Some might see failure as a negative thing but retired soccer star Abby Wambach, who is also an Olympic gold medalist, sees it as fuel.
That’s one of the things she told the graduating class of 2018 at Barnard College, a New York women’s college, during her commencement address.
In her speech, she told women to be fearless and to confidently pursue their dreams, even if that means breaking or going against the status quo. The soccer legend outlined four rules for success for graduates in her talk. Rules we could all live by.
“Like all little girls, I was taught to be grateful. I was taught to keep my head down, stay on the path, and get my job done. I was freaking Little Red Riding Hood,” Wambach said.
“The message is clear: Don’t be curious, don’t make trouble, don’t say too much, or bad things will happen. I stayed on the path out of fear—not of being eaten by a wolf—but of being cut, being benched, losing my paycheck. If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: ‘Abby, you were never Little Red Riding Hood, you were always the wolf.’”
Her first rule advised the graduates to let failure propel them rather than hold them back.
“Non-athletes don’t know what to do with the gift of failure. So they hide it, pretend it never happened, reject it outright — and they end up wasting it,” she said.
Listen: Failure is not something to be ashamed of, it’s something to be POWERED by. Failure is the highest octane fuel your life can run on. You gotta learn to make failure your fuel.”
She also told the women of Barnard College to “Lead from the bench.”
“You’ll feel benched sometimes too. You’ll be passed over for the promotion, taken off the project — you might even find yourself holding a baby instead of a briefcase — watching your colleagues ‘get ahead,'” she said. “Here’s what’s important. You are allowed to be disappointed when it feels like life’s benched you. What you aren’t allowed to do is miss your opportunity to lead from the bench.”
She then told a story about how her teammates told her that her presence, support, and relentless cheering them on from the bench helped to give her team the strength to win the World Cup.
That lead her to her third rule: “Champion each other.”
“As you go out into the world: Amplify each others’ voices. Demand seats for women, people of color and all marginalized people at every table where decisions are made. Call out each other’s wins just like we do on the field, claim the success of one woman as a collective success for all women,” she said.
“Joy. Success. Power. These are not pies where a bigger slice for her means a smaller slice for you. These are infinite. In any revolution, the way to make something true starts with believing it is. Let’s claim infinite joy, success, and power — together.”
Her fourth and final rule told the graduates that they shouldn’t wait for opportunities they should take it, and even demand it if necessary.
“Women, at this moment in history, leadership is calling us to say: ‘Give me the effing ball. Give me the effing job. Give me the same pay that the guy next to me gets. Give me the promotion. Give me the microphone. Give me the Oval Office. Give me the respect I’ve earned and give it to my wolf pack, too.'”
You can see Wambach’s full speech in the video below.
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