Life
After 13-hour workday husband asks, 'What can I do to help?' Shareably
The letter completely changed my perspective.
Dani Halteman
08.04.20

Balanced and loving relationships take a lot of work. Work that includes open and honest communication, working to balance the give and take, and noticing all the little things we do for one another that makes being together so special. For one wife, she made sure to take notice when her husband returned from his 13-hour workday in 90-degree weather and said to her as soon as he walked through the door,

“I’m home. What can I do to help?”

So in appreciation and admiration, she decided to share this unconditional love shown to her and share it on her blog called Love Play and Wine.

Jessica Maddux
Source:
Jessica Maddux

She begins her blog post by describing this specific day that he walked in asking her what he could do to help her but yet she recalls that he recites this to her often. However, this is the time she took more notice of it and enough to share with the world. As she begins she realizes that many women out there may think that men like this do not actually exist to which she says,

“He is not a “unicorn”, men like these exist. The kind that wash the dishes after you cook, who do the yard work because he knows you hate it, who work 60+ hour work weeks and still comes home and plays with his kids and gives his wife a kiss and asks what can I do to help.”

Source: Photos by Tatiana Syrikova & Orione Conceição from Pexels

Jessica notes all the little things her husband does without even having to ask him. Little things that she may not have even asked him to do in the first place but these are the little things that help balance the weight of raising a family between the two of them out of the unconditional love and kindness of his heart. She continues to list,

“Who gets up some nights to change the babies diaper while I get ready for a night feeding, who gives the kids baths and puts them down for bed, who spends his weekends with his family, who cracks a cold one once the kids are down and plays farkle and rummy with his wife.”

Source: Photo by Migs Reyes from Pexels

We all know how exhausted we can be from working a 60+ hour work week, especially, if we are working in the sun. Coming home sometimes all we want to do is lay down relax and tune out the entire world. However, life at home and taking care of the kids can be just as exhausting.

Source: Photo by Kelvin Octa from Pexels

Each carries its own different stressors and demands physically and emotionally. But it’s relationships like these that are shared with us that remind us of how important it is to work to help each other in even the littlest of ways to lighten the load when we can.

Source: Photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels

Jessica continues in her post describing her relationship with her husband and acknowledging all the things he does to maintain their relationship and family,

“Leader of the home, an equal partner with his wife, provider, protector and hands-on father. I’m so glad I married this man and that he also acknowledges my hard work at home with two kids, nursing, cooking, and cleaning. We take care of each other its 50/50 and we are raising our boys to be men, just like their father.”

Source: Photo by Emma Bauso from Pexels

She then finishes her post by addressing all the women reading her blog by saying,

“I see so many women cry and complain that their partner doesn’t help with the kids, bills, housework, give them any attention, etc and my heart breaks when I hear “oh that’s men or I just deal with it and suffer”. Ladies that isn’t a man, make him do better or find better! If you got a good one that treats you like a Queen then treat him like the King he is.”

Source: Photo by Tristan Le from Pexels

As her post has now gone viral, Jessica came back to her original post to add an edit to acknowledge some of the comments she’s been getting. As usual, when posting things on the internet she received both positive and negative feedback. She does note that she was receiving some beautiful messages back from people who her post had resonated with, however, she also received feedback from some people who mistook what she posted about and the meaning she intended. She writes,

“I do a lot for my husband and children and I do not just sit there while he does the dishes (I do them multiple times a day). I was actually nursing our son to sleep and came downstairs to him finishing the dishes so we could have quality time together once the kids were down. Like I said in the post that some are missing, its 50/50 marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. My husband and I both take care of each other and are very happy.”

We are truly happy that Jessica took the time to share her loving relationship with her husband reminding us to take notice of all the small things we do for one another. Especially, when we are exhausted ourselves it’s doing little things like this that make our relationships all the more balanced and loving.

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