Not all of us are lucky enough to own a boat. Those luxurious beauties might be fun, but boy are they expensive. Theyโre a big investment for more reason than one.
People who own boats take a lot of pride in them. That goes for everything from their names to their upkeep. Naming a boat is seen as a big responsibility. Itโs considered bad luck to change the name of a boat (plus, itโs a nightmare when it comes to paperwork). So, suffice it to say, itโs not a decision to make lightly. In some instances, it takes people years to choose a name.
Back in the day, most boat owners went with a grandiose name. They might call their boat โMajestyโ or โThe Paradise.โ But these days, thereโs a trend with boat names: naming them something, well, fun.
Most of the time, this involves some sort of nautical pun, which shouldnโt come as a surprise. A lot of people who can afford to buy boats are getting up in years โ and theyโre often male. So, it makes sense theyโd appreciate a good dad joke.
Enjoy these 75 pictures of boats with hilarious namesโฆand keep an eye out the next time youโre at the beach.
1. You hope
This is his getaway plan in the event of a zombie invasion, but letโs be real. None of us know if zombies can even swim. Weโre just hoping.
While some people want to use boats for fishing and racing, others just want to kick back and sail around the harbor. I think this owner falls into the last category.
Considering this is a racing sailboat, itโs a pretty clever name. And if itโs as fast as the real Usain Bolt, itโs enough to strike fear into the hearts of its competitors.
This was an intricate prank in the making. You know the boat owner did this just to watch everyoneโs eyes while they panicked, then laughed. Itโs the simple pleasures.
Youโd think boat owners would be humbler after that one ship sank. What was it called again? I think they made a movie about it with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio.
The backstory behind this name is that the boatโs owned by a pharmacist. I guess they thought the pun was funny enough to risk any stops by the water patrol.
Itโs often hard to choose a boat name, especially since itโs considered bad luck to change it from the original one. Sometimes, you just have to settle. You canโt go wrong with a double pun.
Why do I get the feeling these boats are owned by two retired siblings? Theyโve been having this argument for 60 years and itโs not stopping any time soon.
When your dadโs a fan of โBreaking Bad,โ he might just give his boat a name like this. Hopefully, heโs not doing any illegal activities on board.
Some people take the process of naming their boats very seriously. For this one, it took the owner years before finally coming up with โWater U Lookinโ At.โ Was it worth it? You decide.
When a guy named Grey buys a boat, the opportunities for names are abundant. He couldโve gone with โGreyโs Anatomy,โ but personally, I think he made a great choice.
Itโs hard to put your finger on why some boat names are so great. This one combines enthusiasm with a hilarious pun, and the result is unforgettable.
Owning a boat is great in theory, but man, theyโre expensive. Maybe this sailor couldnโt afford the one he wanted โ but at least heโs handling it with humor.
Perhaps this boat owner is still paying off the loan or possibly, he had to share it with his ex-wife as part of their divorce agreement. Either way, โKinda Mineโ is an apt description.
I get the feeling this boat owner is saying: โYes, Iโm a bitch, but Iโm a bitch with a yacht.โ And itโs hard to come up with a response to that.
Ah, the classic pun that dads everywhere think is hysterical. The joke was even parodied in โThe Officeโ when Dwight said, โIโm an average baiter. My cousin Mose, thereโs a master baiter.โ
In the world of boat names, youโll find knot puns in every harbor. Iโd be tempted to ask this guy if his boat was for sale just to see his expression.
Most people who own boats are older, so theyโre not exactly up-to-date on their cultural references. Not this guy. He knows what all the young kids like.
If youโre doing well enough to own a boat in your 20s, more power to you. On the other hand, if youโre having a crisis at that age, you might want to see a therapist.
Cirrhosis of the liver is a terrible disease, but cirrhosis of the river? Now thatโs a pretty funny boat name. Thereโs probably a lot of drinking on that boat.
This boat name gives the owner the excuse to say heโll be back โin a minute.โ Iโm sure at this point, his family knows the phrase is meaningless.
Now thatโs a boat name to make every dad cheer. Most of them seem to be fans of Jimmy Buffett, especially when itโs time to hit the water and enjoy the sun (and a beer).
