Kids are cute. Until they turn two and start throwing tantrumsโฆFOR NO GOOD REASON! Then all you can do is watch and let them play out their drama on the floor.
Sometimes as a parent it can feel like youโre the only one whose kid is having a weird meltdown. So, in a show of solidarity, parents everywhere have taken to social media to share all the ridiculous ways their kids are expressing toddler angst. And all the #ReasonsMyKidIsCrying are totally hilarious!
From not being able to reach the blanket theyโre lying on top of, to bananas that have broken in half, hereโs a list of 75 kids who think their parents are totally ruining their lives because they arenโt getting their way.
1) โI told her โNo more of Mommyโs makeup.'โ
There will be plenty of time for this messy morning-after makeup look when sheโs older. Any woman who has ever woken up after a late night of partying can attest to that!
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
2) โWe didnโt let her go outside without pants and shoes on.โ
Like the signs always say, โno shirt, no shoes, no service!โ But they always forget to mention the pants. Thatโs the most important part.
Source:
Twitter/Jane Huber
3) โHe offered me a bite of his pretzel, and I took it.โ
Maybe he wasnโt actually offering you his pretzel. Or maybe you took too big of a bite. With toddlers, you just never know!
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
4) โBecause he canโt watch Daddy poop.โ
Well, now is a good time as any for him to learn that poop-watching isnโt actually a thing. Or at least, itโs not a very polite thing.
Source:
Instagram/vickywithawhy
5) โI wouldnโt let him dip his toothbrush into my wine glass.โ
Good call. You donโt want him to get into the habit of dipping his toothbrush into wet things. Next thing you know, itโll be the dog or toilet bowl!
Source:
Twitter/anniejurrens
6) โBecause the people on the plane in the sky wouldnโt wave back at her.โ
Sorry kiddo, but they wonโt even wave to you when youโre actually on the plane either. Thatโs just how life rolls.
Source:
Instagram/David Burton
7) โDaddy tried to read her a book. She wanted Mama to read it. The book is Just Me & My Dadโฆโ
At least Dad isnโt getting too upset about his daughter giving him a thumbs down. Heโs probably thinking about all the Netflix shows he can catch up on in the meantime!
@Fran Thomas:
โI bet the mum bought that book so that she didnโt have to be the one reading every time.โ
Source:
Twitter/Kelsi Gulig
8) โI asked her to walk to the top of the driveway instead of carrying her.โ
Water, I need water! Itโs just too far, I canโt make it to the end. You go on without me. Iโll just lay here and keep dehydrating myself with all my temper tantrum tears.
Source:
Twitter/JackieMackk
9) Because I wouldnโt let her grab the dog by the penis.โ
The birds and the bees are one thing. But, this poor mom probably never imagined sheโd be having that โyou canโt grab a dogโs weenie whenever you wantโ talk so soon.
Source:
Instagram/jossiebean
10) โBecause I wont let him dip his fingers in my hot coffee.โ
Smart move. He could have been picking boogers out of his nose just seconds before. You donโt want those grubby little fingers messing up a perfect cup of morning thunderbolt!
Source:
Instagram/alaskanann
11) โHer pull-behind dog keeps following her when she pulls it.โ
Our adult minds might think that sheโs learning about stalker behavior way too soon. But, it could be something less nefarious, like this explanation from @Jenny Magidson:
โWell, really. No one likes a predictable pull-toy.โ
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
12) โHe doesnโt want to stand up and he doesnโt want to lie down.โ
Maybe itโs time for a playful compromise. How does he feel about sitting up and baking like a lap dog?
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
13) โHe realized his caramel apple has an apple in it.โ
Iโm with him on this one. Someone ruined an otherwise perfectly good-sized ball of caramel, marshmallows and chocolate with that stupid apple in the center.
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
14) โI wouldnโt let him eat the pregnancy test I was taking.โ
Better watch out for this little one. When he gets older, he might try to eat his own homework, too.
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
15) โThe โBest Dadโ wouldnโt let her eat the remote control.โ
She should be glad that the โBest Dadโ wouldnโt let her snack on the remote. If she had managed to eat it, heโd be trying to push all her funny bones! Oh wait, dads will still do that anyways.
