But, it’s all in good fun of course! These “roastees” willingly submitted their pictures to see just how low cheeky Redditers can blow.
“Roasting (v.) – To humorously mock or humiliate someone with a well-timed joke, diss or comeback. (As defined by urbandictionary) Hone your roasting skills, meet other roasters, and get yourself roasted! Everybody needs to laugh at themselves! And other people, of course!”
Brace yourself for 75 of the most savage reddit roasts where people held nothing back.
1) “Yes, I’m in a wheelchair. Give me your best.”
“Looks like your belly is having a party that your legs weren’t invited to.”
There’s also this one from @Canbrahthug:
“What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs? You after a house fire.”
2) Brave Soldier Boy
@Pick_Locks_Get_Money has some pure, unbridled gold:
“Your mom puts “folded flag” on her Christmas list.”
3) “Roast this Griffinwhore”
@NotDwayneJohnson:
“Didn’t know Hogwarts had Special Ed.”
And if that wasn’t enough, there’s also this one:
@LordFends
“Your mom drank too many butterbeers while she was pregnant with you.”
4) “I have no insecurities. Do your worst.”
@GunnNNife:
“I’ll have a large chocolate Frosty, please.”
And here’s another one from @Feltz:
“You look like a stop sign.”
5) This girl fishing for compliments.
@jaydub_:
“Your eyes are so far apart, you can spot a predator behind you.”
@ShamrockFury:
“You look like the kind of girl that cries during her webcam shows.”
6) “I coach Marines how to shoot.”
@tohones82:
“Your dad is going to be PISSED when he sees you wearing his uniform.”
@kensomniac:
“A Marine holding a sign that doesn’t say “Anything helps” and “God Bless.” But, seriously, work on your handwriting. No one is going to be able to read that from their car.”
7) “First post ever on Reddit. Please try to offend me.”
@Picks_Locks_Gets_Money:
“You look like your pacifier was made of asbestos.”
According to @AVZ075, looks are everything:
“You look like you get dirty looks getting house cleaning supplies.”
@XeoKai’s insult went like this:
“Jesus Christ. You must hear “let’s just be friends” often.”
8) “I’ve seen a few of your roasts and I really think a few of you could do better, give me your worst x”
@111anon111:
“The decor matches your personality.”
Another Reddit roaster said:
“There’s nothing I can really point to as hideous, or even noteworthy. You’re just there. You’re rice pudding, and you don’t even have any raisins.”
9) “Do your worst.”
@p_velocity cut straight to the chase:
“Is it ok to roast someone when he hasn’t discovered fire yet?”
@Ozzi_Motto:
“Looks like you recently got set free from a block of ice.”
10) “24, roast me plz!”
@Agnostix:
“What do you floss your teeth with, a mattress?”
@bloodshake:
“Not just a Gap between your teeth but the whole damn mall.”
@glazedreddit:
“When people refer to braces as being “Railroad Tracks”, this guy would need the dental equivalent of the Trans-Siberian Railway to fix his teeth.”
11) “Roast Us!”
@ObviousBob:
“Next time drink the bleach.”
@2-4-decadienal5:
“12 Angry Virgins”
@Tee_Kat
“Ya’ll are the reason girls put their heights on their tinder bios.”
12) “I am the real Slim Shady but i can’t stand up.”
@Scurvywaif4 made new rap lyrics for him:
“Knees broke, arms are heavy, there’s vomit on his sweater already, his legs are spaghetti.”
@CaptainMudwhistle:
“Is your barber disabled too?”
13) “This is the reason I joined reddit. Go for it!”
@veryheavycoat:
“You don’t need an orange vest. No one is going to hit that.”
@FizzleFred:
“Have you had the “someday this will all be yours” chat with your son on top of the dump pile yet?”
14) “Tear me apart worse than I tear my skin apart.”
@BuffNoob:
“What meth? She’s used all of it.”
@toothscrew:
“I don’t dare zoom in on your pic in case I catch whatever you have.”
@Aapacman:
“Home Alone 4: Michael Jackson Burned me with cigarettes”
15) “24 at 340lb, today i begin to b healthy, give me some motivation”
@XSilent_DevilX
“You look like if Al Yankovic actually listened to his own lyrics in Eat It”
@sc0tt_93:
How did you get a picture of Deadpool printed on a tent?
