Do you remember the first pair of shoes you wore as a child? Probably not. As kids, we didn’t really care about what our shoes looked like. We just needed something to run and play in.
As we grew older and more conscious of our appearance, fashion and price started to play a big role in our choices, often at the expense of comfort.
Some people, however, are playing a different game. We don’t know what rules they are following and we can’t tell what they’re thinking even if we tried. Here’s an homage to people in their own shoe league.
#1 Crocs?
This is what you get when you ask someone to make a pair of crocs that they’ve never seen or heard of before. Maybe show them a picture next time.
#2 If you have the time
Our biggest concern with these isn’t how horrible they look, but how much time it takes to wear them. First, grab yourself a pair of white Nike socks and some black boots. Next, carefully balance yourself over a pair of golden heels before bending over to tie your black boots to said golden heels with some rope. Can you do that in one attempt?
#3 DIY
One of the key pillars of DIY is to use readily available materials in your home. How hard can it be to find these? Why not give it a try?
#4 Missing the point
The only reason anyone should be allowed to waste a perfectly good pair of gloves for this sort of thing is if the result is something comfortable. Now, gloves were designed for your hands, not your toes. I’m not wearing these, but I can already tell these aren’t comfortable.
#5 Is that legal?
Ignoring the hideous hooves for a minute here, let’s turn our attention to the makeshift heels. Those look like real guns to me. Do you need a firearm permit to wear these outside?
#6 You did your best
At this point, why try? It’s not creative, and it’s not comfortable…it’s just a mess. We will give points for it being wearable, as demonstrated, but that’s the best we can do. Go home and wear real shoes.
#7 Safety hazard
There is no one who can wear these without getting hurt a few minutes later. There is also no way those strapped laces can hold those shoes together.
#8 Do you need them?
If you don’t intend to wear your shoes on your feet, why bring them at all? Now, unless this is some new way to show off an expensive pair of heels you just bought, you need to stop.
#9 His and hers
For men, wearing long pants that fall beyond your ankles could work with these. The front half does look like a normal pair of shoes. For women, if you don’t mind being seen with these outside, your choices are limitless.
#10 Get your size
No, this isn’t fashion or creativity. Wearing a shoe that’s three or more sizes smaller than your foot is not trendy either. Get your size.
#11 Not bad
We can all agree that this isn’t the worst pair on the list. However, will that light bulb hold? The weight of your body should be enough to break it. Then what?
#12 A hunch
First, they fit. It’s hard to say they aren’t shoes; we can all clearly see that they are. However, something’s off. We can’t imagine more than a handful of men (or women) standing in line for a pair of these.
#13 Very accurate
We were going to rip this one apart, but it’s poetic. Anyone wearing flip flops and calling them shoes may as well just take them off and walk barefoot.
#14 Fire hazard
From the outline on the socks, we can deduce that this person is wearing some sort of sandals with these heels. My guess is the white socks, which will be hard to clean, are what’s holding it all together. What are the lighters for?
#15 A crime against humanity
We can all agree that sandals and socks should never be together. If you have both, you shouldn’t store them in the same room either, just so it’s clear. We can almost hear Channel’s legal team writing up lawsuits against the poor soul who thought this was okay.
#16 Having it all
Sometimes, you just want to relax and throw on some sneakers instead of heels to go to work. What if you could have both the comfort of your favorite sneakers and the powerful aura that only heels can provide?
Well, it doesn’t exist. Trust me. This is not what you’re looking for.
#17 Pointless
To begin with, It doesn’t look good at all. Your medication and money all over the place just looks messy. Let’s not forget the trouble you’re drawing to yourself if the wrong people see how much you have on you.
#18 You’re wrong
We can all see that this is a normal shoe worn the wrong way. It’s not comfortable and doesn’t look good either. I doubt your shoe will hold up if you wear it this way.
#19 Ouch
That can’t be comfortable for anyone, can it? Ballerinas need about two to four years of training to use their feet in that position comfortably.
#20 That can’t be right
They look like blizzard shoes designed for people who like to wear sandals. Now, unless you don’t need your toes anymore, I don’t see how that can be practical.
#21 For stylish clowns
Obviously, the checkmark on these isn’t a legitimate Nike logo, but what if it was real? We’ve seen luxury brands get away with worse. What’s to stop Gucci or Nike from releasing their own line of clown shoes and making a killing from it?