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
16) โThere was frosting on both sides of her Oreo.โ
Thatโs a totally legit disaster! My OCD side get pissed off when all the frosting doesnโt all end up on the same side, too.
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
17) โShe farted and got a fright.โ
Itโll pass. Before long, sheโll be letting out those โsilent but deadlyโ farts in the elevator, and everyone will blame the poor guy in the corner for her smelly mess.
Source:
Instagram/Kelly Mae
18) โI wonโt let her drink hot sauce for bedtime snack.โ
As the saying goes, experience is the best teacher. But, if you want to stop her habit cold turkey, put a little drop on her tongue. Sheโll never have a hissy fit over fireball hot sauces ever again.
Source:
Twitter/Chris Gilmore
19) โTold her sheโs too young to start her own YouTube Channelโฆ. Worst! Mom! Ever!โ
It might be time to reconsider that whole social media business. Have you seen how much Kylie Jenner makes? Can you say, buh-buh-billionairess?
Source:
Instagram/hotmessfamily5
20) โWe gave her cake on her birthday.โ
Thatโs some over the top parenting skills youโve got there! What next? Candy for Halloween? Cookies for Christmas? Money for teeth?
Okay, that last one kind of reeks of organ trafficking. Maybe you should stop being so sweet about all the sweets before your kid catches on to you.
Source:
Twitter/Ana Marquez-Grossman
21) โHis fruit snacks are gone. He ate them.โ
Looks like heโs still trying to eat them. Better tell him to put away those fingers before he gets any funny ideas about how squishy and gummy-like they are!
Source:
Twitter/MrsFeek
22) โBecause her sister didnโt have to poop at the same time she did, and she wanted to poop together.โ
Sheโs just getting an early start on that girls going to the bathroom as a herd thing. The pooping together part will pass, and sheโll just do it for the gossip and makeup chats.
@kiwkrystal9:
โYour โwhy my child is cryingโ posts are always my favorite!! They are so cute but at the same time my birth control.โ
Source:
Instagram/jossiebean
23) โDad went to the bathroom. Alone.โ
On the flip side, boys are supposed to keep to themselves in the bathroom. Peeking in on your buddies while theyโre in the bathroom is not cool. Thatโs the sort of stuff that will land this kiddo a nosebleed in school.
Source:
Bored Panda
24) โI wouldnโt let her eat the dogโs tail.โ
Parents can be so cruel. First they wonโt let you eat the dogโs tail, then they wonโt let you eat the dog turd. Next thing you know, theyโll make you eat vegetables!
Source:
Instagram/Hannah Rose
25) โKids decided to go sledding yesterday in the snow storm. Then came home upset they were soaking wet. And no I didnโt send them off sledding unsupervised. I sent them with their father. Much worse.โ
All she needs is a fishermanโs hat. Then sheโll look like a true salt of the sea kind of sailor!
@Randy Inbred:
โThis is a long term dad plan. Next time they wonโt want to go sledding and dad can WATCH TV!!!โ
Source:
Instagram/Amy Anderson-MacArthur
26) โI wouldnโt let him unload the knives from the dishwasher.โ
Good call. Itโs much safer to let him play with the car keys on the floor. He canโt accidentally take off with the car, but he can accidentally poke himself with a knife!
Source:
Instagram/Shannon Murray Moore
27) โI wonโt let her chew on the tampon she found in my purse.โ
Best to nip that tampon chewing habit in the bud right now. What if she were to become a smoker, and accidentally reached for her tampon by mistake? Oh the ridicule of lighting up a little cotton whale with a tail!
Source:
Twitter/Lola Cutter Hensel
28) โIโm an a**hole parent because you have to take your socks and clothes off in order to go swimmingโฆโ
Maybe sheโs mad because you dressed her up like a watermelon slice and laid her onto the backdrop of a 1980โs music video. Or it could just be the whole clothes and socks thing.
Source:
Instagram/randellnicole
29) โCohen cried and fussed for a solid 20 minutes because he NEEDED the pink bus. 2 minutes later he is EPICALLY melting down because โI donโt like pinkโ. โ
Wait until he grows up and discovers the wonders of public transportation. The color of the bus will be the last thing he starts crying about!
