Sure, most of the time the saying is true that “the past should stay in the past,” but these old-fashioned insults are funny enough to bring back. We’ve pulled together 50 of our favorite old-time put-downs. Some of them are just completely extinct from everyday language, others are on the endangered list, perhaps you may have heard one or two before, but all of them are underused and either so funny or so clever that we think are worthy of reviving.
Enjoy the list and enjoy adding a little fun to your vocabulary.
1. Afternoon Farmer
Everyone knows farmers are supposed to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to get their work dawn. But the afternoon farmer is known as a person who is behind on their chores and lets opportunities pass on by them. It is believed to be coined by President Teddy Roosevelt, who was known to be one of the funniest United States presidents with his vibrant and colorful sense of humor.
2. All Hat and No Cattle
We’ve all met someone like this: all talk but no action. The phrase started with people who dressed in the fashion and style of cowboys, but actually had no experience on a ranch. They like to “talk the talk without walking the walk.”
3. Bedswerver
It is believed that Shakespeare possibly was the first to coin this phrase that referred to a person that was unfaithful in marriage. Once you realize the definition the words themselves become self explanatory explaining it in a very clever way.
4. Bespawler
This is a person you never want to invade your space bubble as they are one who spits when they talk. Whether out of excitement or too much saliva, they have a way of “showering” with a kind of love no one really appreciates.
5. Blunderbuss
As the name suggests, a blunderbuss is a person who makes a lot of “blunders.” Whether is through speaking or physical movement, it’s just a person who is all around clumsy.
6. Chickenhearted
Calling someone a “chicken” is a term we still use today, but it originated in the late 17th century and refers to a person who is easily scared. Whether due to fear or reluctance, generally it is calling a person a coward.
7. Clack-Box
You know that person that just talks and talks and talks at length about trivial matters? Now you have an old-fashioned word to call them: A clack-box. This person talks continuously without really saying anything of value at all.
8. Cow-Handed
At one point another, we’ve all had moments where we’ve felt awkward. Perhaps it was in middle school, a first date, or being nervous at a job interview. But a “cow-handed” person doesn’t ever seem to outgrow it. Whether it’s socially or physically, they are just clumsy and awkward.
9. Cumberworld
This is an old word that is believed to have come from the late 14th century. It means any thing or person that encumbers the world without being useful, suggesting they are just “taking up space.”
10. Cupboard Lover
A cupboard lover used to be a sneaky way of calling someone fake. It comes from a person being nice only for the purpose to gain access to the food in your kitchen.
11. Dalcop
A person that wasn’t know to be the brightest person in the room used to be called a dalcop.
12. Dew-Beater
This 18th century word was for a shoe of especially large size so consequently referred to a person who was large and clumsy.
13. Driggle-Draggle
Back in the day when a woman didn’t keep her home or herself neat and tidy, she was referred to as a driggle-draggle.
14. Duke of Limbs
This word is a very illustrative way to talk about someone who is very tall but also very awkward.
15. Flibbertigibbet
Someone who is known to be a gossip always chattering used to be known as a flibbertigibbet. It was also referred to a person who is flighty and whimsical.
16. Fopdoodle
A person that keeps making one foolish decision after another but never seeming to learn from their mistakes used to be called a fopdoodle.
17. Fussbucket
Some people fuss around so much they could literally fill a bucket with their complaints. Now you know the old fashioned term for them: a fussbucket.
18. Gillie-Wet-Foot
This funny term came from Scotland and refers to a person who gets into debt and then runs off from their responsibilities.
19. Ginger-Snap
You know that hot-headed person that gets angry at the drop of a hat? If you lived in earlier times you would call them a ginger-snap.
20. Gnashgab
This 18th century word is for the person who never sees the bright spot anywhere but is always in constant complaint.
21. Gobermouch
This originated in Ireland and is perfect for the person who is nosy always interfering in other people’s business. If you know a prying person like this, now you know they used to be called a gobermouch.
22. Go by the Ground
This one is as descriptive as it gets. The person who is very short, whether man or woman, used to be known as go by the ground.
23. Gollumbus
Sure, we all know some clumsy people that just lack grace in the way they carry themselves. But if that person you know is also large in stature, then the old fashioned way to refer them is gollumpus.
