75 insane things people have been caught saying online

The internet is a weird place. On social media sites, there’s a platform for anybody and everybody. That’s a great thing for so many reasons! People can connect with family members, make friends halfway across the world, and even get their voices heard.

And then, of course, there are those who should never have been given a voice because they’re flat-out crazy. For all the great things about the internet, it has many opportunities for the craziness to thrive. Online conspiracy groups love the web and they’re just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to crazy.

If you’re on social media, chances are you have someone nuts in your life, too. Whether they promote bizarre conspiracy theories or think that frozen lemons cause cancer, there are so many different directions the internet weirdness can go. And then, of course, there are the people who are weird in and of themselves. They don’t need any conspiracy page or following to post wackadoodle material. They’re naturally full of it.

They say the internet will make you despair for humanity. But ultimately, you have to decide for yourself whether you want to laugh or cry.

Here are 75 insane things people have said online that were posted for all to see.

1. Weirdos online deserve to be mocked

Creepy people like this who try to solicit strangers for naked pictures get what’s coming to them. This lady could have blocked the weirdo, but instead, she decided to have some fun at his expense. And can you blame her?

2. This is a rollercoaster from start to finish

Yes, some people really live like this, and their stories would make more fascinating movies than most of the films shown in theaters. And yes, they are100 percent insane.

3. Boy, do we have news for you

The Spanish colonized huge parts of the Americas, interbreeding with native tribes that had darker skin. But that Spanish language comes from a very European, very white place. Surprise!

4. No more family members for him

Some people are jealous when it comes to relationships. In fact, some are so jealous they don’t want their significant other talking to anyone else, even if they’re related.

5. Imagine people getting upset over being called murderers

Fancy that! This crazy vegan told her family she thinks they’re murderers, and they have the gall to be upset by that. If they weren’t so selfish, they’d understand that it’s the happiest day of her life.

6. Someone sure hates cheese

This is a normal reaction to someone buying the wrong kind of cheese. Yup, this person actually thought that destroying personal property was an appropriate response to not buying vegan cheese.

7. Shut up and take my lizards

There’s probably a good reason this group doesn’t accept pets. But that’s not the poster’s problem. You’ll post about my lizards and you’ll like it

8. Someone missed science class

Before vaccines, measles was a serious and common illness that made people very sick. Unfortunately, this person doesn’t have the slightest clue how vaccines work. In their mind, we’re all giving ourselves measles?

9. You just gotta believe me

New life hack! Whenever someone asks you to present evidence for your latest bizarre claim, just say that the government is controlling the internet and you can’t find what you’re looking for. It’s foolproof.

10. Nope

Aside from the absurdity of comparing modern political figures to Jesus, this poster has a very specific idea of how Jesus looked. Newsflash: he was from the Middle East and definitely not white.

11. How dare people without children buy pretzels

This seems like a normal and healthy reaction to seeing people not accompanied by children at an amusement park. For the record, Disney has plenty of attractions (like food and wine festivals) specifically for adults. But not if this lady has anything to say about it!

12. Where do you even start with this?

The claim that ties vaccines with autism came from a fraudulent study that’s been debunked many times. But this person doesn’t buy the science, so too bad for the sick bees!

13. This woman has some very specific concerns

Going to the zoo means you’ll see animals being, well, animals, and your kids might, too. Most parents have delicate, age-appropriate conversations with their children. But this lady has a much weirder solution.

14. Yes, yes it’s bad

If you react to a story like this, you need to seriously reevaluate your life. That is a terrible thing to think and an even worse to advocate for on social media!

15. You can’t wait for that?

Some weird conspiracy theories circulate. One of the weirdest is that the pop star Beyoncé (along with husband Jay-Z) practices satanic rituals involving eating kids. It seems like this person can’t wait for that to happen.

16. What are they – Doesn’t matter, I’m against them

In a nutshell, stem cells are cells that can make, well, more cells. This person doesn’t have a clue what they are, but it doesn’t matter. They’re passionately anti-stem cell.