#22 Hideous
Toad water shoes are already controversial enough without wearing them with sandals. They were designed for beach and water sports, but you can trust people to ignore the fine print and wear them to work and weddings. But why the sandals?
#23 Cowboy Cha Cha
Do you love dancing but hate how sweaty your feet get immediately after? Well, this was designed specifically for you. This way you you can burst your moves while your toes breathe.
#24 Three in one
What do you get when you merge blizzard boots, crocs, and toad water shoes? It’s just like putting your milk in a bowl before your cereal. It doesn’t hurt anyone physically, but it’s enough to ruin everyone’s day.
#25 Cleaner finish
We’ve seen this one on the list before, the spawn of sneakers and heels. This one, however, isn’t so ugly. Don’t get me wrong, it should be a crime, but you can’t deny that more work went into this design.
#26 Careful
Wearing plastic wrap helps your skin absorb medical creams better when you have a problem with your feet. In this case, I’ll hold off in ripping her choice apart. However, wearing it as shoes isn’t a good idea.
#27 Give it a chance
One of the biggest flaws with wearing flip flops is that it raises the chances of you stubbing your toes by 100%. Knowing this, millions of people across the world still willingly take the risk. This design offers some welcomed protection.
#28 Murphy’s Law
There’s an endless list of things that make it difficult for these to be used. It includes the accidental phone calls, damage to the screen as you walk, the awkward stares you’d get every time you take off your shoe and raise it to your ear, the risk of contracting some sort of disease every time you bring it to your face, especially if you live in a city…it’s a long list.
#29 Who are these for?
Why was the two-toed hoof necessary? As for the cigarette, that can’t be hygienic.
#30 Outrageous
It’s hard enough dealing with a world where flip flops are acceptable day shoes, and then someone had to make these. They are white and very absorbent. Good luck keeping your feet dry.
#31 For balance
These shoes are a great option for people who lean forward often. The extra bit offers more support. Although, one concern would be stairs…
#32 Rock bottom
Sure, crocs are great for some professions like nurses. It offers some extra cushioning as the stay on their feet most of the day. For everyone else, though, I don’t see how you can wear these without your dignity seeping out of the holes in them.
#33 Chic
There’s nothing glamorous about camping or the outdoors. You may be sweaty and smelly half the time, but that doesn’t mean you can’t bring some style with you.
#34 We feel your pain
These shoes look good and aren’t cheap. This is someone trying not to get blisters. We can’t entirely blame her.
#35 Get the band-aids
Glass can be sharp. Every time those slip in between your toes, there is a chance they will draw blood. This is a potential torture device.
#36 Feel it yourself
They’re goofy and fun. It’s the sort of thing people will laugh about when they see them in your house. Would it feel like your feet are getting massaged as you walked in them?
#37 Get flip flops instead
These were designed for people who couldn’t decide between wearing shoes or flip flops. The shoes aren’t bad; the creepy long toes on them are the problem here.
#38 Pick a side
There shouldn’t be grey areas with shoes. If you want to wear sneakers, you should wear sneakers. If you’re in the mood for heeled shoes, then wear heeled shoes. This just encourages indecisiveness in the world, and we don’t need more of that.
#39 Look away
We can all agree that socks should go nowhere near open shoes. Now, these may feel like boots, but they are still open. Taking socks off may not remedy this situation, but we have to draw a line somewhere.
#40 A dentist?
Dentists are reasonable people, let’s not drag them through the mud. The only reasonable explanation here is the tooth fairy. She left in a hurry and forgot her shoes.
#41 Priorities
This is what happens when you spend all your money on new iPhone releases and have nothing left to buy a decent pair of shoes. Prioritize.
#42 Why not?
It’s not for adults, so I don’t see why kids can’t have some fun. Do they come in vans?
#43 Honest opinion
They look great, you can’t deny that. But ask yourself this, why is the model on one of her knees? The answer: you can’t stand in these without breaking a few bones.
#44 Despicable Me
Grown-ups can have a little fun too. There’s no shame in being a minion fan.
#45 Do they work?
They are an eyesore, but you can’t help but wonder if they do work. What’s more alarming is the skateboard. Can you really ride a skateboard in these?
#46 Speechless
Her outfit does match her shoes, that’s something. Her confidence is commendable. You almost feel like there’s nothing wrong here.
#47 That’s odd
These shoes, without the toe outline or nail polish, would be amazing. It’s another case of a little too much.
