What is the true definition of “consent?”
In recent times, the conversation surrounding sexual assault and rape has undergone new levels of discussion and analysis to determine where the boundaries are. Defined broadly, consent usually means that both people participating in a sexual act are freely willing, able and comfortable doing so. This means there is no sense of coercion, no use of force and an extremely clear communication of “yes” throughout the entire process.
Still, many technical circumstances have people confused or unclear about the definition of consent.
One Twitter conversation about the limits of consent recently went viral.
It began after user @_leannnicole responded to one of user @icexqueennn’s tweets, saying that regretting the decision to have sex is not the same as rape.
Still, despite the point she had made, the original poster doubled down on her point of view.
The @icexqueennn account has since been deactivated while @_leannnicole has gone private.
Needless to say, the exchange had emotions fired up before others started chiming in. One person, in particular, gave an example which shows the flawed logic in the argument:
Before anything else, it’s worth mentioning that consent is absolutely vital in all sexual encounters.
If anything good is to come of sex, both parties need to be fully agreed in the moment to proceed with their decision—and that means not under the influence of drugs or alcohol, not being emotionally manipulated into a decision and not getting a “yes” after hearing “no” a bunch of times first.
With that in mind, the idea that consent can be retroactively withdrawn is a dangerous one.
Having sex with someone requires trust and vulnerability on both ends of the exchange.
As the user pointed out, the important factor in determining consent is that both parties made a conscious decision to say “yes” without manipulating factors involved. If two people decide to sleep together and one doesn’t particularly enjoy it, they may regret the decision. If they find out later that the person they slept with is actually not a great person, they may also regret that. Still, that does not mean that that person sexually assaulted you.
Still, the argument is important because it brings up potential grey areas surrounding consent.
In her rebuttal, the user says that if you end up regretting a sexual experience then you didn’t actually give full consent. Though this isn’t true on the surface, it does have an important subtext. The takeaway is that consent needs to be carefully and fully given in a situation to avoid any potential regret later. Though it’s difficult to comment without knowing the full details of the encounter, the discussion remains an important one. What do our readers think? Tell us in the comments below.
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