17. Maybe check yourself if you’re suspicious of sunflowers

Sunflowers can grow extremely tall, often reaching to about 12 feet. This person’s neighbor has a yard with a lovely sunflower in it. They also have an insane person living next door.

18. Quit while you’re ahead

Wait, wait, wait, let’s review this. This person didn’t even challenge the original poster’s insane conspiracy theory. All they did was point out that they had indeed invested in Microsoft products. Unfortunately, that proves they’re blind to the truth.

19. This person needs to take a chill pill

This person takes their country very seriously, so seriously in fact that they fly into a rage the moment they see a picture of a flag. Unfortunately, they also don’t know what the American flag looks like.

20. I’ll allow it

Look, is this 100 percent totally and utterly insane? You mean it won’t do anything except get potato goo on your skin? Yes, and yes, but I’ll allow the potato cure if it means you’ll just vaccinate your kids.

21. What’s wrong with you?

This person is trying to make a statement about atheism but they chose to do so in the most insane way possible. Anyway, here’s hoping they don’t really have children.

22. This is healthy

This poster has a deep hatred for cops based on multiple DUIs. Instead of cleaning up their act, they’ve channeled their rage into wishing a violent death on every police officer they see.

23. Well, where’s your sword, then?

Putting the historical claims of the handshake aside, this dude just compared women to children and also implied that women can’t carry swords. I’d like to see him go up against Olympic fencer Elena Belova.

24. So close

Let’s briefly look past how horrifyingly racist and insulting this post is and focus on the fact they can’t keep track of ICE vs. ISIS. Sure, they sound sort of alike, but their acronyms are polar opposites.

25. Just keep it up

Yes, some people put pee in their eyeballs thinking it’ll cure them of mysterious ailments. Yes, you can get horrible infections from doing this. But don’t worry, it’s just the “toxins” leaving your body.

26. This is an interesting theory

This person doesn’t think that cows and pigs are found in nature. Apparently, they have never heard of wild boars or bison. They also have a theory about the origins of the pig, which is nothing short of fascinating.

27. Side note, I hate blind people

Service dogs are generally treated extremely well, helping the disabled live a more independent life. This insane person decided to murder their neighbor’s service dog to save them from “exploitation.”

28. Give them their free cat, dang it

I can’t think of any business that delivers free cats to people. Just take a stroll down almost any street in the world and you’ll find a couple of strays, however. That’s a better bet than messaging a local pet sitting business.

29. Wait, why?

Sure, men have said bad things to women and still do regularly. Do you know what won’t change it? Insulting random men who probably have nothing to do with that.

30. This lady doesn’t drink water apparently

In case you were sleeping in science class, dihydrogen monoxide is water. Subway’s bread recipe contains water. This lady has fallen for the prank hook, line, and sinker.

31. I would like to see this research

I would be fascinated to learn where this person got their information. Tell me everything, especially what McDonald’s motivation is for using child meat in their food.

32. Poor Squire Sebastian Senator

This lady canceled her baby shower, furious over people’s reactions to her infant’s name. At least they told her how they felt before his name was on the birth certificate and not after.

33. You’re looking for a maid, not a wife

Imagine your boyfriend inviting you over for the evening. That’ll be so nice, won’t it? But surprise, you’re there to cook and clean. Pass him the number for a maid service and get out of there.

34. I’m sure she would

This person truly wishes they’d been at the scene of a terror attack that killed dozens of people. They have the gall to think that being in proximity to danger would get them the attention of Ariana Grande.

35. NEXT!!

Have you ever heard the expression “beggars can’t be choosers”? This lady doesn’t buy it. She’ll refuse every ride offer she gets unless it meets her specific (and rude) standards.

36. You can’t have my organs

This person has no rhyme or reason for reacting like this. They saw a video about the benefits of organ donation. Instead of being sane, they reacted by saying they’d never donate their organs.

