Creeps. Unfortunately, they’re everywhere. They can stalk you at any time, be it on the street, restaurant, or the internet but it’s up to you to decide how will you react to their advances. Creeps usually aren’t very subtle about what they want which makes it easier to give them the taste of their own medicine.
Let’s be honest, many women have been faced with some form of sexual misconduct and nowadays it’s easy to wander into weirdoes on social media or public chat rooms. Ignoring the creeps is sometimes the best (and only) solution but that’s not always the best course of action.
These women have found a perfect way to give these creeps exactly what they deserved. We bring you 75 savage comebacks that put those would-be sexual predators in their place.
11. “It’s been fun f***ing with you”
We can only imagine how stupid the guy who sent this message must have felt but he brought it all on himself. It’s hillarious how he didn’t have a problem with putting his hands in the air and standing one foot but hopping on the spot was where he drew the line. Guys like him would do pretty much anything just to get laid but it’s a sure way to make epic fools of themselves.
12. You won
Sigh. Did he actually think that was a creative way to hit on her? Well, it was just crass and he got what he deserved. The size remark in the end must’ve been really crushing for him. Karma.
13. Short but effective
Who said you need something extraordinary witty to shut down guys who cross the line of decent behavior? A simple ‘no’ will do just fine, as this girl had demonstrated.
14. Masterclass comeback
In the end, she buried him which is certainly what he didn’t expect to happen. However, the real question is, do these guys think at all before they write stuff like this, or it’s the other head that does all the thinking?
15. When you hit an iceberg
Okay, this time we can see more subtlety at work here, he went as far as to use an actual metaphor and not simply say ‘wanna get into bed with me’ like most other guys on this list. It didn’t make it any better for him, though. He’s no Jack Dawson, after all.
6. Naughty mouth
Okay, he started nicely and it has got us hopeful he’d continue in the same vein but alas, that didn’t last long. He got what was coming to him in the end.
7. Do you want to cuddle? I’m a nice kitty
It seems like he couldn’t make up his mind as to what he really wants. Well, he asked for nudes and got exactly that. We guess he still has nightmares after setting his eyes on that pic.
8. It’s a trumpet… it’s a horn… it’s a… school band
This clumsy metaphor certainly didn’t do him any favors. It seems like some guys can’t even do sexting properly. He should really try with a school band. That would impress girls way more than trumpet emojis.
9. “Send pic of u in a bra ;)”
One of the most wonderful things about language is that you can interpret even the smallest word in quite different ways. So a simple preposition like ‘in’ can produce different vastly different results.
10. An Asian comeback
This is a really old and lame way to hit on someone, not to mention that it’s rude as well. Next time he meets an Asian, he should think twice before making innuendos like that.
1. Semantics
Jason has every reason to feel down. He got owned big time. Perhaps it will teach him to keep his beast caged next time he’s trying to chat with a girl online.
2. ‘Don’t flatter yourself’
Boastfulness is a part of male-female relationships but showing it so early on can be pretty counter-productive. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that he got owned.
3. Moon landing
It all began nicely enough but he had to ruin it with one senseless comment. We guess the only way he could get laid like that is to become the 13th man who’s walked on the Moon.
4. It may be too revealing
That’s what happens when you get too greedy, cowboy. If more guys knew to behave properly when communicating with the opposite sex, they’d avoid embarassing situations such as this.
5. Who needs chairs anyway
He has a heart of a poet and manners of a street thug. That can’t be a good combination, can it? No wonder she wasn’t impressed.
16. Deception is allowed in love and war
How could he have suspected anything? After all, it seemed like a perfect pic of her bottom until she revealed what was really going on. Too bad we couldn’t see his response when he realized he had been fooled.
17. Plus size women policy
The best way to win over a lady on your first (online) date is to talk about her being ‘plus size’ – but not in this universe. If you prove to be that tactless the best thing you can hope for is to get a similar kind of response.
18. CEO in bed
Who wouldn’t want to be a CEO? It’s the best position there is.
19. It’s not a hole
Someone needs an anatomy class. Seriously guys, if you’re going to be making sexual innuendos, at least make sure you know a few basic things about female private parts. Unless you want to make a complete clown of yourself, that is.
20. “He’s been begging for weeks to do a “sexy roleplay” with me. I finally said yes. I think he regrets everything now”
Trolling him with IKEA got us laughing. It’s much more original than his roleplay scenario would have probably been. If we’re to judge his imagination based on that intro, we have to say that it isn’t very rich.