Source:
Instagram/Carrie Raber
30) โMy shoes donโt fit her.โ
I donโt blame her. I throw a fit when they donโt have my size at Macyโs. The struggle to be a girly girl in a not-my-size world is very real!
Source:
Twitter/Jennifer Michelle Greenberg
31) โHer blanket is too far away. Yes, the blanket she is lying on.โ
Such a silly little girl. Adulting will make her long for the days when the distance to her blanket was her biggest worry in life.
@labdeal:
โIf only we could go back to such simple dilemmas.โ
Source:
Instagram/Amanda Raudabaugh
32) โI wouldnโt let him eat my โI votedโ sticker.โ
He just wants to take a bit out of politics. I bet right about now some people are wishing they could have swallowed their votes, too.
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
33) โI wonโt let him eat the bathroom garbage.โ
Well, if he saves you from having to take out the trash, and he really wants toโฆ Iโm just saying that no one has to know but you.
Source:
Twitter/Alissa Peretti
34) โOnly Daddy can read the Japanese book.โ
Do you want to know why this is even more hilarious? This is the Japanese version of the book โReasons My Kid Is Crying.โ
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
35) โSocks and shoes time is dramatic around these parts.โ
Ever wonder why you sometimes see a lonely shoe on the side of the road? Well, the mystery has now been solved.
@Kristin Latta:
โYeah mine hates to put shoes on.. Weโve lost a few pairs because she threw them out the window of the moving car.โ
Source:
Instagram/tairidanger
36) โHer banana broke and so she had a breakdown too.โ
Thereโs an easy fix for that. Get this kiddo some ice cream, whipped topping, and a cherry to go on top, pronto!
@Fred Burrows:
โMy banana broke the other day and 3/4 of it fell to the ground and was promptly run over by my tractor tire. It looked like a waffle. I may have cried a little too.โ
Source:
Instagram/Meranda Adams
37) โWhen mean olโ Mom wonโt let you open the hot oven door, throw a tantrum in the pantry. Obviously.โ
This is the part where you just throw up your hands and just let her have her silly little โpantrum.โ Also, while sheโs in there, maybe she can grab a bottle of Vitamin Water for you!
Source:
Instagram/Sarah Ruiz
38) โBecause she hates Walmart as much as I do.โ
We all feel this poor little girlโs pain. Be a good mom and take her to Target, which is what you should have done in the first place.
Source:
Instagram/jossiebean
39) โShe got up, and then she couldnโt get down.โ
In 70 years the reverse will be true. Sheโll fall down and wonโt be able to get back up, and will be crying over that, too. Funny how the cycle of life works.
Source:
Twitter/Amy Arthur
40) โHeโs crying bc he wants to be this tall.โ
Itโs a real problem that we all had to face! When youโre a kid, you want to be โthisโ tall so you can go on all the fun Disney rides.
Source:
Instagram/Amanda Griffin
41) โWe were singing happy birthday to her brother.โ
At least her brother has a sense of humor about it! In fact, he looks a little bit too pleased about the hilarious birthday party entertainment.
Source:
Instagram/Barrett Raven
42) โHe asked to watch Toy Story. I put in Toy Story.โ
Which Toy Story did he want? Thereโs 1, 2, 3, 4, or even all of the above at once! Ugh, itโs so hard trying to read a childโs mind.
Source:
Twitter/Kuhl Girl
43) โThe fly that she let in the house landed on her plate.โ
To be fair, it looks like it did more than just land on her plate. Itโs swimming in a pool of ketchup! Now her hot dog dip is totally ruined.
Source:
Twitter/Laura & Michelle
44) โI wouldnโt let him eat the toilet brush.โ
Heโs just trying to brush his teeth on his own. But, I think he may have already started munching on it before you caught him!
Source:
Instagram/Amanda Allotta
45) โWhen your toddler is having a #meltdown in the #biergarten because no one will give her a beer!โ
Replace โtoddlerโ with โboyfriendโ or โhusbandโ and oddly enough, you have the same exact scenario! Grown-up toddlers will have a meltdown if you donโt give them the adult version of milk, too.