#48 Here’s why
These are selfie shoes. You’re meant to stick your phone in the gap of the shoe and raise your leg to get the shot. Isn’t that what selfie sticks were for?
#49 Spring in your step
If you jump in these, do you go higher? Does it feel like your leg is being catapulted every time you take a step?
#50 You can, but should you?
Yes, it can open caps with ease, but is that the only reason your buying these? We can’t imagine anyone willingly offering their shoes for this service at a dinner party or backyard barbecue.
#51 Gross
The problem here is the choice of material used to make these shoes. It should come with a warning label, “DO NOT WEAR IN THE SUMMER.” Toes and dampness are not good together.
#52 Go math
Are tired of getting bills that just don’t add up? You didn’t bring your calculator with you? Just wear one of these and pull them when you need them.
#53 Not bad
Obviously, it’s not for everyone, not everyone has the confidence to wear these. But considering everything we’ve seen on the list so far, this is very normal.
#54 A shoe for your shoe
Is this a protective tool for white sneakers? I can’t believe I’ve been complaining about socks in sandals this whole time.
#55 Try again
The fact that there is no foot in this shoe says a lot. This wasn’t meant to be worn. I’m sure it looks worse when the meatball and spaghetti start to grow mold.
#56 How to ruin crocs
Crocs aren’t bad shoes, they are very comfortable. The problem is people wearing them in places they shouldn’t be worn. Slapping the Balenciaga label on them and calling them “designer” crocs doesn’t make it okay to wear them everywhere.
#57 Are they alive?
Do you need to water them regularly? Do they wilt if left unattended? How long can they last?
#58 Heatwave shoes
First, those look heavy. Have you ever tried holding a bunch of ice cubes in your hand? Every step will feel like steel needles slowly being driven through your flesh. No, thank you!
#59 Halloween
This would be great for the quiet guy at the office who doesn’t feel comfortable showing up to work in very loud costumes for Halloween. You could dress up in a full suit, wear this, and no one would notice.
#60 Something extra
There is no logical reason for making these or buying them. Sure, pull out your phone and take a few pictures, but leave them in the store. How large does the box have to be for these?
#61 DIY roller blades
You can tell that these were old boots that got repurposed into rollerblades. Can they hold? They look great, but are you willing to bet your two front teeth on it?
#62 Pikachu
They are wearable, but I’d prefer to have them as a memento of a time when Gameboys were all the rage. As long as it’s not on anyone’s feet, it’s pretty cool.
#63 Which way are you going?
It’s confusing and doesn’t look comfortable. We wouldn’t call it the worst on the list, but it isn’t good either.
#64 That’s not furniture
It’s safe to assume this isn’t from the IKEA we all know and love. We all love IKEA, but the world would be a better place without these shoes.
#65 Explain yourself
What do you call shoes that are also pants? Shants? What are the zippers on the side meant for? What do you do if you have to take off your shoes?
#66 We have a winner
Sure it’s an odd design, but it isn’t that bad to look at. These are practical for the beach or the pool. I’m not mad about these.
#67 What a waste
These shoes would be great without the two-toe-hoof design it has. What brought us here? I’d really like to know why this is happening.
#68 Ankle breakers
That can’t be good for her posture. It’s no secret that she isn’t comfortable in these either.
#69 I stand corrected
We previously declared the convertible flip flop/sneaker the winner of the list. I take it back. You’re wearing white sneakers and white socks on a muddy field – what do you do? Ziplock bags.
#70 A cure for flip flops
Obviously, the fish theme is a bit too much. But other than that, this is a shoe we can get behind, provided people wear them appropriately.
#71 Trade in your purse
It makes sense. You and your friends want to go out for some fun but are afraid you’ll lose your purse or phone in the process. It’s an odd pair of shoes, but it works.
#72 Only if…
It only makes sense if it’s part of an elaborate costume. We’d even go so far as to call it impressive, but only if it’s part of a costume.
#73 Saving the earth
It’s hard to be mad at someone who made these out of old jeans just so they wouldn’t go to waste. They actually look comfortable.
#74 Dancing shoes
Kids would really enjoy these. What a great and fun way to bond with your kids at home. Wearing them outside your home is crossing the line
#75 Whatever it takes
This has nothing to do with style. He just needs to get across a flooded street. It works, you can’t not be impressed.
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