Not all of us are lucky enough to own a boat. Those luxurious beauties might be fun, but boy are they expensive. They’re a big investment for more reason than one.
People who own boats take a lot of pride in them. That goes for everything from their names to their upkeep. Naming a boat is seen as a big responsibility. It’s considered bad luck to change the name of a boat (plus, it’s a nightmare when it comes to paperwork). So, suffice it to say, it’s not a decision to make lightly. In some instances, it takes people years to choose a name.
Back in the day, most boat owners went with a grandiose name. They might call their boat “Majesty” or “The Paradise.” But these days, there’s a trend with boat names: naming them something, well, fun.
Most of the time, this involves some sort of nautical pun, which shouldn’t come as a surprise. A lot of people who can afford to buy boats are getting up in years — and they’re often male. So, it makes sense they’d appreciate a good dad joke.
Enjoy these 75 pictures of boats with hilarious names…and keep an eye out the next time you’re at the beach.
1. You hope
This is his getaway plan in the event of a zombie invasion, but let’s be real. None of us know if zombies can even swim. We’re just hoping.
While some people want to use boats for fishing and racing, others just want to kick back and sail around the harbor. I think this owner falls into the last category.
Considering this is a racing sailboat, it’s a pretty clever name. And if it’s as fast as the real Usain Bolt, it’s enough to strike fear into the hearts of its competitors.
This was an intricate prank in the making. You know the boat owner did this just to watch everyone’s eyes while they panicked, then laughed. It’s the simple pleasures.
You’d think boat owners would be humbler after that one ship sank. What was it called again? I think they made a movie about it with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio.
The backstory behind this name is that the boat’s owned by a pharmacist. I guess they thought the pun was funny enough to risk any stops by the water patrol.
It’s often hard to choose a boat name, especially since it’s considered bad luck to change it from the original one. Sometimes, you just have to settle. You can’t go wrong with a double pun.
Why do I get the feeling these boats are owned by two retired siblings? They’ve been having this argument for 60 years and it’s not stopping any time soon.
Some people take the process of naming their boats very seriously. For this one, it took the owner years before finally coming up with “Water U Lookin’ At.” Was it worth it? You decide.
When a guy named Grey buys a boat, the opportunities for names are abundant. He could’ve gone with “Grey’s Anatomy,” but personally, I think he made a great choice.
Owning a boat is great in theory, but man, they’re expensive. Maybe this sailor couldn’t afford the one he wanted — but at least he’s handling it with humor.
Perhaps this boat owner is still paying off the loan or possibly, he had to share it with his ex-wife as part of their divorce agreement. Either way, “Kinda Mine” is an apt description.
Ah, the classic pun that dads everywhere think is hysterical. The joke was even parodied in “The Office” when Dwight said, “I’m an average baiter. My cousin Mose, there’s a master baiter.”
Most people who own boats are older, so they’re not exactly up-to-date on their cultural references. Not this guy. He knows what all the young kids like.
If you’re doing well enough to own a boat in your 20s, more power to you. On the other hand, if you’re having a crisis at that age, you might want to see a therapist.
Cirrhosis of the liver is a terrible disease, but cirrhosis of the river? Now that’s a pretty funny boat name. There’s probably a lot of drinking on that boat.
Now that’s a boat name to make every dad cheer. Most of them seem to be fans of Jimmy Buffett, especially when it’s time to hit the water and enjoy the sun (and a beer).
Now here’s another boat name that might draw the cops’ attention. Maybe it’s a reverse psychology thing. If you say it outright, they probably won’t stop you, right?
I’m sure this boat owner gets a good chuckle out of this slightly raunchy boat name. Maybe it’s innocent, right? After all, boats are supposed to get wet.
We get it: standards are relaxed when you’re out on the water. You can name your boat whatever dirty thing you want without consequences. So, uh, let your freak flag fly?
We slow down as we age — which, coincidentally, is about the time we might buy a boat. But this thing isn’t for speed. It’s for waterslides and beer, obviously.
Sometimes, we’re faced with a choice of going one way or the other. Clearly, this boat owner made their selection. But hey, they can still say they’re going to “Therapy.”
Okay, they’re not exactly free, but they’re cheaper than at a bar. I’m sure there’ve been many happy hours aboard this boat — as well as Happy Hours I, may she rest in peace.
Some people love sailing so much they claim it changes their health. That might be up for debate, but you can’t deny they’re getting plenty of Vitamin “Sea.”
Get your mind out of the gutter. While this sounds like a sexual innuendo, it could be perfectly innocent. After all, being on a boat is a very, um, wet affair.
That’s a boat name to make the owner’s friends laugh and his family cringe. Maybe it’s his excuse for getting out on the water without taking his kids along.
Or maybe it can be a good thing. Either way, I’m sure this guy had some explaining to do when he went home. “Hey honey, I spent a little too much today…”
Some people need medication and therapy to help them through their problems. This person prefers to hit the water and enjoy the sun and surf as a solution for melting their troubles away.
I get the feeling this person spent so long trying to decide on a name that they finally said, “Name it whatever.” I wonder if their family christened it as a prank.
If you don’t think it’s retro, you should stop and realize that Baby Got Back came out almost 30 years ago. Now it’s time for Sir Mix-A-Lot fans to start buying boats.
When this boat owner hits the water, he’s not available for work-related calls. Seriously, he might not even have his cell phone on. Or even have reception.
It’s no secret that buying a boat is a huge investment. It might be the symbol of wealth, but it could very well turn someone of wealth into a poor person.
Is there anything better than sitting on a boat while enjoying the sun and the surf? Hopefully, the owner of this boat won’t be turning the COLOR of bacon.
Ah, the layers of this boat name. There’s a pun, a subtle call-out to German heritage, and a dig about work. Now that’s a name that would make dads proud.
75 photos of boats with names that a dad somewhere has patted himself on the back about
Cedric Jackson
02.20.20
Not all of us are lucky enough to own a boat. Those luxurious beauties might be fun, but boy are they expensive. They’re a big investment for more reason than one.
People who own boats take a lot of pride in them. That goes for everything from their names to their upkeep. Naming a boat is seen as a big responsibility. It’s considered bad luck to change the name of a boat (plus, it’s a nightmare when it comes to paperwork). So, suffice it to say, it’s not a decision to make lightly. In some instances, it takes people years to choose a name.
Back in the day, most boat owners went with a grandiose name. They might call their boat “Majesty” or “The Paradise.” But these days, there’s a trend with boat names: naming them something, well, fun.
Most of the time, this involves some sort of nautical pun, which shouldn’t come as a surprise. A lot of people who can afford to buy boats are getting up in years — and they’re often male. So, it makes sense they’d appreciate a good dad joke.
Enjoy these 75 pictures of boats with hilarious names…and keep an eye out the next time you’re at the beach.
