As a parent, a person takes on many roles. In addition to being “Mom” or “Dad,” a person is also master chef, head of housekeeping, chauffeur and butler. They are their child’s biggest fan and greatest critic. They are their support and champion whenever they need to be, but most importantly of all, they are protector. A parent will try to protect their child from any number of dangers and injustices, and while many of us can control what happens at home, we cannot protect our children from outside influences–such as other children and parents. This is something Christine and Shane Stephenson learned the hard way.
Christine and Shane have a six-year-old boy named Reilly. To them, they were fortunate in that their son was born right around the same time as all their friends’ children. They envisioned playdates and backyard BBQs, birthday parties and holidays spent with their friends from childhood–and watching their own children become just as inseparable. Unfortunately, that is not what happened.
In addition to being born with a beautiful mane of curls that would make any Pantene model green with envy and a personality as rich and colorful as a rainbow, Reilly was born with autism. He is non-verbal and hardheaded, and while Christine and Shane love their child just as fiercely as if Reilly didn’t have autism, they are not shy about discussing the challenges that come with raising an autistic, non-verbal son. In fact, Christine operates a blog in which she shares their struggles, offers advice when she can and, more importantly, solicits advice to help her through her days.
However, everything would have been easier if they had the love and support of their close friends. Sadly, that love and support were nowhere to be found. Instead of all the birthday parties they imagined spending together, they got the exact opposite: Not one. Single. Invite.
This past year, Shane started to notice a disturbing trend: pictures on Facebook of his friends’ kids birthday parties to which he and his family were not invited. At first, it was one friend, and then two, until he realized that all of his friends seemed to conspire together to oust the Stephenson family. Well, he wasn’t about to let their actions go unnoticed. In one epic, F-bomb filled Facebook rant, he let all of his so-called “friends” know exactly what he thought of them.
“Right so this has been brewing for some time so here it goes and you can like it or fucking well lump it,” he begins. “My son Reilly has autism not fucking leprosy. He is six years old and my so called friends who have kids also have kids’ parties. Not ONE invite not fucking one. Think about that whilst you go and fuck yourselves; have you any idea how hurtful that is?” For Shane, his friends’ callousness is a double gut punch, as not only is he forced to watch as his child is intentially left out, but he has to watch as the people doing the leaving out are his “friends.”
“Just for the record,” he concludes, “in the future don’t bother he’s not an afterthought he’s my every fucking thought.”
BOOM.
Though the Stephensons didn’t find the support they wanted from their circle of friends, they did receive an influx of encouragement from strangers.
Though these parents don’t have any advice, they let the Stephensons know that they’re not alone, and that it’s not just their friends that suck–it’s most people.
This lady asks all the important questions.
And this lady sums up the situation perfectly.
According to Christine, some of Shane’s buddies have reached out to apologize and that those that did were rightfully embarrassed. “A couple of friends have responded absolutely mortified that my husband felt like that,” she says. “Moral to this story is just ask — there’s a chance we will decline if we deem it too much for Reilly but he loves a party even if it’s just for half an hour.”
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