24. Greedy Guts
You know the person whose eyes are always bigger than their stomach? Next time you are around them and they eat way too much you can call them greedy guts.
25. Grumbletonian
You might be able to guess this one, but it sure was more fun and descriptive back in the day. You got it right – it’s a person who is always discontented and complaining about whatever is going on.
26. Heathen Philosopher
This saying arose from the old philosophers that thought it to be vain to dress nicely would take it to the opposite extreme with their clothing and dress very shabbily.
27. Klazomaniac
Know that person that just can’t keep their voice down and seems the only way they can talk is by yelling? If you do, now you know the old term for them (and not to ever bring them to the library.)
28. Leasing-Monger
This old word was used for someone who was a habitual liar who spread untruths or falsehoods.
29. Minikin
Back in the 1700’s if you knew someone who was very small, delicate, and dainty you would call them a minikin.
30. Muck-Spout
This person not only talks way too much, but they also use swear words in excess.
31. Out at the Elbows
This expression dates back to the late 1500’s and means a person who wears clothes that are shabby, worn out, and torn.
32. Quisby
Probably at one time or another, everyone has worked with someone who shirked from their work and responsibilities. Instead of being industrious, they just lazed around. Now you know the old fashioned term for them: a quisby.
33. Raggabrash
Ever walk into someone’s home that is just cluttered, messy, and completely disorganized? The type of person that lives like that was once called raggabrash.
34. Rakefire
Benjamin Franklin famously said that guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. This word has the same meaning. Back when fireplaces were used more for heating homes than just for decorations, if someone stayed so late the coals in the fireplace would need to be raked over, it refers to a person who simply outstays their welcome.
35. Roiderbanks
We all know the person who has champagne taste on a beer budget. A roiderbank describes someone just like that who always seems to live beyond their means and spend more than they really have.
36. Saucebox
Ever been around someone who is always interrupting a conversation thinking what they have to say is far more important than the person speaking? Now you know you can call them a saucebox.
37. Scalawag
If you know someone who is mischievous but in an amusing way that really doesn’t cause any real harm, then the next time you see that person you can call them a scalawag.
38. Shabbaroon
A person that doesn’t dress well and also just has a negative spirit about them used to be referred to as a shabbaroon.
39. Skelpie-Limmer
The Scottish poet Robert Burns coined this phrase and it refers to a misbehaving child that should receive correction.
40. Slug-a-Bed
The person that just can’t seem to get themselves out of bed in the mornings – the one we would refer to as a sleepy head? The old time use for this person was called a slug-a-bed, which is a much for funny and descriptive way to describe them.
41. Smell-Feast
You know the party crashers? Well, back in the day they were called a smell-feast. Magically they seemed to know when a meal or party was being planned and they would show up expecting to be fed.
42. Smellfungus
You know the person who always finds a way to be a buzz-kill and find fault in any place they visit. Instead of looking for the things to appreciate, they look for any fault around them to complain about. The ancient name for them used to be a smellfungus.
43. Snoutband
This is one of the more descriptive ways to describe a person who is constantly interrupting a conversation or thinks they have to contradict everything that is said in their presence. They are the classic know-it-all.
44. Sorner
Back in the day, when a person was always mooching off another with lodging and food without being appreciative of the help, they were called a sorner.
45. Stampcrab
Know a heavy-footed, clumsy person that lacks in grace? Now you have the old time word to describe them.
46. Stingbum
You know that stingy person that tries to get out of paying for a meal? Or perhaps its someone who never wants to give to an charity or collection for someone? Now you know you can call them a stingbum.
47. Thou Dost Infect Mine Eyes
Shakespeare gets credit for this insult meaning the mere presence of the person is so offensive it hurts your eyes. Our modern day way of putting it is “Get out of my sight.”
48. Triptaker
Ever been around a person who is always finding fault and excessively concerned with the minor details? If so, back in the Old English vocabulary days, they were referred to as a triptaker.
49. Unlicked Cub
Back in the day, if a person got called an unlicked cub it referred to a young person who was rude and not taught proper manners. It comes from the tradition that when a bear cub is born into the world it doesn’t appear to have its proper shape until its mother licks it into form.
50. Whiffle-Whaffle
When a person just can’t seem to make up their mind and wastes a lot of time going back and forth, the old time word to call them was a whiffle-whaffle.
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