21. Standards
If you want to make creepy jokes you better hope your victim doesn’t have the skills to strike back. Which she did and pretty effectively at that.
22. Sea of d***s
Well, we haven’t seen this strategy before but it’s both fun and effective at the same time. After he stated eloquently that he wants sex with her and followed up with the pic of his genitals, she literally drowned him in the sea of 119 penis images until he was forced to block her. We have to admit that making perverts block you is a sign that you’re an intimidating person.
23. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
The cringiest thing in this little exchange is his reaction to her mentioning her dad. Since even that wouldn’t put him off she had to say no.
24. Simple but powerful
Remember the good old days when men used to court women and send them beautiful letters expressing their love and affection? Those times are gone. Well, at least he can be certain she is an anatomically correct female.
25. Good morning sunshine
This conversation was already awkward as it is even before his last message when it took a turn for the worse. A savage comeback was only the icing on the cake.
26. Sexting with a hitman
Okay, he put a lot of effort into that one. Effort which he’d put to a lot better use talking normally to her for starters instead of unwanted sexting. Some guys need to work on their priorities.
27. Washing machine
Well Kev, if you weren’t such a douchebag to her maybe you’d walk away with your ego deflated. He definitively should work on his pick up lines to avoid getting embarassed again.
28. Pythagora’s theorem
How could have he foreseen his opening message would trigger a math lesson? If he used his brain a bit more and avoided opening messages like that, maybe he’d actually have a chance with girls.
29. Beneath the sheets
Who’d want to sleep with a monster? Or a ghost? Answer: horny idiots on snapchat.
30. “When you’re too tired to explain twice that you don’t want to sext”
He did somewhat well until she mentioned that she was in bed. Now he has to search for his own severed penis in the depths of the drain pipe.
31. Anaconda’s grip
This guy must have felt like those poor lost souls in the Amazon forest when they realized anaconda was after them. It’s not a nice feeling.
32. An (un)fortunate typo
He should’ve stuck to his first message. Buy a duck and invite her over to hang out and take care of it together. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.
33. Creepy text art
This one was kind of cute until he blew it completely. Some guys just don’t know how to play their cards right.
34. Mamma’s boy
Did he really think he’d buy her with that unfortunate remark? Mentioning your mom on a date is generally a bad idea, but he obliterated himself with that stupid message.
35. Size matters
Here we are talking about priorities again. If your balls are more important to you than your brain, you’ll not get that many dates. Unless your brain size matches hers, that is.
36. Soul devourer
T.J will think twice before making a mistake like this again. Or at least we hope he learned his lesson. Not a given, though.
37. ‘Gorgoeus’ exchange
Let’s examine this one carefuly. He made a good first step but as usual, blew it all in an epic fashion right in the next sentence. Then it went downward very quickly. He didn’t even spell ‘gorgeous’ right.
38. “This is how I handle a creepy PM”
He was at least polite while beeing creepy. She really did her best to creep out the creep and was pretty successful.
39. Grammar issues
We’re at a loss for words right now. He should try and to back to school. It wouldn’t hurt him to open a grammar book every now and then.
40. Perfect observation skills
If you have a migraine it’s probably a good idea to lie down and rest instead of harassing women online. Well, the puppet frog’s behind will certainly cheer him up.
41. “Put a dolphin in the story”
So, we have a dinner, a cinema, a drive, a ‘jean’ and lots of horrible grammar. A dolphin wouldn’t fix this little story.
42. Best nudes ever
We bet he’s going to have nightmares about this for days. Needles to say, he asked for it.
43. The joke’s on you
Duncan, you shouldn’t make jokes. You’re lame at it.
44. Anatomy class
When you try to look smarter than you really are the consequences can be pretty unpleasant for you. Robert’s ego will take a massive hit after this one.
45. The Dark Lord of Lanugo
He could’ve played along, show some imagination. Still, he got what he asked for. May Zaltxabar have mercy on his soul.
46. I hate you, I love you
As they say, there’s a thin line between love and hate and the former can turn into the latter in no time. In fact, we think she was too easy on him.
47. “First message they sent me. Of course”
Getting messages like these from online creeps can be really annoying and disheartening. Her response was pretty awesome, though.
48. “Cannibalism is a strange thing”
What did he even try to do with this one, assuming he had a plan at all. He only ended up looking clumsy and really dumb, unless it was Hannibal Lecter hiding behind that profile.
