We all have one: that one ex who just doesn’t get it. While most or your exes have happily fallen into either the “just friends” category or “fallen off the face of the earth” category, there is that one–usually the ex that did you wrong or the one that made you shudder–that always comes back for more. However, whereas it used to be easy to ignore an ex (just don’t answer the door, duh!), today’s technological world makes it more difficult to brush aside a past lover. And that same technology makes it easier than ever for them to reach out to you.
If you’re tired of your ex making in appropriate advances via text, social media or even email, follow the cue of these 30 brutally honest and amazingly witty individuals:
1. When failing to answer doesn’t quite send the message.
2. When your ex sends you an inappropriate sexual innuendo, fight it with an even better one.
3. When auto-response says it all just perfectly.
4. When people need to be reminded that they’re really not all that great.
5. When you need to call someone out on their BS and insult them at the same time.
6. When your ex is trying to act like they hate you but in the process, reveal their secret.
7. Can I just kiss this woman? #SpiritAnimal
8. When your ex is being a perv.
9. When, you know, your ex is an idiot.
10. When getting back together is so far beyond the realm of possibility.
11. When your ex is most definitely father of the year.
12. When your asks for directions.
13. When your ex wants to ruin your day, ruin theirs instead.
14. When you want to be sweet back but then remember how they did you wrong so say F-it.
15. When death is preferable to talking to your ex.
16. When your relationship is to that point where you can just be really candid with one another.
17. When simply telling them it’s never going to happen is not enough.
18. When your friends lend a helping hand.
19. When your ex texts you empty gestures too late.
20. When you need to remind your ex where his place is.
21. When you want to let them down as much as they let you down.
22. When your ex apologizes for all the wrong shit.
23. When you need to remind your creepy ex just exactly what your relationship was (or wasn’t).
24. When pointless information is really the only way to respond.
25. When an “eye for an eye” is a suitable motto.
26. When “don’t get mad, get even” applies.
27. When you need to quickly put a big-headed ex in their place.
28. When you can finally be honest about your relationship.
29. When your ex is confusing AF.
30. And when YOU were keeping tabs.
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