Now hereโs another boat name that might draw the copsโ attention. Maybe itโs a reverse psychology thing. If you say it outright, they probably wonโt stop you, right?
I donโt know about you, but Iโd avoid this guy on the water. I donโt want to deal with a Hydra supporter, even if theyโre good at naming boats.
Iโm sure this boat owner gets a good chuckle out of this slightly raunchy boat name. Maybe itโs innocent, right? After all, boats are supposed to get wet.
We get it: standards are relaxed when youโre out on the water. You can name your boat whatever dirty thing you want without consequences. So, uh, let your freak flag fly?
We slow down as we age โ which, coincidentally, is about the time we might buy a boat. But this thing isnโt for speed. Itโs for waterslides and beer, obviously.
Sometimes, weโre faced with a choice of going one way or the other. Clearly, this boat owner made their selection. But hey, they can still say theyโre going to โTherapy.โ
Okay, theyโre not exactly free, but theyโre cheaper than at a bar. Iโm sure thereโve been many happy hours aboard this boat โ as well as Happy Hours I, may she rest in peace.
Is this offensive or funny? Maybe this boatโs owned by a Spanish-speaking family. I donโt recall hearing a whole lot of Spanish spoken in Connecticut.
Some people love sailing so much they claim it changes their health. That might be up for debate, but you canโt deny theyโre getting plenty of Vitamin โSea.โ
Get your mind out of the gutter. While this sounds like a sexual innuendo, it could be perfectly innocent. After all, being on a boat is a very, um, wet affair.
Now this is pretty clever. This boat owner can always say they spent the day โin the office.โ Itโs a perfect excuse to have a day alone in the sun.
Thatโs a boat name to make the ownerโs friends laugh and his family cringe. Maybe itโs his excuse for getting out on the water without taking his kids along.
Or maybe it can be a good thing. Either way, Iโm sure this guy had some explaining to do when he went home. โHey honey, I spent a little too much todayโฆโ
Some people need medication and therapy to help them through their problems. This person prefers to hit the water and enjoy the sun and surf as a solution for melting their troubles away.
I get the feeling this person spent so long trying to decide on a name that they finally said, โName it whatever.โ I wonder if their family christened it as a prank.
This reads like a resolution, something the boat owner told himself โ or possibly his spouse. โI swear, honey, this is the last dingy Iโll own.โ
Most people who own boats are a bit older. So, you wouldnโt expect to meet one whoโs a Beyoncรฉ fan. Of course, that pun was just too good to resist.
If you donโt think itโs retro, you should stop and realize that Baby Got Back came out almost 30 years ago. Now itโs time for Sir Mix-A-Lot fans to start buying boats.
Itโs a motto for life and a great name for a boat. We canโt control what happens to us, which sometimes, isnโt fun. But hey, at least this pun is fun.
When this boat owner hits the water, heโs not available for work-related calls. Seriously, he might not even have his cell phone on. Or even have reception.
Itโs no secret that buying a boat is a huge investment. It might be the symbol of wealth, but it could very well turn someone of wealth into a poor person.
Is there anything better than sitting on a boat while enjoying the sun and the surf? Hopefully, the owner of this boat wonโt be turning the COLOR of bacon.
Ah, the layers of this boat name. Thereโs a pun, a subtle call-out to German heritage, and a dig about work. Now thatโs a name that would make dads proud.
Not all of us are lucky enough to own a boat. Those luxurious beauties might be fun, but boy are they expensive. Theyโre a big investment for more reason than one.
People who own boats take a lot of pride in them. That goes for everything from their names to their upkeep. Naming a boat is seen as a big responsibility. Itโs considered bad luck to change the name of a boat (plus, itโs a nightmare when it comes to paperwork). So, suffice it to say, itโs not a decision to make lightly. In some instances, it takes people years to choose a name.
Back in the day, most boat owners went with a grandiose name. They might call their boat โMajestyโ or โThe Paradise.โ But these days, thereโs a trend with boat names: naming them something, well, fun.
Most of the time, this involves some sort of nautical pun, which shouldnโt come as a surprise. A lot of people who can afford to buy boats are getting up in years โ and theyโre often male. So, it makes sense theyโd appreciate a good dad joke.
Enjoy these 75 pictures of boats with hilarious namesโฆand keep an eye out the next time youโre at the beach.