Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and as evidenced by these 75 hilarious marriage Tweets, it comes with a lot of challenges. For or better or for worse, so they say. Luckily, these couples have been able to find massive amounts of humor in the trials and tribulations of being married.
These Tweets donโt sugarcoat anything at all โ this is what marriage is really like. Hint: itโs not all sunshine and rainbows like you see in the Disney movies. From dealing with snoring problems to differing views on how to approach grocery shopping, this list covers all of the inevitable ups and downs that marriage entails.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
1. Room Temperature
Partners often have differing ideas on what to set the thermostat at. No matter whether itโs set on hot or cold, someone is always going to be displeased with the results. That much is guaranteed.
Source:
TheCatWhisprer
2. Heavy Breathing
Little things like how your significant other breathes often turn into big annoyances over time. How you handle the situation is up to you, but letโs just say some things arenโt easy to correct.
Source:
usermcuserface
3. Cat Costumes
Household chores can wait. At least according to this husband. He found something more important to do โ something involving the family cat.
Source:
KalvinMacleod
4. Sleeping Issues
Your feelings for your partner can change in an instant. Thatโs what this Tweet proves. Although, ultimately, if your love is strong, it can endure any problem.
Source:
Six_Pack_Mom
5. Dinner Duty
If you are going to offer to make dinner, donโt expect any thanks. Especially if itโs the first time that youโve done it in over a decade. You should at least try to make cooking dinner for your spouse a yearly thing.
Source:
GrantTanaka
6. Mismatched Couple
In many relationships, there is always one person who is considered more beautiful than the other. Itโs tough to admit it, but thatโs the way it is. Sometimes, people might even try to rub it in your face.
Source:
charliedemers
7. Meal Decisions
Just because you are asked a question doesnโt mean that your opinion is valid. Hereโs a tip, husbands: your wife is always right, no matter what. You better listen to her!
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
8. Playing Around
Itโs important to make time to play with your kids. However, if you use playtime as an excuse to get out of chores, it probably wonโt go over very well with your spouse. It is a pretty funny technique though.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
9. First Aid Joke
Playing practical jokes is a great way to keep marriage fun and exciting. Although, some things you probably shouldnโt mess around with. For example, first aid kits.
Source:
iwearaonesie
10. Brain Usage
This husband is a total comedian. He doesnโt even realize it. It just comes naturally to him, even when his brain isnโt functioning properly.
Source:
GrantTanaka
11. Question Loophole
When it comes to answering questions, there is a loophole. It will definitely work for a while, but eventually, your partner will probably catch on. Thatโs what this husband discovered.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
12. Taking A Trip
Time apart from each other can be good for a relationship. After all, it means less opportunity to get into arguments. Although, eventually, the vacation always comes to an end.
Source:
ericsshadow
13. Who Wants What
If these Tweets prove anything, itโs that deciding where to get dinner can be extremely difficult for a lot of couples. Itโs a common marriage problem. Thereโs not a great way to approach itโฆ
Source:
michelleames
14. Sentence Completion
When you live with someone for a long time, you really get to know them. You might even find that you know what the other person is going to say. You can finish each otherโs sentences.
Source:
TheAlexNevil
15. Extra Toilet Paper
Remember back when you were just dating any didnโt know your husband or wifeโs bathroom habits yet? Yeah, those days are long in the past. Once you are married, nothing is off-limits.
Source:
MUMSIEesq
16. New Pet
When it comes to getting pets, everyone in the family should be in agreement. At least, thatโs how it works in theory. In real life, it doesnโt always play out that way.
Source:
3sunzzz
17. Communication Problems
The foundation of a good marriage is communication. However, it isnโt always easy. When in doubt, you can go to coupleโs therapy to get some help.
Source:
ericsshadow
18. Romantic Daydreaming
What is the right answer to the question, โWhat are you thinking about?โ. This husband knows the answer. Do you?
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
19. Crying Baby
Once you have a baby, everything changes. They instantly becoming priority number one. You constantly have to be aware of the babyโs needs and be prepared to comfort them.
Source:
david8hughes
20. Doing Dishes
Dishwashing duties can be a source of frustration, but the dishes still have to get done one way or another. Donโt be one of those people who uses up every last dish in the house before deciding to wash them. Itโs not a good look.
Source:
TheCatWhisprer
21. Big Win
What is important in life and what isnโt is up for debate. For some people, video games are the most important thing. If that sounds like you, itโs okay, just donโt tell your significant other or your kids that.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
22. Frivolous Spending
Deciding how to divide up the household finances can be a constant struggle. How should the money be spent? Itโs an important question to ask.
Source:
dafloydsta
23. Ugly Baby
Showing off a new baby to friends and family can be a point of pride for parents. However, not all babies receive the same amount of compliments. Some are cuter than others.
Source:
david8hughes
24. Movie Knowledge
This couple knows each other extremely well. They are even able to answer seemingly impossible to answer questions. Thatโs how close theyโve become over the years.
