17 Of The Funniest Tweets Women Have Posted On The Internet

Some people, like the ignorant Christopher Hitchens, say that women just aren’t funny or as funny as men. However, sidesplitting women like Joan Rivers, Amy Schumer, Mo’Nique, and Judy Gold have, time and time again, proven this to be wrong.

If you’re looking for evidence of women being funny, just check Twitter and you’ll find women cracking hilarious jokes all day, every day.

Here are some of our favorite tweets from funny women:

1.) What Will It Take to Get Republicans to Pay Attention to Climate Change?

Apparently, referring to it as a fetus rather than a woman.

Maybe if we start calling it Unborn Baby Earth instead of Mother Earth republicans will be more concerned with its well-being.

— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 2, 2017

2.) When You’re Drunk and You Become Mother Theresa

Unlike some people…

Me? I’m amazing when I’m drunk. I give to charities and shit. https://t.co/Hfu89IFql0

— Bonnie McFarlane (@bonniemcfarlane) June 7, 2017

3.) Word to the Wise

What you see may startle you. You’ve been warned!

pro tip: never check your bank account at 8 a.m. after a long weekend without first drinking coffee

— Jen Doll (@thisisjendoll) May 30, 2017

4.) Some People Are Just Hurtful

So hurtful, they’ll go off and start a family just to spite you.

It’s crazy how far my high school boyfriend went to make me jealous- ignored me for 15 yrs & is now married with a kid. He’s not fooling me.

— beth argyropoulos (@bourgeoisalien) May 27, 2017

5.) When You Need a Human Touch But All You Have is Your Oven

Hey… whatever gets the job done.

DATING TIP: When you open a hot oven and get really close it feels like a hug without having to touch anyone

— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) May 31, 2017

6.) Tall, good job, great personality?

Nope… pass that Hennesey.

OK ladies, what qualities do you look for? #TipTuesday
https://t.co/P2wNagWXfJ pic.twitter.com/Id9w4W5JpK

— Loni Love (@LoniLove) June 13, 2017

7.) Back Off My Steez

Don’t you know I own crying?

A girl at my work is crying and I’m pissed because that’s my thing.

— Monica (@Monicann86) June 2, 2017

8.) Vegetables are NOT an Ingredient in Bagels

How dare you suggest such thing!

cut the shit, I’m not grinding up cauliflower to make a healthy bagel bite, I will see you in hell first. bagel hell

— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) May 30, 2017

9.) It ALL Sounds Good

Whatever it takes to get you away from my desk.

95% of having a job is just saying “sounds good!”

— Jessica Misener (@jessmisener) June 1, 2017

10.) Some May Even Call It Evil

I call it delicious.

My boyfriend made brown sugar candied bacon which is the food form of dangerous and unbridled desire

— Mary-Devon Dupuy (@DevoDupuy) May 30, 2017

11.) When Going Through Your Inbox is Like Sinking Into the Depths of Hell

A job for only the bravest.

It’s all fun and games until you have to catch up on email

— Brit Bennett (@britrbennett) May 30, 2017

12.) Wherreeee Isssss Itttttt?

In your damn hand fool.

I want to watch video of every time I’m talking on my phone and simultaneously looking for my phone.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) May 31, 2017

13.) Years… in years please.

For the rest of us non-toddler having folk.

me: how old is your baby?
her: 46 weeks
me, struggling w/the math: may i offer him a beer?

— Erica (@SCbchbum) June 1, 2017

14.) Holy Sh*t, Do I Have Two Tampons In?

I… just… don’t… remember.

When I put in a new tampon and five minutes later think, “but did I take out my old tampon?” pic.twitter.com/8gMeZspIvn

— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) May 27, 2017

15.) Stop Complaining

Just… stop.

for those of you mad about a female-only showing of “Wonder Woman,” remember that for 100s of years you got male-only showings of “voting”

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) May 30, 2017