37. This seems like a normal reaction

A normal parent’s reaction would be to have a serious talk with the daughter, maybe taking the computer away, or making her bring it back to school. An insane parent reacts by breaking out a gun and start shooting.

38. She must have a fit walking through the grocery store

Did this woman misread the headline, perhaps? Where does she think that using of tampons is taking place? Oh, it’s just the picture that upset her. How does she feel about toilet paper, diapers, and toilets?

39. What’s wrong with you?

Hahaha, isn’t it fun to talk about destroying the planet and killing millions of people? This person doesn’t just want to do that and more but also fantasizes about melting some ice caps while they’re at it.

40. One star for leather seats

We all have to deal with uncomfortable situations in life, including people who disagree with us. This vegan hasn’t yet learned that most individuals don’t agree with their view on leather and animal products.

41. Speciesism: the great horror of our time

Someone had this reaction to a man getting beaten up, which ended his career. Maybe you think some animals aren’t humanely treated, but “speciesism” isn’t what it’s called.

42. Oh, okay

Something tells me this person might not know there’s a real country called Japan that is full of human beings and not the children of Lucifer. I’m not sure why this needed explaining, but geography isn’t everyone’s strong suit.

43. And then everyone clapped and clapped and clapped

Yeah, I’m gonna call you a liar. There’s absolutely no debate about whether the Earth is round or flat, and your pilot friend doesn’t exist. But hey, thanks for the flat earth fanfiction!

44. Oh boy

This person not only believes the Earth is flat but they’re also so convicted by that belief that they won’t spend the holidays with their wife and children. Also, is “Globehead” really the best insult you can come up with?

45. Well, it’s good advice

In case you were wondering, crematoriums can reach about 1800 degrees Fahrenheit, while conventional household ovens only get up to 440 at a maximum. Just in case you wanted to follow this terrible idea.

46. Just let them die

I’m going to bet this person’s opinion would change the moment they or their loved ones got a vaccine-preventable disease. You can be as high-handed as you like until it’s your family.

47. Wait until she finds out there are more

Here’s a fun fact: in the United States, Emma has been in the top five most popular girl names since 2002, and it’s been number one since 2014! This lady might want to get used to sharing.

48. How about not putting anything into ears

In general, it’s not a good idea to put anything in your ears, not even Q-tips. You definitely shouldn’t put essential oils in an infected ear canal because it leads to situations like, well, this.

49. That’s one way to handle it

Do you know what else you could do at the end of a relationship? Anything but this horrible, heartless idea. Seriously, don’t call your ex-boyfriend’s mom and tell her that he’s dead.

50. It doesn’t help

Circumcision is a hot topic on many online parenting boards. Some parents are bizarrely proud of their sons being “intact.” But there’s no earthly reason to bring it up in this context.

51. What the heck, Felicity

Nobody has a monopoly on a baby name. Even if they did, is this really a reasonable response? Because seriously, Felicity, you’re heading for crazy town.

52. You should probably call the police

As bizarre and hilarious as it is that someone thought a mom was selling her baby (and for $25, no less), they should probably call the police because, um, these people are trying to BUY A BABY.

53. That reply says it all

There are many reasons why women might need C-sections, including life or death situations. And ultimately, no one gets a prize for how they had their baby.

54. It’s called history, sweaty

There’s so much to unpack here: 1. Jesus didn’t write the Bible. 2. Jesus wasn’t an American. 3. It’s spelled “sweetie”, not “sweaty” unless you’re trying to make a weird personal observation.

55. There’s a lot going on

You know it’s going to be good when the “source” cited is “Do some Google research.” But of all the conspiracy theories, this one seems the most harmless. So, what the heck, let them have their dragons.

56. “So I punched him in the face”

Let’s get this straight: he stalked his son’s teacher, berated him, interrogated him about his personal beliefs, and then punched him in the face. Now he’s looking for a free flat earth lawyer to defend him. All I can say is…good luck.

