Kids’ drawings are usually pretty cute. Their little minds are just starting to understand the world and their hands — well, their hands aren’t really all that developed yet. All this is to say that sometimes, their drawings are just plain bad.
And that’s okay. Even if the drawings are bad, there’s no doubt their parents will love them regardless. After all, it’s the thought that counts, right? And there’s nothing that counts more than the thoughts of your little boy or girl.
Of course, kids are also completely innocent. They don’t know a lot about the world yet, and what they do know is pretty sweet, clean, and safe. But what that means is that sometimes, they draw some really messed-up stuff.
Often, they’re trying to capture a situation they witnessed but don’t quite understand yet. Sometimes, they’re showing that they understand just a little bit more than most kids their age. And of course, there are occasions when they’re just drawing things that inadvertently look like genitalia.
There’s no doubt that every single one of these drawings deserves to be cherished. And years later their parents can pull them out and laugh all over again! Only next time, the kids will actually understand the joke.
4. Her personality, summarized
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a glass of wine, but when your kid draws a picture of it for school showing you having some, it’s a little awkward. It kind of implies that’s the main facet of your personality.
8. At least it’s labeled
Thank goodness that Antonia labeled her work so clearly. Now we know it depicts a pair of scissors and not a giant phallic shape. Maybe we won’t draw scissors anymore.
12. Sounds like a typical sibling relationship to me!
This picture, a relic from the poster’s childhood, depicts her sister sacrificing her to an alien. We all have complicated relationships with our siblings growing up although this might be in a league of its own.
1. Just like Mom
This embarrassed mom had to explain to the teacher that her daughter’s photo was not her dancing around a pole, but rather selling the last snow shovel at Home Depot during a bad winter storm. I don’t think the little girl will ever live that down!
2. Hulk smashes the Kardashians
Most of us don’t really understand why the Kardashians are famous, but depicting them being smashed by the Incredible Hulk — well, that’s a little dark, especially for a child. The kid threw a couple of zingers in there about their looks and love lives, too.
3. That’s some unfortunate spelling
I don’t think there’s a worse way to misspell Buzz Lightyear’s catchphrase “I come in peace.” This kid found the very worst one, and yes, we’re all uncomfortable.
5. Not a flattering picture of Mom
Yes, everybody does it, but do we really have to include it in family portraits? Apparently, for this child, gassiness is an important part of her mother’s life.
6. Not a fan of the babysitter
Some of us can probably relate to having a babysitter we didn’t like very much during childhood. But most of us didn’t leave a threatening note depicting them being beheaded with an ax.
7. Don’t we all…
There’s nothing wrong with this drawing, depicting a fun day by the ocean. Unfortunately, this child made a pretty awkward spelling error. But hey, they spelled THAT word perfectly!
9. This school’s dress code needs some work
Technically, it doesn’t say where the first day is taking place. Maybe it wasn’t in a school at all. Perhaps it was in a nudist colony. Or it could be a plastic surgeon who does breast augmentations.
10. Better save up for therapy
A home chalkboard might not have been the best idea for this household where a brother enjoys tormenting his younger sister. I get the feeling that Emma might be a redhead…
11. This kid might be a little melodramatic
One little girl drew this rather frightening image of her father after they had a fight. Apparently, she planned on killing him with a broad smile on her face. Time for therapy!
13. This kid isn’t mincing words
There’s nothing like reminding your dear grandmother that the Grim Reaper is on his way to take her out of this life. Well, technically they didn’t say anything about the Grim Reaper, but they sure spent some time on that gravestone.
14. The hip bone’s connected to the crotch bone
This picture was probably done around Halloween and the teacher had all the kids draw skeletons. Unfortunately, this student put just a little too much detail into his. In spite of some slang terms, there’s no bone down there.
15. Well, I…I love you too, sweetheart.
This child gave their mother a beautiful Mother’s Day card. It included what was supposed to be an enthusiastic double thumbs-up. Unfortunately, it looks like a cheerful double flipping of the bird.
16. A little too much detail, dear
What a beautiful picture of…a seal? A person with three legs? I really hope those are three legs and not something else entirely.
17. Hopefully just an imaginative child
With any luck, this picture was drawn and captioned by a child with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. Their parents will be telling the story of how this image freaked their child’s teacher out for the rest of their lives.