16) “I moved to Malta to be with my boyfriend. We bought a house together. We broke up. We still live together and he’s currently downstairs ‘entertaining’ female guests.”
@lurkandload:
“I’m sorry about all of this… Not your situation, but this picture I’m looking at.”
@A5madal:
“Looks like that bottom tooth is trying to leave you for your boyfriend too.”
@Ausfahrt123:
“It’s like the Captain and Tennille all rolled up into the same person.”
17) “Lol, good luck tryna roast me”
@sugarfreelemonade:
“If MLK had a nightmare.”
@mreyes1798:
“I was scrolling and when I first saw your hair I couldn’t tell if it was a ginger root or a tarantula.”
18) “Desert storm veteran tougher skin then all of you millennial snowflakes do your worst…”
@SPORT-FIFTY:
“more like dessert storm”
@Here7breaker:
“Suffering from PTSD: Put The Sugar Down”
19) “Got testicular cancer twice in less than a year. Just had my second orchiectomy, no longer have balls. Cheer me up by putting me down.”
@limark:
“Must suck that cancer is the only thing that saw your junk and came back for seconds.”
@CubanHermes:
“No nut November is going to have double meaning for you this year.”
20) “I’m an 80 year old professional stoner who forgets his Reddit Passwords. Roast me!”
@compilationkid:
“Yeah… cant really roast someone when they’re already lit.”
And here’s another witty one:
“You’re so much of a pothead, even your age is 4 20s”
21) “Autistic female community college student who is proud to sport a unibrow! I’m not scared of your roasts!”
“She used to have two eyebrows but she shaved the top one off.”
@mitzerino:
“what was it like discovering fire”
@brockali:
“Where have you been living since Notre-Dame burned down?”
22) “A rock climbing accident left me with a concussion, black eye, broken nose, and sprained wrist. How much damage can you do?”
@harpsm:
I thought goats were supposed to be good at climbing rocks.
@tom814:
“That’s quite the sacrifice just to make anyone look at you twice.”
23) “17, broke my back jumping off an 85 foot cliff into water. My girlfriend is making me get roasted for being a dumbass.”
@DeluxeSleeper
“On a scale of 1-10 how devastated is your gf that you survived?”
@Maiden14:
“At least your girlfriend was kind enough to hold the “roast me” sign for you.”
24) “My client was feeling himself a little too much after his haircut.”
@DirtyMikeAndTheBoahs:
“Would you say an above average number of Amber Alerts go off in your town?”
And then there’s this one from an anonymous Redditer:
“When the surfer dude style didn’t bring in the ladies, he settled for the serial killer vibe instead.”
25) “34 with big ears. Let me hear the same old jokes I have heard my whole life.”
@Lenticalino:
“This dude don’t need an alarm he can hear the sun come up in the morning.”
@JoumanaKayrouz:
“Homeboy would be an unfair advantage on a sailing team.”
26) “Buddy thinks he is Jesus, needs help being humble.”
@cajungator3:
“It’s like if John Lennon ate Yoko on a sailboat.”
@-castle-bravo-
“Unlike Jesus, nobody’s nailing you…”
27) “Do your worst”
@MCShoveled”
“Damn dude, grow a pair… of anything.”
@hTOKJTRHMdw:
“Glad you quit while you were a head.”
28) “Made this all on me own today, took me 4 hours! Roast me back to ground level please.”
@Zaggie:
“Whatever keeps you out of the playground.”
@Derpherpderpdeederp
“I bet your parents were so annoyed when you proudly trotted back upstairs with what they thought might keep you out of their living area for the day.”
29) “My girlfriend doesn’t believe in your roasting abilities. Proof her wrong! ;)”
@binker98:
“If you cover the top half of her head she looks 16. If you cover the bottom half she looks 60. If you cover the entire thing she looks better.”
@RandyBandyleg
“She looks like what morning breath smells like.”
30) “My friend is selling his house, quitting his job, getting rid of everything he owns and is going to try to live a budgetted life while couch surfing. Please, please light him up.”
@topsideup25:
“It’s called being homeless, Mark. Now get the ***k out of my basement.”
@playsomezelda:
“If Midlife Crisis had an awareness poster.”
31) “Lifeguarding at an empty pool for 7 hours, give me something to laugh at”
@thebarracudabrother:
“If you tried to give me cpr I would probably throw myself back under water”
@JohnWad:
“Sitting in the corner of the backyard, creeping at your little sisters underage friends during her birthday party, doesnt make you a lifeguard.”