49. Love slave
He obviously failed to grasp the meaning of the word ‘slave’. A slave would make no conditions.
50. The lamest pick up line ever
To be honest, 39km is not that far but far enough to keep creeps at bay. The further away from them, the better.
51. You don’t wear your clothes in the shower
When guys like Seth are turned on, their common sense goes out of the window. We guess he’ll just have to take a long shower… alone.
52. Roasted
We don’t know what Justin’s been smoking but whatever it was it didn’t make him any cleverer than before. His fire went out quickly after Lydia’s reply.
53. The tip of the iceberg
We can’t help but wonder whether she choose Titatic to lead him on and shut him down just like he deserved. If so, it was a cunning plan. You must always be one step ahead of creeps but then again, that’s not very hard.
54. “He stopped replying after that”
Making baby comments in an online chat can never end well. We’d be willing to bet he won’t make that mistake again.
55. His first and last
Isn’t it romantic? It’s his first time and he’s in the mood but Simon is relentless, as always. Vlad, go back and practice your pick up lines so maybe you’ll learn not to mention your dick in the opening message.
56. Ideal scenario
As we see it, it’s all pretty logical from Paul’s standpoint but that’s the problem in the first place. If there was ever a message that perfectly embodies a horny idiot, this is the one.
57. A delicious comeback
Cal got owned in the best manner possible. The memory of this exchange will come to haunt him next time he’s eating pizza.
58. “Sometimes it’s more fun to just act like you don’t know”
He tries to roleplay real hard while failing to get her not so subtle message to buzz off. All he had to say in the end was ‘Forget it’.
59. A lovely rhyme
Let’s be positive here, he can rhyme and he can… well, that’s pretty much the only thing he can do, if being a jerk doesn’t count. Sometimes you just have to fight fire with fire.
60. The couch line… again
Do creeps copy from each other? This has to be one of the lamest pick-up lines on Tinder. Small wonder he got destroyed in no time.
61. I found an Anchisaurus bone!
Archeology and bone pick-up lines are barely any better than the couch ones. Have they all forgot a simple scientific fact that there are no bones in a human penis? Well, that’s assuming they do any thinking at all.
62. Just a small question
Now this is just desperate. A guy who had at least a semblance of self-respect wouldn’t have harassed random women online asking them if his penis is small. Can it get any worse than that?
63. Romantic poetry
First things first Peter, you could really use a spellcheck. And the best next thing you could do is to memorize the song she wrote for you.
64. Be careful what you wish for
Mauricio got what exactly he asked for. He has no right to complain so he might as well download the pic and make it into a poster to hang on his bedroom wall.
65. How not to make money
This is probably the most savage comeback on our list. He got roasted so thoroughly it’ll likely be monhts before he attempts to talk to a girl online again. No one can say he didn’t ask for it.
66. Straight out of the oven
Come on Brad, you can do so much better than that. Next time you should wear gloves before you try touching the oven.
67. Netflix time
There’s no reason to get salty just because she stated the obvious. He only made it even worse for himself and got owned.
68. Fantasy world
Wait a minute Jonathan, why do you bring Gandalf into your fantasies? A wizard can’t even smoke a pipe in peace without some creep ruining his day with lame comments.
69. Savage comeback
He probably disappeared without a trace after he read this message. It sure was an effective and super funny way to teach this creep a lesson he won’t soon forget.
70. A knight in shinning armour
Chivalry is not dead, it’s just on a long vacation. Unlike many other guys on this list, he at least bothered to say ‘hey’.
71. Truth or dare
We don’t know what would have happened if she said dare but some things are best left unsaid. Like that next question he was preparing to ask.
72. STOPBILL
Once you get subscribed to Daily Bill, there’s no going back. He’s going to get Billed for the rest of his days and rightly so.
73. Signals
You probably know that most guys just don’t get the signals women are sending them. These aren’t always so subtle, as in this case and yet this guy is still blind to them. If they had met face-to-face a only a kick in the groin would do.
74. “The dirtiest role play of my life”
Now this is what we call inventive. Not every day does a woman turn a horny moron into a guy who helps her with house chores. We hope he really pulled his weight in the garden.
75. Spoiler revenge
‘Mom, she ruined the Walking Dead for me!’ were his very first words next morning at breakfast. When mom asked him to explain what happened he wouldn’t go into details.
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