“Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks; Dad, make sure that my ass don’t get smacked!”
While these clearly aren’t the original lyrics to the classic 1908 Tin Pan Alley tune, I’m thinking they should be— especially after reading this shocking tale of baseball game inappropriateness and one dad who was out for revenge!
On August 9th, 2017, Redditor Scoot_Ya_Boot took to—one of my favorite subreddits— /r/ProRevenge to describe a tale of justice and revenge that has had the internet cheering from the sidelines ever since!
The anonymous Pennsylvania father begins with some background information, explaining that he was a secretary for the softball Booster Club at the time of the events. Recently, there had been a scandal involving the board stealing a lot of money from the Club, but things had been settled off the record, with a repayment of the cash and the replacement of the board’s president, Steve.
By all accounts, Steve was a pretty reputable guy in their small town.
He had lived there his whole and even had his name printed on the baseball field. Because the money scandal had been settled off the record, nobody but the people directly involved were aware of the shenanigans, and although he was fired from his presidential role, the Booster Club still allowed him to coach softball.
The father explains, “Most people still really liked him, and he wasn’t a total douche at the time.”
The poster’s perception changed, however, when he started noticing that Steve was getting a bit too touchy-feely with the girls he was coaching. Although it started with small things like hugs, the father was particularly perturbed during the 6th or 7th game of the season, explaining:
“My daughter Carrie [name changed] CRANKS a ball against the left field fence, and she gets a stand-up double. We all cheer, moment over. Next three girls walk, and Carrie ends up on 3rd. As she’s readying for the next pitch, Steve, as the 3rd base coach, leans up to her, says something to her, and smacks her on the butt.”
Oh. Hell. No.
Papa bear is fuming, but he waits until after the game to address Steve. The coach says that he will not do it again. But, the Redditor writes, “Happy ending? Nope.”
Only two games later, he is at it again.
The father explains, “I’m sitting behind the fence on 3rd base line, and he does it to her in the batter’s box. As a boisterous parent, I yell, ‘Steve!” When he looks over, I shake my head ‘no’. He nods and pumps his palm to the ground to say “chill out”. I let it go.”
That’s not good enough for Steve, however, who begins bashing the father to everybody who will listen, even going so far as to say that his children suck at baseball during a heated Booster Club meeting. The father, however, has some aces up his sleeve.
It turns out Steve and his daughter are in charge of running the Civic Centre and Little League, and it’s rumored that they have been skimming some funds from the top. So, Steve does what any wronged father would do— he contacts the FBI.
After a thorough investigation, Steve, Steve’s daughter, and Steve’s son are all charged, having stolen over $120,000 between the 3 of them. As a bonus, Steve’s wife also leaves him, and his name is removed from the baseball field.
Fellow Redditors seem to love this father’s tale of perfect revenge, upvoting the story over 36,000 times. Although the original post has since been deleted, we’ve managed to get a web archival copy using WayBack Machine, and it can be read in its entirety below.
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