18. Wait, what?
Children often come up with some pretty wild misspellings when they’re first learning how to write. This fantastically bad one is about as wrong as you can. In fact, I don’t know what they could possibly have meant.
19. Love and gas = family
Can you imagine being so gassy that your child includes it in your family portrait? One day they’ll be saying, “My mom loved me unconditionally, and my dad farted a lot.”
21. She’s got a point
Most people would probably say if dinosaurs came back, we would put them in a park (a Jurassic one, maybe!). But this little girl had a somehow even more barbaric idea that involved velociraptor-skin couches.
20. It’s raining men…
This poor kid hasn’t quite gotten the hang of drawing raindrops yet. In fact, if it wasn’t for the caption, I wouldn’t know that these were supposed to raindrops and not…something else
22. What a beautiful family
This child drew their parent, who said they weren’t sure whether they were being depicted as a phallic image or as something involving poop. If you’ve ever spoken to a kindergartner, you know either is a possibility.
23. That is, if you’re cool with that
You know what the weirdest thing about this is? She wrote “when my mom dies” and not “if she dies.” What exactly are you planning, oh creepy child?
24. It’s supposed to say “Yuck, P.U.!”
Here’s another child who hasn’t gotten spelling down yet. Supposedly, this picture shows her mother smelling her stinky feet and saying, “Yuck, P.U.!” But, that’s not what it says.
25. Well yes, technically true
Remember learning the alphabet in school and doing those “A is for Apple” books? This child decided they would pay tribute to the letter T with a picture of some tits — I mean, tights.
26. Take that, Hitler!
I see what she’s going for here, but I can’t help but think that a giant picture of Hitler isn’t the best idea. However, it does make me happy to know that Hitler is above a picture of ethnically-diverse people living happily together. Take that, racism!
27. Elementary school has changed
“Breaking Bad” was an overnight hit when it came out. Some people have rated it as one of the best television shows of our time. I don’t remember a character named Mrs. Edwards, though.
28. This might apply to Gordon Ramsay
“Why am I laughing? I’m not laughing at your picture, Jimmy. It’s a great picture. It’s so nice that your daddy likes to cook with you. Cook. C-O-O-K.”
30. Put some clothes on!
I’m not sure what’s going on in this picture, but I know what it looks like. It resembles three friends playing in the sunshine, one of whom isn’t wearing any clothes and needs a wax.
29. We love you too!
Some kids have a hard time distinguishing between Rs and Ls, as this little girl seems to. She’s displaying her sign with so much pride, unaware of what it really says!
31. They did fulfill the assignment
In fairness, those two cats are pretty different. The top one is vaguely cat-like, while the bottom one bears no resemblance to anything remotely feline.
32. An interesting strategy
Now, you and I both know that’s intended to be a hose used to spray water on a fire. But there is just no getting around the fact that it looks pretty darn anatomical. The spraying is the worst part.
33. What lovely apples
Yup, those definitely look like apples. At least, in the universe where apples resemble phallic alien shapes with misshapen testicles — I mean, fruit.
34. So how was the zoo?
The black horse in the back is supposed to be rearing, okay? REARING. It’s not, as some filthy minds might assume, performing a sex act on the horse in the front. Although that could very well be something you see at the zoo.
35. Um…I’m fine, thanks
This child clearly has some unspoken beef with his father, who’s apparently in hell. Or you know, maybe he just went on a vacation to Florida in July? I’m going to go with that explanation.
36. W…what?
This is one of the few instances in which an inappropriate drawing isn’t helped by the caption — in fact, that caption makes it much, much worse. For your information, it’s supposed to be a person shooing a fly away (i.e. whacking it off something).
37. Might need to make some calls
I’m really hoping this child has an explanation for this drawing and that it doesn’t involve their mom trying to hit their dad with a car. The shocked expression on Dad’s face doesn’t help.
38. So, I guess you’re not a fan of St. Patrick’s Day
Okay, to be fair, if you’ve ever heard a traditional Irish fairy tale that involves leprechauns, this kind of makes sense. Those leprechauns usually try to steal someone’s soul. At that point, it’s just self-defense.
40. No comment from Sarah
You can always one-up someone in the “I love you more” game if they die. Or if you say “I love you times infinity and one.” Those are both automatic wins. This child preferred the first method.
