Nowadays, having a child is no joke. Having to raise a mini-you takes a lot of sacrifices, commitment, love, and most importantly, financial security. Parents would tell you that everything has changed for the better in their lives ever since they had their first child despite their troubles and frustrations.
Others simply avoid the entire calamity in the first place. Whether its financial reasons or commitment issues, there are some folk who refuse to even enter the thought of having a kid when they themselves haven’t fully grown yet. These 75 tweets will show you just how strong some of these childless folk think when it comes to not having a kid.
If you’ve been thinking of having a child recently, you may be dissuaded by what you’re about to read.
1) No Child Left Behind?
Parental duties can be cumbersome and overwhelming for many. Seems this person felt lucky to dodge that seemingly inevitable bullet. Hopefullly his child-free trip ends in joy and satisfaction from not having to feel burdened.
2) What Money Can’t Buy
Those who are childless definitely tend to splurge more regularly than those who are committed. A seasonal sale is a single person’s biggest weakness. It’s easy to of course get carried away from time to time, but having a kid makes it radically more difficult.
3) Baby Back Switch
This post is questionable to say the least. We get that all babies exhibit mostly similar behaviors, but that’s like finishing a school project and awarding random grades to everyone despite their effort! Let’s hope the stork keeps delivering the babies to their respectful houses.
4) Baby’s Bug Life
5) Salad For Singles
An admirable and humble thing to say. It’s a pill most of us in our youth avoid swallowing. It speaks volumes when a baby still in maturation decides to make more babies when they still have so much left to go to reach full maturity.
6) Hold My Baby
Babies can be the cutest thing or the grossest thing to exist, according to some at least. It’s not a pleasant feeling when the former is true and you start looking like Ron Weasley when he picks up a horrendous vegetable. If you’re one of those people, just remember you have the civic right to deny their request.
7) You’ve Got Some Stones
Never underestimate the heart of a consumer. They’ll purchase every worthless thing and reassure themselves that it’s not going to their non-existent child. Must feel nice.
8) No Reason For Seasons
Legend goes that those without children breath stressfree air. If you live in a fun place like Los Angeles, then they seem to never know how to stop having fun regardless what time of year it is. The secret to a young and eternal life might not be the fountain of youth, but instead, it’s going parentless.
9) One Is Too Many
Children do really have a huge impact on our sanity believe it or not. One can turn the tide of our mood from calm to completely hysterical in the blink of an eye. This person agrees that the global quota of children has already been reached.
10) End Of The Line
Not having a child is actually a calling for some people. And that’s perfectly okay! After all, nobody is forcing you to pass on your bloodline for any reason whatsoever. You’re free to decide your life and how you procreate it.
11) Gu Gu Ghastly
It is pretty terrifying to think you’re now responsible for the life of another human being. So terrifying in fact, that it caused a bit of shock horror in this Twitter poster’s face. Just imagine how mortifying it must be for a parent to through with a little munchkin.
12) Childless Cost Efficiency
One thing a childless person has going for them is that the financial burden doesn’t compare one bit. This person definitely did a little research to back up the claim. It’s not secret that having a child definitely burns a fat hole in your wallet.
13) Child Please
This poster feels adamant about normalizing families on a two-person basis. Can we blame her? If you’re a couple that can’t have children for whatever reason, then, by all means, you still have the right to think of yourself as your own family despite this fact.
14) No Time To Chill-dren
Life’s pace gets dramatically faster and doesn’t slow down for a while after having kids. It’s the inevitable change in schedule and the responsibility that comes with caring for another human being. For those that value their time, stick to not having any kids.
15) Child Missing In The Crowd
It might be called living in a bubble. It’s just chalked up to the fact that this person hangs out with similar kid-less people who don’t make such remarks. To add insult to injury, there’s really not that many of these crowds left.
16) Man’s Best Friend
It’s true that dogs will always be smiling at the sight of you walking through the door. However, it’s not always the case when it comes from a little human baby. It’s a pleasurable version of Russian Roulette when it comes to your mini-me as things can get loud really quick.
17) Child Of The 13th
Sounds like the perfect Hollywood flick for those looking to avoid having kids. It describes, in a nutshell, the life of someone sucking your soul with constant pleas of attention. It has all the makings of a real-life thriller.
18) The Older The Wine
The sweeter the juice they say. It looks like the “cool” aunt life might actually be the most desirable type of lifestyle. As long as it doesnt involve a child of course.