Source:
Instagram/I Speak Mom
46) โHe didnโt want to have fun.โ
Iโm with you on this one, little buddy. Itโs no fun when your skates are too tight, your face is stuck behind bars, and itโs too cold to even fake a smile.
@Jessica Temple:
โMy son did this because he didnโt want to have to use the walker to learn he was devastated ice skating didnโt come naturally to him.โ
Source:
Instagram/Steph Penn
47) โI wonโt hold his foot while he eats lunch.โ
So, is it like holding hands, but with feet? Hopefully heโll grow out of this mac & cheese foot fetish, or he may never get past his 50 first dates.
Source:
Twitter/MeegsPls
48) โShe wants a butterfly, and I canโt deliver.โ
Moments like these can make you think that youโve fallen from the mom pedestal. But, itโs never too late to go back to school and learn how to be a butterfly catcher!
Source:
Instagram/the_disheveled_dame
49) โI asked her to stop putting her hand in the toilet.โ
Nothing fishy about that sort of behavior! Sheโs just practicing for when sheโs older and her iPhone falls into the toilet bowl.
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
50) โBecause she wants a cracker. Note: she has a cracker.โ
She needs a cracker for the other hand! But, then sheโll just be back and square one.
According to mom:
โIf I give her two crackers, she eats one and feeds the other one to the dog.โ
Source:
Instagram/jossiebean
51) โHe doesnโt want an apple. Nobody offered him one.โ
He can see into the future. In that future, everyone else is an Apple-hater, too.
Source:
Instagram/Rebecca Frediani
52) โI ate my hairโฆ. will it come out?โ
Yes, itโll come out. Just donโt look, or youโll never want to eat your hair again.
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
53) โSomeone was not happy that his โcoffeeโ was just milk.
Aww, this poor little man isnโt crying over spilled milk. Like every other sleepy-eyed person out there, heโs upset about not getting his caffeine fix!
@Alia G:
โWhen I was little I used to ask for coffee and my folks would give me chocolate milk, was really disappointed when i tasted real coffee.โ
Source:
Instagram/Joy Shepler
54) โI didnโt let my daughter pick up a dispensary bag, possibly containing weed.โ
Iโm pretty sure youโll get the same reaction from adults too. Itโs like trying to stop a chain smoker from picking up a used cigarette off the ground. Discarded weed bags are just too tempting to ignore.
Source:
Instagram/rageagainsttheminivan
55) โHe wanted to put dirt in my hairโฆI politely declinedโฆ.he is heart broken.โ
Awww, what kind of dad doesnโt want to play in the dirt with his son? Just pretend itโs dry shampoo and ignore the worms. Youโll be fine, promise!
Source:
Instagram/Mariah Bergman
56) โHeโs โstuckโ under the kitchen table.โ
This is what tall people feel like every time they stand up. At least this little cutie has matching striped jammies to go along with his self-imposed jail time.
@Bettye McKee:
โWhen this happens to truckers, they let the air out of the tires.โ
Source:
Instagram/Ashley Duncan
57) โHe ate ALL of the blueberries.โ
This is actually a real problem in every home. It seems like thereโs never enough juicy sweet blueberries to go around!
Source:
Instagram/Casey Osborn
58) โShe only has 5 ponytails and wants more.โ
You may think 5 or 10 is enough, but not from a little girlโs point of view. This is why you should keep a drawer well-stocked with ponytail bands!
Source:
Bored Panda
59) โI wouldnโt let her choke herself with a spoon. Again.โ
Aww, poor baby. Getting choked with a spoon is no fun! Good thing mom was there to stop her from putting the spoon down too far.
Source:
Instagram/dkpulsford
60) โAll because I said she looked pretty.โ
If you donโt tell them they look pretty, theyโll grow up thinking theyโre ugly ducklings. If you tell them they look pretty, theyโll grow up thinking that looks mean everything. Itโs a catch 42!
@alexbunnie:
โHow dare you. Alsoโฆ be carefulโ some progressive mommy might condemn you for calling her pretty, instead of strong, resilient, capable, or smart.โ
Source:
Instagram/2vnov
61) โI wonโt eat a piece of pizza crust that she already chewed on.โ
Sharing is caring, but this level of sharing?I guess itโs good if youโre 100 and have no teeth.