39. Murder at the Coffee Shop
Okay, some of these are funny, but this one is truly disturbing. What’s up with these smiling, happy people who have gone on a murder spree in the coffee shop? Was this drawn by a young Ted Bundy?
41. Well now
Yes, yes, we all know it’s supposed to say “I love Santa.” But you know her parents insisted on taking a picture just to embarrass her for the rest of her life. I would have made it our Christmas card.
42. It’s a microphone, you sickos!
Microphones aren’t the easiest thing to draw. But here’s something to feel good about — you’d probably be able to draw a better one than this one, which looks undeniably like an adult toy.
43. It’s a lawnmower
Have you ever seen a lawnmower that looks like this? Neither have I. This lady looks just a little too happy to be doing her yard work, if you know what I mean.
44. Good thing it has a title
These are obviously eyeglasses and not a large pair of breasts. This is exactly what a pair of glasses looks like! Nope, this is definitely a pair of breasts.
45. Sun’s out, guns out
Apparently, it’s all too easy to make an accidental phallic shape on a drawing. Who knew? This kid was trying to draw some finger guns, but unfortunately, the result isn’t quite what they were hoping for.
46. Polar bears fighting in the tundra
This one comes with a helpful back story. This drawing is of polar bears fighting in the Arctic – not a depiction of their mating season! Get your mind out of the gutter!
47. It’s a thumbs up
Super Dad says, “Screw the haters,” apparently. Nope, that’s just a thumbs up he’s giving. It just looks like a different finger altogether. Hands are hard to draw!
48. My oh my, the detail!
I’m going to make what I hope is an educated guess and say this is a giraffe with speckles. Because the alternative is that it’s an extremely detailed piece of male anatomy, and I just can’t live with that reality.
50. Happy Father’s Day!
This lovely Father’s Day booklet depicts a person blowing on a whistle to call the train. I’m sure Dad had a good laugh when he looked at that whistle and thought…well, exactly what you’re thinking.
49. It’s a camera
These children are testing the limits of all the things they can accidentally make look like a man’s private parts. In this newest contribution, no, that’s not a guy doing what you think he’s doing, it’s a guy taking a selfie with a camera.
51. I *think* that’s a monkey sucking its own tail
I don’t know why this monkey is sucking its own tail, but I’m happy to accept it. The alternative is that it’s sucking something else, and to quote Michael Scott: “Nope, don’t like that.”
52. In fairness, giraffes are tricky to draw
I think the worst part of this is that its head is pink. Aside from the general shape, it’s the pink head and almost invisible legs that make you do a double-take when you look at this giraffe.
53. Happy Mother’s Day!
Every mother treasures the pictures her children draw for her. Well, maybe not this one, especially since we can’t tell what the heck it is. But we sure know what it looks like.
54. What beautiful butterflies!
In a change of pace from all the phallic shapes in children’s art, here are some butterflies that are surprisingly…feminine. Oh yeah, and those mushrooms definitely look like male anatomy.
55. This child has big thoughts about marriage
Some kids think about getting married and having families of their own long before they’e old enough to start thinking about romance. Not this kid, who’s declared themselves for the single life at a young age.
56. You can always spot a breastfed kid
When the child who drew this beautiful picture showed it to her mother, her mom replied, “Wow, you gave us some big breasts!” The little girl responded with a puzzled look: “Those aren’t breasts. You’re praying!”
57. These ladies are quite happy to visit the lighthouse
Add to the list of Things That Kids Have Made Look Phallic: lawnmowers, thumbs up, monkey tails, mushrooms, rubber ducks, flowers, trees, and now, of course, lighthouses. Apparently, it’s a shape found more often in nature than you’d think.
58. Oh, by the way
Children are known for their unique ability to say the most gut-wrenching and honest things in the sweetest possible way. But this ad is just brutal. Why, child? Why did you have to include that?
60. It’s a dead My Little Pony
Think you’ve met a disturbing kid? I see you that one and raise you the child who drew this, a My Little Pony that was brutally murdered. Not sure what that shape is in the corner, though. I’m going to guess it’s a spider.
59. Please, Mommy, stop!
Here’s another one that probably earned a call from the teacher and a very embarrassed explanation from the mother. No, Mrs. Johnson, I only drink a couple of glasses a week. I don’t know what Sally was talking about.
