Delivering a baby is no easy task. It is painful, involves lots of medical risks, and can be embarrassing if you are a shy kind of person. On top of all of this, one woman had a special cause of concern: her mother-in-law.
In-laws are known for causing trouble, to the degree that there was even a movie about it. The mother-in-law traditionally wants complete control over the situation, and she cannot grasp the fact that it is not about her. This is exactly the problem with the mother-in-law of the story here.
Nicole Cliffe is a writer who frequently comes across pieces of advice and shares them on her Twitter account. When she read this question posed for Slate‘s Dear Prudence, she was completely appalled.
I cannot BELIEVE I am only now hearing about this Prudie letter: https://t.co/UQuEmvWiaH pic.twitter.com/iavwDQiOP8
— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) February 6, 2018
“My son, Steven, and daughter-in-law, Julia, are expecting their first child and our first grandchild next month,” the woman, who was there called Second Class Grandma, began. She explained that she was “devastated” that Julia only wanted her husband and mother in the delivery room with her.
Of course, anyone who is even remotely familiar with the birthing process can understand the reasoning behind this. Steven is Julia’s husband, so he is her biggest support system. And her mother has been with her through thick and thin; there is nothing this woman has not seen, and she has stuck by her daughter’s side for her entire life.
The mother-in-law, however, could not grasp this logic. Instead she exclaims, ““I was stunned and hurt by the unfairness of the decision and tried to plead with her and my son, but Julia says she ‘wouldn’t feel comfortable’ with me there.”
Are you ready for the really frustrating part? Here it comes:
“I reminded her that I was a nurse for 40 years, so there is nothing I haven’t seen.” Okay. But the thing is, it’s her baby, her delivery, her moment. It’s not about your comfort, it’s about hers.
“I’ve tried to reason with Steven,” the woman continues, “but he seems to be afraid of angering Julia and will not help. I called Julia’s parents and asked them to please reason with their daughter, but they brusquely and rather rudely got off the phone.”
SHE CALLED HER DAUGHTER IN LAW’S PARENTS TO TRY TO GET THEM TO BADGER THE POOR WOMAN INTO LETTING HER ATTEND THE BIRTH
— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) February 6, 2018
Yes, you heard right. She badgered the grown woman’s parents, hoping that she could bully her way into the delivery room. If she wasn’t welcome before, she certainly isn’t now.
“I’ve felt nothing but heartache since learning I would be banned from the delivery room,” the dramatic woman pouts.
Of course, for many of us, the solution is simple. Accept the fact that you are not invited. Why doesn’t she understand this? Fortunately for her, Prudence had some outstanding advice.
“Let this go. Do not rob this moment of its joy by keeping score and demanding more.”
That is some solid advice for a frustrating situation. Hopefully the mother-in-law will realize that her grandchild’s birth is not all about her, and poor Julia can proceed with her delivery in peace.
Some Twitter users have shared similar horror stories from their past pregnancies.
If you are wondering what to do when a woman you know is pregnant, I have one piece of advice: Listen to what the pregnant lady wants regarding her delivery situation. If you do that, you’ll find that life is much easier.
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Source: Scary Mommy