Source:
Twitter/srosebuckley
62) โI turned the water on for his bath.โ
Enjoy it while you can, little man. Do you know how many stressed-out adults would give anything to relax in a nice hot bubble bath?
Source:
Twitter/Carla Pruitt
63) โI asked him to pick up the towel he threw on the floor.โ
Heโs a super charged drama king! Pick up the dirty towel you say? Thatโs so beneath him!
@BusLady:
โWhat do you expect, heโs a guy.โ
@Amy Pfluecke:
โYeah Iโm thinking this problem will never get resolved.โ
Source:
Facebook/Reasons My Son Is Crying
64) โBecause I peeled the sticker off of a melon.โ
Wait, you mean to say that you actually had a free sticker in your hand and didnโt offer it to her? How rude!
Source:
Instagram/jossiebean
65) โIโm not Daddy.โ
He must not be one of those mamaโs boy. I guess the only real solution to this problem is to go get Daddy.
โNo but once a week I walk in to get him up and he screams No!!!! DADDY!!!!! and loses his mind. I have to wrestle him while heโs screaming bloody murder in my ear if we ever want to leave the room!โ
Source:
Instagram/Alex Stanbrook
66) โI wouldnโt let her eat her shoe.โ
Maybe if you put some No Chew spray on her shoes, your little puppy-daughter will stop gnawing on them. Either that, or put a few drops of hot sauce on the soles so she doesnโt get accustomed to the taste of dank foot sweat.
Source:
Twitter/cearamelton
67) โHe canโt get into his sisterโs toy Barbie jeep.โ
Maybe he wants to grow up to be a contortionist. I think jamming one foot into Barbieโs Jeep counts as a good starting point.
Source:
Instagram/Tammie Game
68) โThe Oreo pack he pulled out of the trash can is empty.โ
Sorry, little man. Mom already beat you to it! Maybe next time if youโre lucky you can catch a few random crumbs.
@Jessica Temple:
โOh man buddy, that is some real emotional pain youโve dug yourself into.โ
Source:
Twitter/snoop_court
69) โHeโs crying because heโs stuck in his brotherโs underwear.โ
Now, that right there is a legit problem. I would cry too if my head was stuck in someone elseโs underwear! At least he has a breathing hole to help him survive this travesty.
Source:
Instagram/Jocelyn Rylee
70) โShe canโt reach the tissues.โ
Thatโs how it all starts. But, that trick only works the first couple of times before you finally learn to say no! Then sheโll REALLY be needing those tissues when she starts bawling and doesnโt get her way!
Source:
Instagram/Amanda Raudabaugh
71) โCaptain Kirkโs feet wonโt fit in the container sideways.โ
Well, thatโs a new one. Captain Kirkโs feet have now gone where no manโs feet have gone before! It ought to make for an interesting Star Trek episode.
Source:
Twitter/Alissa Peretti
72) โHe finished the milk in his sippy cup, apparently this is catastrophic.โ
Your baby is showing you exactly how upset he is about the whole sippy cup fiasco. Heโs โTHISโ mad at you!
Source:
Instagram/Amanda Hemphill
73) โBecause we canโt leave the refrigerator door open while he rearranges the condiments.โ
Letโs forget his strange predilection for rearranging condiments for a moment. I think weโre all jealous and in awe of his uber flexibility skills!
โNo lie, he laid in the exact position crying for 20 minutes.โ
Source:
Instagram/Sarah Greer Jones
74) โHer noodles were shaped like stars instead of Elsa.โ
Oh Mom, how inconsiderate of you! But this little sweet pea looks so adorable even when sheโs trying to โlet it go.โ
@suzannesagester:
โOh, what a pitiful faceโฆIโd be going everywhere trying to find Elsa pasta!
Source:
Instagram/AnnaSummer
75) โI wouldnโt let him eat his shoe.โ
Uh uh, mom better watch out for this little big guy. Heโs giving off that โIโm so done with youโ pissed off vibe!
โHe started throwing his head back & screaming. Got me looking around like whoโs kid is this?? Lol.โ
Source:
Instagram/stephvnie_xo
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