Weddings are magical moments in life and for many, bridesmaids play an essential role in making that magic happen.
Lisa Torres found herself in the spotlight after her ‘bridesmaid expectations’ letter went viral on TikTok. Her goal was to help other brides and bridesmaids deal with the daunting to-do list. Torres knew from experience just how costly and time-consuming typical ‘bridesmaid duties’ can be. From hair and make-up to dress hunting and bridal showers…being a bridesmaid takes commitment, a good sense of humor, and cash money.
Lisa’s video was in response to a TikTok which said: “When you agree to be a bridesmaid, without realizing it’ll cost you three whole paychecks and every second of your paid time off for this year.”
Lisa felt that she could help others be more upfront about what really goes into being a bridesmaid including event commitments and costs. She shares in her video that before she got engaged, she wasn’t aware of the costs and expectations involved with being a bridesmaid. She knew she wanted to be more transparent when she became a bride.
“I felt very insecure doing this, but I’m ultimately glad that I did…and that was including a letter of what I expected from my bridal party.”
Lisa’s main goal was to make things easier on everyone involved so there are fewer questions and better communication. She included her letter in her bridesmaid’s proposal box, which included some gifts for each chosen friend. The letter offered guidance on what they needed to pay for and what Lisa was willing to provide for them.
“I also specified money commitments, so I told them I would pay for their hair and makeup, but that they would be responsible for the cost of the bridesmaid dress – although they had freedom over what style they wanted, I just asked for a specific color.”
Lisa also added a question and answer portion to the letter that her friends could use if they were unsure of their responsibilities. One of the anticipated questions included, “Do you expect me to make any appearance changes (dye my hair, lose weight) for the wedding day?” Lisa’s response was a simple “No, That’s weird.”
Lisa made sure to include the most important message in her letter.
She wanted her friends to know that they could turn down her bridesmaid request if they felt the commitments were too much to take on.
“I told them that they could say no to being a bridesmaid, that we would still be friends and they could still keep all the gifts in the bridesmaid proposal box,” she said. “One of them said no and we’re still good friends.”
People may have differing opinions about Lisa’s letter but one thing is certain, she wanted her friends to have all the information with no surprises or regrets.
“I thought it would impact a couple people, but I think it might have a larger impact than that, and that’s great. I think in general, communication is good. Relationships end because of bad communication. If (the letter) could help people, then I’m really happy about that.” – Lisa Torres
Now watch this video highlighting Lisa’s viral TikTok.
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