32) “Bought 3 goats in High school for FFA project, now 22 years old still living at home taking care of them”
@jerzyshore1:
“In related news, 27 half human half goat babies have been found in your surrounding community”
@LeCielCris:
“Do girls like baaad boys?”
33) “25F. Im a teacher, please be more original than the things my students say behind my back!”
@AbeFalcon:
“You have a face for online courses.”
@KingZummo:
“If you take those glasses off you know that nose is coming off with them…”
34) “I’m a programmer and my only two friends date each other. Do your worst”
@SGTwhocares:
“Your parents dont count as friends”
@tafel_lager:
“There’s this thing called puberty that you should try. It does wonders for teenagers.”
35) “I grew my hair out for 2 years for this moment. Don’t let me down.”
@1stgradenightmares:
“Slumdog Millionhairs”
@doubleclapmedia:
“How much longer are you planning on not getting laid?”
@jrbrowne:
“Weird Al Yankosingh”
36) “27, full-time cake decorator, obligatory long time lurker first time poster. So please do your worst Reddit!”
@WhiskeyNovemberSix:
“Does your employer know you follow the rule of “One for them, one for me”?”
@spangoloid:
“You look like the sort of person who would try to eat a pie chart”
37) “My friend says he is unroastable. Do your worst.”
@everygobblecock:
“Unemployable*”
@pk_buggy:
“Did you just photoshop “r/roastme” over a picture of a hobo holding up a “will work for food” sign?”
38) “Do your worst! Eye am a doctor, I’ve seen everything!”
@harpsm:
“How horrible for your patients that the first thing they see after getting clear vision is your face.”
@tom814
“But doc, why are you using a rag and a bottle of chloroform to dialate my eyes?”
39) “Day 3 after double jaw surgery. Bored as hell, make me laugh!”
@theknackerbags:
“Kim jong very ill”
@whiskey-talks:
“Sir I understand it’s in your mouth but you may not leave with food from the buffet”
40) “Fairly successful (21 M), just finished building my own home and am a fully qualified Baker at age 19. Kids on the block call me FIGJAM, bet you can’t take down this powerhouse of win.”
@beerbellyd:
“Never seen a piece of paper held like fried chicken before.”
@ProfDaLi:
“You look as sharp as your jaw line.”
41) “Only two students in economy class”
@stoutgnome:
“You’re that kid who shows up to Economics in a suit and tie, and no one can figure out if they’re a missionary or just trying too hard.”
@Wonely_Lolf:
“Lemme guess. You have a crush on her but she has a crush on your dad”
42) “Toast me bitches. Please avoid fat jokes unless they are original, I’ve heard them all.”
@playerhateroftheyear:
“Looks like you were poured into your bra and forgot to say when”
@Ryan0190:
“-Never asked to prom. *wears a prom dress for every outing to Walmart.”
43) “Just got a nose job so I can breathe through it for the first time in my life, and I’m bored in my room at midnight. Keep me entertained and do your worst reddit!”
@flogis14:
“Since the nose is done can you do something about the rest of the face?”
@kamakazi451:
“You ever been so ugly that the oxygen around you doesn’t want to be inhaled”
[/imgsrc]
44) “My college dormmate and I. Name a more iconic duo.”
@ravenousld3341:
“Dude in the back looks like he can get skin cancer from the moon.”
@notarlo_:
“The indoors have not been so kind to Julian Assange”
45) “I only listen to 80s new wave and failed a semester of algebra. Roast me into oblivion.”
@prezzz:
“I honestly don’t know what age, ethnicity or gender you are. You’re the person that would make any police sketch artist want to retire.”
@MyDInYourMouth:
“My compliments to the Dog Filter on your phone…”
46) “My friend thinks he’s a stud, knock him down a peg”
“When the back hair and neck beard merge he’s really going to have to watch out for Sasquatch hunters”
@iamwildedible:
“It’s like Daniel Radcliffe and Robert Pattinson had a baby with all of their worst traits.”
47) “18 y/o web developer, roast me blacker than my skin color”
@iamdkallday:
“I can tell you’ve let alot of N-bombs slide for the sake of having friends.”