61. Some acne-covered teenagers
I’m not sure whether this is a pair of happy pizza people or individuals with horrible cystic acne. Either way, it’s a little bit unsettling to look at. That might be a photo that “accidentally” falls into the trash can.
62. Can’t decide the weirdest part…
I’m not even sure how to unpack this one. The instructions say “Draw a picture of yourself,” and this child’s response was to draw a bloody surgery with a small child screaming in the corner.
63. Piranha attack at the beach
This family’s pleasant day at the beach was interrupted by a piranha attack. Don’t you hate it when that happens? Even more terrifying, the piranhas can now climb up out of the water, too!
64. Shake shake
Apparently, this child’s school drawing (labeled “Shake Shake” for reasons we’ll never know) has lived on in infamy and is still framed in the teachers’ lounge, where every year, new faculty wonders what the heck is going on.
65. I mean…
This kid is a realist. The average life expectancy for an American these days is 78.7 years, which means that most of us won’t get to see our 100th birthday. The top picture is what he drew after his teacher made him redo it.
66. His name is Dave, apparently
This child invented a character named Dave and promptly killed him. He then provided this detailed rendering of his lifeless body. Not sure who Dave is or why there’s a vendetta against him, but he should watch his back.
67. Thanks but no thanks
A parent says their child gave them this drawing one day with no commentary. They still have no idea what the story behind this bizarre picture is. At this point, I don’t think I’d want to know.
68. The title says it all
Ah, Mom. We love our moms with their bright pink pants, midriff-baring shirts, welcoming arms, and phallic feet. Oh, wait, your mom isn’t like this? Must just be me.
70. Olivia, no!
Is…is this supposed to be a duck? Is it yet another poorly-rendered giraffe? Is it the male anatomy with a horrible disease? The world will never know, and we’re not sure we want to.
69. Butt hearts
Makayla loves her mom! In fact, she loves her so much she drew her these beautiful hearts. They’re definitely hearts and not any part of the body, such as a butt or a crotch.
71. From a family of nudists
I’m not sure who this picture is supposed to be, but I’m extremely confused by the emphasis on the breasts. I guess this precocious artist wanted to make sure we knew these were boobs, but didn’t know how to show them after the body was colored in?
72. First comes love, then comes, um…
I have a lot of questions about this picture. Why does no one have any arms? Why’s there a yellow giant in the background? Is that purple thing what I think it is? What’s up with the Alcoholics Anonymous symbol above her head?
73. Wow, that’s quite rude
When Frozen came out in the early 2010s, it was an instant hit. Kids everywhere loved Queen Elsa, with her ice powers, amazing singing voice, and awesome dress. But Elsa, according to this artist, is pretty judgemental about her fashion choices.
74. From your local pessimist
I mean, I get it: these days we have everyone from Bill Nye to Zooey Deschanel telling us the planet is going to die if we don’t change our ways. But depicting the planet getting eaten by a giant tadpole monster is a little extreme.
75. What happened to this cat?
This cat appears to have been dismembered and decapitated on a barbed-wire fence. If that’s indeed what it is, I’m going to disagree with the caption: it absolutely could not have been worse.
70+ hilariously inappropriate drawings by kids that are impossible not to laugh at
Jenny Brown
08.29.19
Kids’ drawings are usually pretty cute. Their little minds are just starting to understand the world and their hands — well, their hands aren’t really all that developed yet. All this is to say that sometimes, their drawings are just plain bad.
And that’s okay. Even if the drawings are bad, there’s no doubt their parents will love them regardless. After all, it’s the thought that counts, right? And there’s nothing that counts more than the thoughts of your little boy or girl.
Of course, kids are also completely innocent. They don’t know a lot about the world yet, and what they do know is pretty sweet, clean, and safe. But what that means is that sometimes, they draw some really messed-up stuff.
Often, they’re trying to capture a situation they witnessed but don’t quite understand yet. Sometimes, they’re showing that they understand just a little bit more than most kids their age. And of course, there are occasions when they’re just drawing things that inadvertently look like genitalia.
There’s no doubt that every single one of these drawings deserves to be cherished. And years later their parents can pull them out and laugh all over again! Only next time, the kids will actually understand the joke.