It’s never a great time when your stomach is feeling strange. You never know when it’ll hit unexpectedly, and your only hope is that there’s a toilet nearby somewhere.
This guy here? He’s been having that unwanted bowel business too, but thought of a way to get a laugh out of it. He had to get a little crafty, and pretty bold.
This is Cortez Hearns, and he’s a bit of a trickster. His whole YouTube channel is him pulling all kinds of jokes and pranks on his relatives, and the most common target is his grandma.
At the time of this video, Cortez had been dealing with that one bad case of diarrhea. For a week or so now. The old explosive pooping condition that we’ve all had to suffer at one point in our lives.
Now, when I mentioned getting crafty and bold, I wasn’t joking. Cortez’s grandma shares car rides with him a lot – the perfect place to trap in a funky, nasty smell. You see where this is going yet?
But he needs some uhh, physical traces to convince her too. Chocolate spread should do it.
Cortez himself is pretty proud of his plan. He’s smiling and ecstatically explaining it at the start of the video.
The real secret weapon in his arsenal is fart spray. It should be pretty clear what his plan is now. All that’s left is to put it into action. Oh, grandma, it’s time to go the grocery with me.
Cortez patiently waits in the car for his grandma to come back. With the camera rolling, he carefully wipes the chocolate spread onto the butt part of his pants. Just to seal the deal.
Yes, it’d be a lie to say it’s not disgusting. The chocolate is really what took it from a simple “Ew” to “Stay away from me”.
“I ain’t gonna spray it yet, you feel me? I’m gonna wait till she gets in the car.”
Truly, this is a man of his craft. And he’s doing this all for a crappy joke. Hey, Grandma, are you back yet?
The time comes. Now comes the setup. “I have to get the door fixed”, he says. The door’s not actually broken. He just needs an excuse to keep it locked later.
This man’s diabolical machinations are no laughing matter, clearly.
After some quick chatter with his grandma, he starts spraying the car with that foul odor. No more than a few seconds later, and his grandma is already flinching her face.
“What’s that smell?” and then an “Oh lord, let this window down” not long after.
“I can’t move, grandma. It’s coming”. Poor grandma is terrified now. “Oh lord have mercy”. What did his grandma do to deserve this?
He lifts his leg a bit so she can see the brown stains on his butt, and now her only thoughts are probably “Lord, get me out of this car”.
“Please hand me the paper towels over there, Grandma”. Now we witness the most sinister and nasty part of Cortez’s prank.
He pretends to feel his pants before wiping his fingers on grandma’s shoulder. The boldness of this prank is something else, I know.
Grandma freaks out and swats his hand away, obviously. She’s probably hoping this is a nightmare and that she wakes up soon.
And just you wait, it gets bolder.
Cortez isn’t done having fun. He fakes needing to open the window so he can crawl out. Meanwhile, grandma desperately tries to open the door, the same one he locked and told her was broken. Grandma probably feels like a passenger on a sinking boat trying to bust the window open.
Then, Cortez crawls to the back and gets his butt all high up in the air, with the brown chocolate stains as close to grandma’s face as possible. Now she’s screaming and trying to get the door open.
Come on, dude. She’s had enough.
“Stop boy, don’t put your hand on me!”
Grandma has been proper freaked out, but being the loving grandson he is, he finally lets her in on the joke. And he can’t help but laugh and show her how he set it all up.
He got her good. It’s only fair she laughs with him too.
And boy is he lucky that he’s too old to be grounded. With the screaming and the wiping that happened, grandma handled it like a good sport. It’s obviously way funnier when you’re just watching the video.
The setup and reactions here deserve all the attention it gets. Cortez’s video is down below. Play it, and hit share on this article too!
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