Source:
My_Kapowski
25. What Is Marriage?
There are multiple ways to sum up marriage. However, this one takes the cake. The Twitter user totally nailed it.
Source:
mel_evans
26. Laundry Machine
Two popular types of laundry machines are washers and dryers, but did you know there is also a third type? You shouldnโt mention it out loud though. It can ruffle some feathers.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
27. Secret Changes
If the house feels hotter or colder than normal but youโre not sure why, this Tweet could hold the answer. We imagine that it probably applies to a lot of situations. What do you think?
Source:
Six_Pack_Mom
28. Picky Eaters
What do you do when every answer you have is wrong? Thatโs what this husband is trying to figure out. His wife often gives him a tough time with his dinner choices.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
29. Hunting Wolves
Never try to lie to your partner. Itโs almost guaranteed that you will get caught. There are a number of different ways that your partner can figure out what you are actually doing.
Source:
hardlyrelevant
30. Crunch Crunch
One of the most annoying things to deal with is when your loved one chews really loudly. With certain foods though, it is unavoidable. There is literally no quiet way to eat a potato chip.
Source:
imdaintyaf
31. Schedule Confusion
Keeping track of plans isnโt easy to do. When youโre married, there is always something on the schedule. From date nights to shopping trips, there is a lot to remember.
Source:
david8hughes
32. Morning Rituals
Once you have kids, your marriage is going to change a lot. The new focus is the kids, one-hundred percent. Even if it means chugging your coffee instead of enjoying it and always being in a frantic rush to get to work.
Source:
simoncholland/
33. Shower Surprise
Privacy is something that goes out the window when you get married. There is no space you can go to escape. Your husband or wife might even burst into your shower occasionally to harass you.
Source:
iwearaonesie
34. Smart Shampoo
According to this husband, even his wifeโs shampoo is smarter than him. Itโs a good position to take. That way, if anything ever goes wrong in the marriage, he can just play dumb.
Source:
AndyAsAdjective
35. Sharing Is Caring
Marriages always start off with great intentions. You plan on being a completely equal and sharing couple. However, things definitely evolve over time.
Source:
TheCatWhisprer
36. Stealing Food
If your husband orders food, it is automatically fair game for you to sample some of it. That is this wifeโs motto, at least. She does it all of the time when she and her husband are out together.
Source:
mommy_cusses
37. Useful Degree
College can be a big expense for a married couple. Whether itโs worth it or not is up to the individuals involved. However, going back to school can be a great decision, as long as you make sure to use your degree once you get itโฆ
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
38. Welcome Home
When you walk through the door after work, there is nothing better than seeing your spouseโs smiling face. Hopefully, though, they donโt have bad news to tell you. That could kind of ruin the mood.
Source:
david8hughes
39. Sleep Disruption
Some people are deeper sleepers than others. Normally, itโs noises that disturb people during their sleep. However, not in this householdโฆ
Source:
wife_housy
40. Losing Track
Part of being a parent means supervising your kids so that they donโt get into trouble. However, you need to know how many kids you have first. Otherwise, youโll never be able to keep tabs on them.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
41. Picking Up Milk
A sense of humor can come in handy. This husband uses his to get out of running errands. Yes, heโs a bit of a smart-aleck, but heโs also totally hilarious.
Source:
LeBearGirdle
42. Dog Movies
Everyone likes watching late-night television, including the family dog. The only problem with letting the dog watch is that he doesnโt have opposable thumbs. He canโt switch off the power with the remote when he is done watching.
Source:
iwearaonesie
43. Car Trouble
When things go wrong with a car, itโs great to have someone in your life who knows how to troubleshoot the issue. Thatโs why this wife loves her husband. He is always there to assist her when things go wrong.
Source:
moooooog35
44. Mispronounced Word
You can always rely on your partner to point out when you are pronouncing words wrong. They wonโt let you live it down. Although, if they arenโt clear in their corrections, itโs their fault, not yours.
Source:
ericsshadow
45. Searching The House
The wife is normally the one in the household who knows where everything goes. If there is an item the husband canโt find, he asks her. Without her guidance, he would be totally lost.
Source:
WorkingMom86
46. Late Nights
There can be all sorts of different reasons for staying up late. For this wife, itโs because she has to take care of her husbandโs mess. Meanwhile, he gets to relax, drink a bottle of wine, and eat.
Source:
LurkAtHomeMom
47. Constant Coughing
Being married means you are there for your partner in sickness and in health. Although, some people are really surprised by just how much sickness there is. It can be non-stop in some cases.
Source:
bourgeoisalien
48. Perfect Ornament
Christmas is one of the merriest times of the year. It can be so much fun decorating the tree and picking out ornaments. Although, no matter how bad you want an ornament, remember, stealing is bad.