57. He pets the cat right in front of her

To their credit, the people in the replies are telling her to cool her jets. She’s jealous of her boyfriend enjoying his relationship with his pet, which the last we checked, is an animal and not another woman.

58. No, but you can have a restraining order

This is quite literally the most terrifying message any parent could get. We’re not discounting the devastating psychological effects of losing a baby via miscarriage, but this lady needs psychiatric help immediately.

59. Cancer is healthy

Alternative medicine frequently gets people into trouble by ignoring conventional medicine needed to treat serious diseases, like cancer. But a health nut rarely says that cancer is good for you.

60. No…no we don’t

This person proclaimed something proudly, thinking it was a universal truth only to find their truth was far from universal and quite embarrassing. No, the vast majority of us don’t crush on our siblings.

61. That’s quite the theory

People will go to great lengths to defend the politicians they like. This “Trump decided to be honest about frittering his time away and Obama spent taxpayer money on suits” theory takes the cake.

62. This cat nudist

This lady thinks that cat owners put collars on their pets just to be mean. It’s not as though the collars have tags that contain crucial information about helping the kitty get back to its home.

63. This person doesn’t know the difference between milk and pee

Actually, milk comes from mammals, a class to which both cows and humans belong. And saying that “breast milk” is just a classy name – there are no words for this insanity.

64. Don’t worry, she lives with constant guilt

Whoa, whoa, whoa, the original poster “casually murdered someone” and commented “LMAO”? And someone else said it was all good because they accidentally killed someone once, too? Where are these horrible people?

65. Don’t worry, he’s a gentleman.

Here’s one way as creepy as they come: hit on a woman, then when she politely refuses you, write on her company’s public Facebook page to make her nervous. Oh, ask for all the waitresses’ numbers while you’re at it.

66. Oh, you’re just straight-up crazy

File this under “something you shouldn’t be bragging about.” When catfishing your boyfriend and destroying your relationship. What’s your long-term goal, to look as crazy as possible?

67. Is it…is it because of the golf?

Both former President Obama and President Trump enjoy a good game of golf. But to imply they influenced one of the greatest golfers of all time is a weird stretch that I don’t even want to explore.

68. Ah Doctor Who, such a white show!

This is a crazy bigoted thing to say in any situation. It’s even dumber when you realize it’s about Doctor Who, a show that’s been about diversity almost since its beginning. Currently, it boasts at least two main non-white characters.

69. They were stationed on the sun

Well, this random person checks out. They lived on the sun for 11 years developing CGI films for NASA and have pictures of the flat earth but can’t develop the film. What about this is so hard to believe?

70. They’re strange and mysterious creatures

This guy is making such a mountain out of a molehill that he gives himself away — he doesn’t talk to women regularly. Sorry, females. No, wait, women. What are we supposed to call them again?

71. …let’s talk about that

Aside from the fact there’s no reason for doctors to do this, it’s unlikely the kidneys are easily accessible during a C-section. Also, it’s common to have witnesses around like fathers, grandparents, and friends.

72. This is disgusting

I don’t even want to know what “womb wax” is. I’m assuming this mother is referring to vernix, the coating that babies have in utero. Not only should this be washed off, but it’s also unsafe to eat.

73. Staring proudly into the sun

Big Sunglasses wants to keep the secrets of the sun from the little people, so our job is to gaze directly into the eclipse while it burns our retinas. We’ll be blind, but at least we’ll be standing up for the truth!

74. Cupcakes cause cancer

Many proponents of alternative medicine claim that sugar causes cancer. This crazy person is recommending that someone should avoid chemotherapy in place of diet changes and CBD oil. Medicine, Brenda. They need medicine.

75. I HATE YOU!

What should you do when someone answers the exact question you asked, citing facts and figures? Tell them you hate them. That doesn’t make you sound like a crazy person at all!

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Source: Reddit