40 Outrageously Funny Notes and Texts from Horrible Neighbors

We all understand the immense value of living near people we like (or at least tolerate). Good relationships with neighbors can make life wonderful. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true. A truly terrible neighbor—seemingly from the 5th circle of hell—can make life miserable. And their communication skills are atrocious.

Point taken

Someone please buy this person a coffee or a good drink for saying what everyone else was thinking.

Should have been more careful

While you’re at it, don’t forget to receive the blackmail that comes in your name.

Consider yourself warned

There are others who would walk over and pee themselves on their neighbor’s yard to get their point across too.

Very formal

You’d think this was a scene in “Bridgerton” or something the way they make announcements.

Passion play upstairs

But yeah, tighten those screws and put rubber dampers or something. No need to announce how “active” you are.

Lost and found

Think twice about keeping such friends though. No, but seriously, please do.

Shame on you, lady

Stealing is not cool, but stealing books? Plant something disgusting in a book and watch the scene unfold.

Isn’t he going blind?

Let him stare if that’s true, it’s not like he’ll be able to make out what he’s seeing.

Copy, paste, send

Awkward but hopefully Ashley is a beauty and that this was a way for them to meet each other. “You had me at chainsaw.”

How about no, Karen

So invite more kids for playtime and watch her tear her hair off alone.

Weird, creepy, wrong

In all seriousness, what planet is this guy from? March yourself down to the police station.

Now we want cake

It’s like all that rage is infectious, spreading to all the others. Go get some cake, guys.

The audacity

Hook up exploding lemons on that tree then sit around with the detonator.

Jack it up to send a message

Lift up the rear end so the owner will be forced to talk to you. Smart, right? No?

There are such people

If you can operate a phone or a car, then you can operate the compacter.

But not today

In an ideal world, we would all know and like our neighbors. We would strike a perfect balance between maintaining privacy and being social when we want. We would also resolve any issues that arise with diplomacy, clear communication, active listening, and a willingness to compromise.

Early riser

Not everyone is self-aware enough to recognize that they might be causing problems for others.

At least he confessed

It’s not like the wife is going to admit and apologize, or anything….

Good luck

“If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.” – Liam Neeson

The peeper

Every 23rd Spring, for 23 days, it gets to… Well not eat, but he does deserve a beating.

Clever comeback

She could have at least asked one of the guys to buy her a new bed.

No vax, no snacks

Well they didn’t say which vax anyway, so just tell them you got one for the sake of that barbecue.

Just so wrong

Many people struggle to handle these challenges and miscommunications gracefully and calmly. Today, fewer people know their neighbors compared to decades ago.

That handwriting though

That grand finale should come with epic music and fireworks to match the spectacle.

Fight for Chinese food

This would make for a great martial arts showdown in the apartment.

Karma personified

You reap what you sow. What goes around comes around. Hell hath no fury… You know the rest.

Read between the lines

If lines are missing, then read those too. Poor Missy being left out though.

How about now?

Finding or creating common ground can help solve future problems more easily. You might even end up becoming genuinely cordial in the future.

That’s some dog

If that dog fits through that crack then he must have caught a legion of Taliban fighters.

Temper temper

Make an effort to connect with your problem neighbors, even on a superficial level. It’s harder to be unpleasant to people we personally know and like.

How about no

Trying to act like a lord won’t get you any favors around here.

A picture paints a thousand words

Or maybe just a few choice ones when dealing with such people.

Talk about self-absorbed

Seriously, during COVID, construction and many other activities were put on hold. We all faced hardships.

Insensitive much?

But writing like a kindergartner won’t help your case either way.

Whose side are you on?

This sounds more like party goers clashing with introverts. Like those high school movies we all know and love.

Hopeless case

Get up after midnight, get under the car, drain the oil, then watch and wait.

Another brat around the bush

“Keep in mind he lives in a shed in his mom’s backyard like ten feet away from my fence. He’s also the same guy who blows through the stop sign and flies around the neighborhood like he owns it. Man, I hate tweakers.” – Instagram

The dog did

Reply with a bark then pee on the door as a response to the message.

Dump more water

Not on the dog though. Wait for the neighbor to come out so you can baptize them.

Tis the season

Not sure how this spreads holiday cheer but it’s the thought that counts, right?

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