@fatbeard_rh63:
“The black gay friend that popular girls put on display to show they’re inclusive.”
@defvac2:
“I’ve seen women in concentration camps with more muscle than you.”
48) “I Had No Pens, Roast Me”
@FeistyLighterFluid:
“You look exactly how I imagined a person writing with his own ***t would look”
@cherrysenpai:
Looks like Humpty Dumpty survived the fall.
49) “18 y/o just got ghosted by the first guy I have had genuine feelings for. Let’s see if you can wreck me like he did.”
“He ghosted you cause you stole Christmas”
@tom814
“You look like The Grinch cosplaying a teen girl.”
50) “Showed up to work today with a big hole in my pants…do your worst!”
@moderlover77:
“By work do you mean stealing change from the park fountain”
@eferreira21:
“I find it funnier that you lied saying you have a job.”
51) “I ain’t afraid of no roast!!”
@Apollomod123:
“This guy thinks getting roasted will bring back his youth.”
@wrukonitsside:
“Is this another one of those videos where a guy is living in a storage unit?”
52) 19 yo, french, aspiring sound engineer who overthinks every bits of criticism. Have fun !”
“I’ve seen livelier expressions from a morgue”
@tom814:
“How is the sketch of you more appealing than the real you?”
@TapTheForwardAssist:
“Huh, I guess Notre Dame is only the second worst thing to happen to France this year.”
53) “My (21) girlfriend wanted to be roasted. She’s recently started studying classic literature, also she’s a vegetarian. Bring it”
@zomgitsdude:
“Make sure they know I’m studying classic literature and that I’m vegetarian” -her, probably”
@GIRANTINAGX:
“It’s like someone tried to draw Jessica Chastain with their left hand.”
@NastySassyStuff:
“Tim Burton called, you failed the audition”
54) “Fiancée left me for a woman. Dont hold back. I need this”
@RIPPLEDICKED
“In all fairness her relationship with you wasn’t a resounding affirmation of her attraction to masculinity. So, this is not a huge surprise.”
@daobear:
“Left you for another woman”
@bran_dong:
“Jon Snow-flake:
55) “unroastable? thats what she claims anyway. give her a tan”
“She clearly has Furniture Syndrome. Her chest has sunk into her drawers.”
@tux_in_blue:
“She’s probably once belived she was going to save herself for marriage but lost it for a bag of weed”
@zjamesc:
“If Kylie Jenner grew up without money”
56) “23, just landed my dream job, lost about 20kg, roast me harder than my friends do for collecting model aircraft.”
@OwlsIsBetterThanMans:
“You look like a toddler cosplaying his dad.”
@wakandianknuckle:
“You look like retarded Ryan reynolds”
57) “Just got released from mental ward. I bet you can’t roast me worse than they did there!”
“Walking across that forehead is a test of manhood in some tribes.”
@Commander_WoTman:
“your skin looks like unevenly cooked pita bread.”
@ElJonJon86:
“A freckle for every split personality.”
58) “give it your best shot”
@tomhomas:
“How do you have both Dumb and Dumber haircuts?”
@YesAndAlsoThat:
“a little more makeup, a little less teeth, and you’d fit right in at meth motel”
@manajerr:
“You appear not to be your father’s best shot. Why should we give you ours?”
59) “Just turned 22, got promoted, got my own office, you guys can’t bring me down”
“you got a promotion because they thought you had 20 years experience.”
@shitpost228:
“title says 22, hairline says 44, sex life says 11”
@defvac2:
“You look like the kind of guy that wears a helmet in a car.”
60) “I’m 19. I’m 5”7’, just got carded at an MA15+ movie, and every girl I like thinks I’m gay. Best roast goes in my tinder bio.”
@rainistorm:
“You look like Conan O’Brien merged with Ellen DeGeneres.”
@Lik2Troll:
“On second thought, I’ll pass – Kevin Spacey”
@forgetfulbuttbutt:
“You look like someone tried to make a person in photoshop and quit after they got done detailing the hair.”
61) “You guys aren’t smart enough to roast an Ivy Leaguer but give me your worst.”
@dex-staar:
“You look like the off brand version of Mark Zuckerberg.”
@polminator:
“Even your hairline is scared of your nose”
@maxbaby:
“What do a Cornell student and Princeton student have in common? They both got accepted to Cornell”
62) “My gf broke up with me last night and I feel nothing, now I need to be put down by you good people”
@limark:
“Are you wearing a wig made from her drain hair or something?”
