrance, or Lil Tee, has already caught onto that game!

@411eli:

“Wow, that went waay over my head. I have zero street cred. In fact, I tried to buy it on eBay.”

18) “Wife asked students to list life goals. This kid has things figured out!”

Having a wife and kids is great, but it only comes in second place. Succeeding in herpetology is much more important. It lets him acheive the third goal on his list – breed dragons!

19) “Darnit Shawn!”

Good for you, Rachel! Stand up for yourself and break up with your boo if he doesn’t treat you right!

@phoenixsbane:

“Sounds like Shawn quickly realized his mistake, the moment when he asked her out.”

20) “Nice to know 13 year old me had his priorities straight.”

Hey, there’s nothing wrong with continuing education. Do you know how much money YouTube gamers can make?

After Redditers called this guy out by claiming that it was his mom, sister, and cousin in the photo, @HowDoIWorkThisSite replied:

“These were actually three of my brothers friends from 7 years ago. They made me take this picture when all I wanted to do was play Halo.”

21) “As a kid, I had my priorities straight.”

Well, at least he was getting some fresh air. But he still kind of missed the boat on this one!

@AerifiedVallah:

“90’s kids: we were better kids, we played outside PFFFFFFT”

22) “A kindergartner’s response to what she wants to be when she grows up.”

Be a good listener? Write about things that really matter? Count to 100?

Nah. Why hurt your brain with all that hard stuff when you can just go shopping and make soup.

@you_should_try:

“She’s going to be disappointed when she realizes carrots tomatoes and broccoli makes a shitty soup though. Dreams are never as good as you imagined once they are realized.”

23) “I might’ve chuckled a little too loud when I read this. The things children think and write about lol.”

Wait until you actually grow up, it’ll be the total opposite! You’ll wish you were younger, and talk about the good old days when you were 7 and life was so simple.

@Pemberton:

“I got annoyed when I got carded to buy alcohol (I was 30yo at that time), but now I miss being carded.”

Instagram/Gisele Garcia
Source:

Instagram/Gisele Garcia

24) “Apparently my daughter is going to be a homeless cavewoman when she grows up.”

This little one has a bright “feuchr” in linguistics! And if not, she can just use it as her street name.

@VideoFlyGuy:

“We’re all going to be spelling future as feuchr in the feuchr. It’s just so feuchristic!”

25) “This kid knows what’s up.”

No one tell him that there’s a dog park in Costa Rica with over 1300 strays. He’ll be plotting a takeover with his battalion of armored Yorkies!

26) “My nephew graduated Kindergarten today. He’s got big dreams.”

Hey, don’t laugh! Didn’t you want to ride in the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile when you were a kid?

Also, there’s this from @Debonaire:

“There is a gentleman that has a food cart downtown on a busy street corner. All he sells is hotdogs and sausages that he grills on the spot and cans of pop to drink. One of my head chefs knows the guy and tells me that he pulls in 90000 a year, which I didn’t believe until I was downtown early one day and saw him unloading a cooler from his Lexus.”

27) “My sister asked her 3rd graders their priorities for the year.”

Her self-portrait says that she already has the meth part down. Now on to the hardcore stuff, like reading!

@Deplete1:

“That’s a really rather balanced choice. Fun and work.”

28) “This little guy has life figured out.”

Are you pushing 100 and still waiting for the Grim Reaper to show you a way out? Well, you kill all that extra time by napping all day in your sweater, and when you wake up you can take your wife to Pizza Hut for dinner!

@OBEYTHEWAFFLEHOUSE:

“Is this the new American Dream?”

29) “My 8 year old nephew’s homework assignment. Priorities in line?”

Well, you can’t rule the world without a woman by your side, so the order looks good to me. But, he might want to kiss his girlfriend first. No girl wants to help rule the world with a bad kisser.

“First you get the jobs, then you get the khakis, then you get the women. It’s all about the khakis.”

Source:

30) “My 5 year old nephew’s list of his favorite vegetables.”

Meet Max. He’s the world’s first and only dog that can read and write!

@Mary Rose Kent:

“Just be sure to drop some lettuce and it’s all good!”

31) “Student’s predicted future…”

He must have been married in a past life. This time around when he spun the karma wheel, it landed on happy bachelor!

@spookiemulder:

“I would also like to live single on a flying squirrel forever.”

32) “My 8-year-old self had his priorities in order.”

I want a dinosaur, too! But I would totally let him wreck the world, and then make him bring me a million-dollar pizza when he was done.

@phantomsignal:

“I’m about to order pizza now.”

@gregsmith:

“I’m about to order some dinosaur if anyone is interested.”

33) When I grow up…

Guess what kid, you’re hired! I would love to have my Amazon packages delivered by a truck driver wearing a ninja turtle uniform.

34) Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up, Louisa.

Little does she know that it will happen in exactly that order when she hits menopause. She’ll be sipping mint water, crying about all the hormonal weight she’s gained, and then bam – the next day she’ll be waking up to overnight beard!

35) “I’m not sure why, but I lost it after seeing my nephew’s response to what he wanted to be when he grows up.”

Does he mean Venom, or a Spiderman who is actually black? If it’s the latter, that’s very forward-thinking of him. Become a movie producer first and make it happen, little man!

@tacotuesdayftw:

“Regular Spiderman can’t jump as high.”

36) In the future, it rains tacos.

You and me and a million other people, kiddo. Who cares about making three wishes? Let’s keep the taco dreams alive!

@calmchowder:

“Let’s all pray this kid finds a magic lamp.”

37) There’s just no other way to say it.

Because…puppies! Even if it doesn’t make sense, it’s the answer to everything.

38) Are you sure about that?

Are you sure about that honey? I’m all about sitting around and doing nothing all day, but not if it means being a toilet trophy for all the male dogs in the neighborhood.

39) “The NYE resolution of a 4-year-old… Me too, kid.”

Some kids want to be black Spiderman. Others want it to rain tacos. But this goal is totally achievable!

@Schatzberg:

“This was all I wanted my entire life. When I got Netflix on my iPod I knew my dream would become a reality. Then I got a hemorrhoid.”

40) “I will go to a vet [school] to be a vet until I am 20 than I will be a Engineer”

That’s actually a smart career plan. By the time she grows up, we’ll need vets who can treat robot doggies and kitties!

Instagram/themamaruns
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Instagram/themamaruns

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