19) Child Custody
Nobody really ought to be disappointed in earning custody of their child. We can’t blame you if at times it may feel like it should be that way since they can definitely be a handful. Take it by the chin if you have to but please don’t be negligent of your child.
20) A Terrible Cough
Things can be pretty rough with a young one with almost infinite energy. It can take a humongous toll on the body. Make sure to carry your daily source of ibuprofen handy for the never ending headaches.
21) Sleep Is The Cousin of Having Child
Lack of sleep is a symptom of having a child. It’s concerning the amount of energy one expenses to raise a kid from the ground up. It really does take a village…of sleepless zombies.
22) Hometown Hiccup
This one is incredibly relatable to those who know the feeling of leaving their hometown and seeing their friends stay back. Not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s funny when it’s used in the context of this joke. Keep this one in your back pocket for the next time a little one asks the inevitable question.
23) Worm Germ
Life gets real after knowing a new human life is on the way, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that some people feel this way. No doubt momma will do her par in feeding the baby. Just be wary though because at some point, it will know nothing else but to eat eat eat until it can’t eat anymore!
24) Planning That Next Vacay
Ahh, the moment of taking a load off your mind and just breezing through life. A benefit that doesn’t come often to those who have children to supervise. Don’t take the childless luxury as a gift, as those who tend to fill a superficial void often get left without a sense of purpose.
25) Sleeping In Forever
Not a care in the world. That’s what happens when you’re without a kid. This person can’t help but rave and rub it all in our faces.
26) Humpty Dumpty Baby
To those without kids, it may seem like they’re just an object with a price tag on it. For all we know, this person was probably thinking they were doing the parents a favor! In all seriousness, don’t drop your baby for whatever reason possible.
27) Fees For Mini-Me
Child fees are out of the question, but children trying to hulk smash their walls are a huge nono. Politely talking to people can go a long way, and while nobody likes being told how to act as a parent, it should be fine to reach a point of understanding one another. Now about this being a scam, having a child comes with a price, but not exactly intended to swindle people.
28) Family Few
Good point. There shouldn’t be any discrimination towards a family of two just because of a lack of a child. With that being said, the expectations of those who equate a family to having kids should get lowered immediately to help get to this.
29) Be Careful What You Wish For
Or you might just get it. In this case, it seems like a desire heading into the wrong direction. Can having a kid really be this tragic?
30) Tiny Toons
Depends on who you ask because there are some really good cartoons out there. Regardless, we get the analogy and it can paint a painful picture for some. We can at least agree that this question should, in some shape or fashion, be asked before the commitment finally gets made.
31) Scream All You Want
This might be everyone’s worst nightmare. The screeching sound of a child can pierce the airways and cause permanent PTSD if you’re not careful. Those who without kids should enjoy the silence while it lasts.
32) Childless Checkpoint
Going through the airport with less luggage always does feel like a stress-free environment. It gets tedious having a little one around wondering when the next time they have to go potty. Now whether it’s the best time to be single is up for debate.
33) Stinky Sock Scenarios
Having difficult conversations with your child is tough. There’s always self-doubt has to how to approach it, but sometimes you just have to go with your gut instinct. Hopefully, this person did have a “good talk” and things came out positively in the end. This is one can definitely be an incentive to stay away from having children until you’re ready to face this kind of challenge.
34) Chips By The Millions
Chips become as important as water at some point. At least it provides some utility when trying to encourage good behavior in your kid. Just make sure to allocate some of your income towards a personal potato chip stash.
35) More Money Fewer Children
Supporting kids can be hard for many families to do. Especially when you’re young and barely established in the workforce. Rethink your decisions if you can’t afford to be financially responsible for another life.
36) No Child Appreciation Day
Let’s praise those who opt not to have a child simply because we can. No reason is needed other than women should feel like they belong because of their decision to stay away from bearing children. Let’s all embrace it and hold it to the same moral standard.
37) Future Failure
Don’t be ashamed to tell off that know it all that thinks they can tell you what to do. Stand by your word and rest assured that the path to no kids is not one to be ashamed of. Nobody holds that right over anyone and that’s a lesson you’ll have to teach your future child someday.
38) Pet Peeve
Children get compared to pets all the time. When it comes to literally comparing their exterior in this graphic way, then we understand why it can offend some people. Despite the outrageous comment of “skin dog”, it holds some level of credibility coming from a pediatrician.
39) Pleasures Of Pizza
Pizza might be one of the most commonly favored food amongst them all. It’s hard to hate when there is so much variety and ways to spice up your delight with a myriad of toppings. According to this person, you’ll get to enjoy them that much more if you don’t have child.