Dominic Sivyerโs grandfather, Tom Sivyer, was a big part of his life. Tom stepped in bigtime when Dominicโs parents split.
As a result, he and Dominic grew very close.
โMy relationship with my grandparents has always been unusually close. When my parents separated my grandad stepped in,โ Tom explains in his documentary for the BBC. โHe filled the gap that my dad left behind and we became inseparable.โ
So, it was extremely difficult for Dominic and Tomโs wife Pam when Tom was diagnosed with dementia. The change in Tom was drastic.
The kind-hearted man that Dominic knew was transformed into an angry and volatile man.
โHe would lose his temper very easily,โ Pam said. โSwearing, shouting. Just abuse.โ
Things got so bad that Tom was sectioned under the Mental Health Act and placed in a hospital against his will.
The law allows Englandโs National Health Service to throw you in an institution.
This government organization can detain you for up to six months against your will.
โHowever, there are cases when a person can be detained (also known as sectioned) under the Mental Health Act (1983) and treated without their agreement. The Mental Health Act (1983) is the main piece of legislation that covers the assessment, treatment and rights of people with a mental health disorder,โ the NHSโ website states. โPeople detained under the Mental Health Act need urgent treatment for a mental health disorder and are at risk of harm to themselves or others.โ
Dominic eventually started to document his grandfatherโs experience with dementia.
โI decided to make a film because I was trying to make sense of the illness that was making my grandad totally powerless,โ he told agespace. โIt was a very challenging time for me and my family and especially for him, so it was a way of gaining control over the situation. Filming was something I had done with him as a young boy, so it felt totally natural.โ
Pam felt like she could no longer care for Tom, so Dominicโs Aunt Becky agreed to take him in.
Tom and Pam were going through a rough patch.
โI donโt know I think weโve just fallen out of love,โ Domini said. โFifty years Iโve been with her. My world has collapsed.โ
Pam eventually moved out of their home and into a retirement village where she could receive more support.
โI tried to tell myself that I didnโt love him or I didnโt want him here but it wasnโt true,โ Pam said. โI was just kidding myself. I think I needed a bit of a break.โ
Pam decided to allow Tom to move into the retirement home with her.
Tom still struggles with his memory but his anger and mood swings have subsided.
This made it a lot easier for Pam to care for him.
โItโs very positive, they are in a very good place, and they are happy being back together,โ Dominic says. โI think he is very calm and feels quite settled in this new environment. She has got support around her, and I think thatโs made a tremendous amount of difference.โ
Watch Dominicโs short emotionally compelling short documentary below.
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