Source:
iwearaonesie
49. Folding Laundry
There are multiple techniques for folding laundry. This man has a four-step system. As long as he follows it, everything turns out okay.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
50. Mercurial Desires
Understanding what your spouse wants can be difficult. Especially when what she or he wants is always changing. You have to read between the lines.
Source:
TwoSapphiresBlu
51. Burnt Cooking
Families that cook meals together stay together. It doesnโt have to be good cooking though. Itโs about spending that quality time with each other.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
52. Feminine Products
There is nothing more awkward than a husband buying tampons for his wife. It can make guys so uncomfortable having to go shopping for these sorts of things. However, thatโs just part of being married.
Source:
sarcasticmommy4
53. Scratched Up
A scratched back is often a sign of sexual activity getting out of control. Although, not always. Sometimes, there is another explanation.
Source:
iwearaonesie
54. Hot Coffee
Marriage and coffee are more similar than you might expect. Thatโs what this husband realized recently. His comparison is quite accurate.
Source:
yoyoha
55. Playing Dress-Up
Itโs always cute when dogs get dressed up in costumes. Although, there is such a thing as going overboard. When your little dog gets put in a sweater, Rudolph antlers, and socks, its probably crossing the line.
Source:
RodLacroix
56. Pikachu Outfit
Similarly, humans can play dress up too. Itโs this husbandโs favorite activity. He always uses the same costume and it never gets old.
Source:
Rlpihl
57. Heated Conversation
Just because an argument happens doesnโt mean that you are mad. Although, it could mean that. And oftentimes, even if you didnโt start out mad, you end up mad anyway, unfortunately.
Source:
sarcasticmommy4
58. Starting Chores
Putting off chores is easy to do. They just arenโt very fun to complete. Although, no matter what, someone is going to have to end up doing them, even if that someone isnโt you.
Source:
Mr_Kapowski
59. Friday Nights
When you are dating, weekends are a big deal. It means going out and doing activities and having fun. When youโre married, that often changes. You become more boring.
Source:
pazarm
60. Not Mad
Here is another couple who have problems decoding when one of them is mad and when they arenโt. It can be quite complicated. Things arenโt always as straightforward as they seem.
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LurkAtHomeMom
61. Kitchen Garbage
Taking out the garbage is one of the most detested household chores. It often gets put off until the last possible minute and there is always going to be some debate over whoโs turn it is to take it out.
Source:
ian_mendes
62. Lottery Winner
What would you do if you won the lottery? Would you quit your job? If so, just make sure the winnings are enough to support you and your family for a significant amount of time.
Source:
david8hughes
63. Big Plans
Some couples watch Netflix on Friday nights. Other couples drink wine and talk politics. The coolest couples though are those who stay at home and argue about trivial things.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
64. Shopping Fun
There are not a lot of husbands out there that enjoy shopping. Yet, they often get drug along to the store anyway. Even if itโs not their favorite activity though, most of them are still able to find a way to keep busy.
Source:
iwearaonesie
65. My Cat Your Cat
In this household, both the wife and the husband each have a cat. It is a constant battle whose cat is better. The two of them are very opinionated on the issue.
Source:
DrMikeLloyd
66. Final Approval
The wife always gets the last word on anything. Thatโs the rule. Husbands who donโt abide by it are going to have a problem.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
67. Video Substitution
What should you do when you are caught watching a bizarre video online? It depends. However, one good strategy is to claim you are watching something slightly less bizarre.
Source:
lionheaded_
68. Lengthy Stories
Husbands and wives often have different ideas about how long conversations should be. Some people fall in the short and sweet camp and others fall in the detailed and wordy. Which one is right? Weโre not sure.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
69. Pizza Hog
Sharing food can be a point of contention between a husband and a wife. Do you share your pizza or not? That is the question.
Source:
KalvinMacleod
70. List Of Vows
One thing youโll learn is that your marriage vows donโt cover everything. There are a lot of things that arenโt included on the list, yet, youโll have to do them anyway. Thatโs just how it works.
Source:
XplodingUnicorn
71. Married Sexting
Just because you get married doesnโt mean you have to stop sexting. Although, the sexts might be a little different now than they used to be in the past. They become less sexy and more practical.
Source:
WilliamRodgers
72. Clean Underwear
When it comes to doing laundry, there are multiple strategies. You might find that you and your spouse have differing opinions on the best ways to approach the situation. Some are more costly than others.
Source:
londonsma
73. Holiday Fun
Itโs always fun to participate in seasonal activities. That means decorating the house for spring, summer, fall, and winter. It also means enjoying the other benefits that come with the seasons.
Source:
simoncholland
74. Wedding Vows
The vows at your wedding are meant to be serious. They are meant to show your significant other just how much you care about them. Although, not everyone sees it that way.
Source:
VictorPopeJr
75. True Love
Once youโre married, a lot of the romance slowly fades. It is replaced by real life. There are other issues to deal with that are much more pressing.
Source:
TheCatWhisprer
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