@theKoalaman:
“Generally the egg goes on top of the ramen, not the other way around.”
63) “Roast a Champion”
@abadluckwind:
“The special Olympics are kind of a big deal bro.”
@nemofinch:
“I’m guessing he has to bring this up to everyone he meets”
@osorange:
“I got silver at the olympics”
then:
“sir that’s fantastic but I need your order if you want your food”
64) “We have been feeling good looking lately. Give us hell!”
@AbsolutelyCoffee:
“You’re either a brother sister couple or BF/GF couple with no sexual chemistry. I have no further joke.”
@Alepman:
“Nothing more pure than siblings love keep it in the family guys”
@fyoupirate:
“Looks like Wednesday Addams went to rehab and started dating her counselor.”
65) “Roast me and my pizza face. 17 yrs”
@jvoss87:
“It says “Roast Me” in braille.”
@SkipperBiff:
“I lost my appetite for Nestles Crunch bars.”
@thedude213:
“Django Unexfoliated”
66) “About to tell my parents I’m NOT going to med school. Roast me to toughen me up before they roast me.”
“It’ll be the biggest disappointment they’ve ever had next to finding out you were a girl.”
@mjpowers07:
“Working in a nail salon is also a fine profession.”
@bultitoasesino
“They would take it badly but they can always buy another asian child.”
67) “3 years ago to this day, I made a Reddit account for the soul purpose of being roasted. I think you can all do better this time around.”
“Why’d it take you three years to check back in? It’s not like you’re employable or anything.”
@HookersForDahl2017:
“You are what every parent fears their child will become”
@Bat_man_89:
“The only way you could look like more of a disappointment is if you stood between two mirrors.”
68) “19 years old, skipped out on college, currently living in LA, in an apartment with 4 other people, trying to make it as a musician. Please roast me I need it.”
@inidooH:
“Hopefully make-a-wish will help you become a musician for a day”
@like2troll:
“Sinead O’ Failure”
69) “For two years we’ve been looking, still no flaws, endless perfection!”
“Sad to see that Macaulay Culkin has had a relapse. Get well soon.”
@Daafda:
“The main difference between these two dudes is that the one on the right has only given up on the inside.”
@134282:
“You guys look like the Scully and Mulder of the heroin world.”
70) “33 year old single dad with abandonment issues and an innate ability to destroy every relationship that’s ever mattered. End me.”
“You look like the spawn child of Jason Statham and a malnourished horse”
@justinianofdoom:
“Things will get easier when you find out the kid isn’t even yours.”
71) “Today is my 18th birthday, I lost 70 pounds, my crush has been ignoring me and I suppress my emotions. I’m intrigued at what will happen”
@frfksake:
“Your self esteem weighed 70 pounds?”
@nonamedefier:
“You don’t have to be lonely at cousinonly.com”
@smirkyshrugs:
“He’s got the same vacant stare that Mark Zuckerberg has when he’s not trying too hard.”
72) “Dating apps have inflated my ego, let’s bring it back down”
@redpantyknight:
“Men on dating apps play a numbers game. You’re not special, you’re just acceptable.”
@CleverSpaceMonkey:
“Like a typical Asian Restaurant, the items always look better on the menu.”
73) “18, unemployed, boyfriend told me not to post this because he doesn’t want me to cry. do your worst.”
“Your boyfriend didn’t want you to post it because he didn’t want the Internet to see what he was dating. And we didn’t either.”
@Whitedudedown:
“If stale Cotton candy made a wish to be a real girl”
@lostmyshoes01:
“Don’t worry… if he doesn’t care about your receding hairline, then he won’t care about your crying.”
74) “This guy thinks he’s Keanu Reeves. Light him up”
@BlackJesusRL:
“Thought I just saw another post of you hiding in your 14 year old girlfriends attic??”
@Shin_lord:
“When you order Keanu Reeves on Amazon and this shows up…”
@alltoocommon:
“John Wick Chapter 4: The Need for Cardio.”
75) “Make me want to drink the chemicals in my lab”
“Is this where you steal chloroform to drug women ?”
@officialbrushie:
“I thought cleaning crews aren’t suppose to touch anything including lab coats and chemicals.”
@mentorsworld:
“Where do you keep the victims?”
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